Introducing children to your sickness

by

This magazine is full of revolting articles not suitable for folks with a sane mind—and you leave it all over the place for free! Any child could come along and take one, thinking it is something kind of congruous to family values in the public news form, but it is just disgusting! I don't want to hear about your sex lives you sickos—and neither do the children! Every time I have tried to flip through this thing I forget the only reason I empty the Coast paper machine every time I see one is to put the papers under where the birds sleep. Free crap catchers.
—Mary Contrary

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