Why can't I be cute?


The price of some damn toiletries these days is insane! I went to the drug store in Dartmouth to find some mouthwash, pit stick and dry shampoo. I could not find a bottle of mouthwash for under eight bucks! We're talking about a bottle of fucking antiseptic shit you spit down the sink. Why??? So I had to go to the dollar store to buy a tiny bottle of the off brand kind for two bucks that literally turns your teeth blue! I bought some of that $4 Advanced Protection deodorant there too, but my pits started hummin' a few hours into my shift! Clinical protection, my ass! Shit don't work! Another waste of money. I'll have to keep sticking lemon wedges under my arms instead to burn out my sweat glands. Dry shampoo is another four bucks plus tax at the dollar store (what happened to a dollar? Everything is four dollars—it should be called the four dollar store) just to spray some carcinogenic powdery shit on my head. I NEED dry shampoo to fluff my hair up so it doesn't look so flat, like the cat been lickin' my damn head all night while I sleep. WTF is with the high prices of toiletries and why are they all such fucking garbage? This is bullshit, man. Can a bitch look cute and smell good and still afford to eat? Apparently not.
—Blue teeth, B.O. and flat hair

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