Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

Submit a Bitch

Blah blah, blah blah, bikes, blah blah blah

Monday, June 3, 2019

IF YOU WANT A FUCKING METER GIVE IT TO ME

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:07 PM

I will give the required meter of space to all bicycles. it is the law and a safety issue .Only one fucking request when I stop my car at a light and the idiots on their bicycles come up beside me between the curb and my car: GIVE ME THE SAME METER. My car can not slide sideways.
—You can share the road as well
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Near death experiences

Posted By on Tue, May 14, 2019 at 3:43 PM

As a avid cyclist of over 30 years, I know how to ride my bike. I follow the rules of the road and respect the pedestrians and traffic around me. Here are some excerpts from my ride yesterday:

Thank you to the driver of the white pickup truck on Waverly Road yesterday. Your side mirror literally touched my shoulder and helmet while both of my wheels were ON the white line. Thank you the the driver of the dump truck who passed me going through Fletcher's Lake. When you passed me, your giant empty flatbed trailer swerved to the right, going off the road and taking me with it into the ditch—fun times.

And a final thank you to the driver of the garbage truck out past Elmsdale: When you passed me doing 80km/hr with about 2 inches of space, at least the wind suction gave me a respite from the headwind I had been riding into for over a hour. The adrenaline burst of my life flashing before my eyes helped, also.
—Huggin' the line

  • Pin It
    Favourite

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

To the truck I had to straight-arm on Vernon Street this week

Posted By on Tue, Oct 2, 2018 at 11:25 AM

Thank you, shiny red truck, for not pulling any further into Vernon Street as I cycled past. Sorry I had to straight-arm your hood, but it really looked as if you were not going to stop at all, and I felt pretty exposed as I wheeled past your chrome and polish and hot breath.
I'm sure you were surprised, and (maybe?) a little embarrassed. Sight lines are bad, with those parked cars nearly blocking the driveway. Maybe your driver just wanted to forget his day on the job and get you home. I could have been less insistent on maintaining my place in the road, I suppose. Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention, either. Anyway, no harm done—this time. No dents, no foul. Did we both learn something?
That was a friendly wave I gave you, as I rode past, only slightly diverted from my course. Not a finger. Your driver, bless him, may have misunderstood.
Just trying to get home in one piece
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

You're a vehicle too

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2018 at 12:08 PM

Bikers, I love that you're not polluting and I wish I lived close enough to town to bike in. But, when you're at a stop sign or a red light, that means you too! I've seen more cyclists run a red light or stop sign in the past month than I've seen actually stop—including one brazen cyclist who actually flipped off the car they cut off. Who do you think will be hurt the most if you collide? Just fucking stop!
Road enduring dumbass
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Monday, July 30, 2018

Bikers

Posted By on Mon, Jul 30, 2018 at 11:15 AM

I am sorry if this offends you, but I cannot stand majority of bikers. You have the ones driving on the road like a car, which I think they're supposed to do when there is no bike lane. But then, when we get to a red light, they all of a sudden are now riding on the sidewalk?! How is that fair? Would you like me to drive my car up on the sidewalk when I get to a red light? Oh wait, that's illegal.
—IHATEBIKERS
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

To the person who honked at me on my bike

Posted By on Tue, Jul 10, 2018 at 1:18 PM

I'm sorry I pissed you off at the corner of Cornwallis and Gottingen! I'm a new cyclist in the city and I'm still learning. It can be very overwhelming sometimes and I won't get better without practice. It's like learning to drive a car: Sometimes we make mistakes. Give us newbie cyclists a break sometimes, we aren't trying to upset you!
—New cyclist in the city still learning
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Drive better

Posted By on Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 2:48 PM

It's cool you want to force me out of the bike lane into faster traffic for the convenience of stopping where ever you want, but while you're telling me to f*** off: It's hard to take you to take seriously when you nearly hit a pedestrian with your car.
—Some cyclist on brunswick
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Bike Lanes: Use Them or Lose Them

Posted By on Thu, Jun 28, 2018 at 11:36 AM

To the cyclist who biked down Hollis Street this morning on the right side of the road, causing traffic to swerve dangerously to avoid him: Please use your designated bike lane on the left side. I know the Hollis Street bike lane is nicknamed "The Road Kill" because it shares the narrow road with 18 wheelers, but use it or lose it.
—Not the "Road Killer"
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Why is there no onus on the moving vehicle

Posted By on Tue, Jun 26, 2018 at 10:36 AM

In regards to the upcoming changes to the Motor Vehicle Act: I agree in the one-meter rule placing the onus on cars to keep a one meter distance from a cyclist. I can see and appreciate the argument for the cross left and cross right yield to cyclists. I happen to be sympathetic that the city is not as conducive to cycling in comparison to other cities, and that cyclists are in many instances treated like rats on wheels as opposed to fellow vehicle users. However, there is one amendment I don't agree with: 'Dooring' being exclusively the fault of the parked motorist. Honestly, if I t-boned a parked car door in the same manner with any other moving vehicle I would in all likelihood be one party held liable. The reasons being the other car was stationary, I would have had to hit it from behind, and it meant I was way too close...and I'm sorry folks, but it is not mission impossible to keep a 3 ft distance from a parked car door. Or at the very least, shouldn't the legislated onus be somewhat mutual and incumbent on both cyclists and motorists to avoid obstacles/hazards? Why is all of the onus on the parked immobile vehicle and virtually none on the moving vehicle with arguably an immediate better line of sight?
  • Pin It
    Favourite

Friday, July 7, 2017

Formal Request

Posted By on Fri, Jul 7, 2017 at 10:02 AM

Hello, could you please just stop publishing Bitches about drivers vs. cyclists? As riveting and not played-out at all as these arguments are, it's tiresome trying to keep up with which jerk is the biggest. Why don't we all just concede that drivers kill 1.3 million people per year on average and cyclists disobey road rules and nobody thinks they're in the wrong because nobody gives a shit about other people. Just get the fuck over it already and stop doing dumb shit, all of you. — Your lord and saviour, the big JC


  • Pin It
    Favourite

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Two-wheel skidiots

Posted By on Wed, Jul 5, 2017 at 4:17 PM

We stop for all stop signs, you don't! We signal to turn, you don't! You drive down the sidewalk, we don't. You drive where ever you want to, we don't! We pay gas, insurance, you don't. You don't even wear helmets, mirrors and have lights on front and back! I'm sick and completely tired of your shitty whining about sharing the road with us! Want to be on the road, act like a vehicle and obey the fucking laws. A tiny percentage of you DO drive and behave safely and also follow the laws and for those of you I am VERY PROUD to yield to you, and share the road.  Change your shitty  diapers and educate those who of you who AREN'T following the laws and stop your complaining to the drivers. For the others without a helmet, nothing worth protecting there, move along. —Driven to insanity





  • Pin It
    Favourite

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Parking in our Bike Lanes

Posted By on Sat, Jun 17, 2017 at 12:10 PM

To all the car owners in Halifax who park in Halifax few, precious bike lanes: Please stop.

I  know your excuses: You are just waiting to pick someone up. It is inconvenient for you go around the corner. You didn’t know it was a bike lane. You just need to send one more text.  You pay gas on taxes which somehow entitles you to park wherever you goddamn please.

I don’t know what’s worse: People who park in Halifax’s few bike lanes or the lack of enforcement of not parking in said bike lanes.  It’s a parking violation the city does not seem to take seriously, so the problem persists.

I know a lot of drivers hate cyclists. That is your right. You are allowed to hate us as much as you need to. Have at it. But please don’t park in our bike lanes. Your stupid, oblivious behaviour makes the road more dangerous for everyone. Driving (and parking) is a privilege, not a right. —A Haligonian on Two Wheels





  • Pin It
    Favourite

Friday, May 19, 2017

I'm gonna hit one of you and I don't want to

Posted By on Fri, May 19, 2017 at 10:41 AM

Can the cyclists in this city please decide if they're abiding by pedestrian laws or motorist laws? Figure it out—you can't switch back and forth when it suits you to use a crosswalk. —Jesus Murphy





  • Pin It
    Favourite

Monday, March 13, 2017

It's such a simple machine, they don't have to use force

Posted By on Mon, Mar 13, 2017 at 4:58 PM


It is great to see lots of cyclists taking advantage of this mild weather, and on Thursday evening I saw a bike commuter doing just that, crossing through the Commons, riding with their small child onboard in a 'baby-seat'; a great thing!  They had a nice well-equipped multi-speed bike too, and as I saw this from a distance I thought, why am I walking again?  As they tried to keep up their pace, I saw that the cyclist wasn't seated, and was standing up on the pedals; really putting their weight into it.  They were pushing hard as they could but were still struggling to maintain the momentum of their slowing bike, and with every push, the child's helmeted head bobbed all the way forward and then snapped back, again and again, like a metronome, lunging forward, then hitting the headrest again.  For the hard-working rider, all that is, of course, behind them, and they are unfortunately too pre-occupied with their labour, and still the pedal strokes got slower and slower, and the child's head plunked repeatedly and I thought, wow, that poor kid! This cyclist was in a 'hard gear' and didn't shift gears to suit the surroundings and, to their credit, lots of cyclists just don't.  So now I'm well out of range.  They have stopped, but as I saw next, they attempted to cross two lanes of traffic, still in high gear.  The way is clear, and agonizingly slow they crept into the road when the cars were distant enough away, but now impending, and yes the whole line of cars luckily slowed down and stopped to wait, as they should and you hope that they would.

To clarify, I am not talking about athleticism here; when a cyclist is in a gear that is simply too hard, they cannot accelerate dependably, and this makes them very vulnerable in traffic.  For car drivers, an analogy: when a car is in a high gear and the car is going too slow, it will struggle and the engine will stall out, dead, and if you (and your passengers) are in traffic, this could be very dangerous.  In the world of cycling, there are so-called 'spinners' who pedal quickly with lower gears, and there are 'mashers' or 'grinders'.  For those who mash in the harder gear, they like this feeling of strain, of exercise, like they are getting a workout, so they come to expect that, and then when they do get to flat land or a downhill section, yes, eventually they are getting somewhere, but they often arrive at their destination feeling worn out, and funnily enough, these riders end up not riding as much.  A cyclist has limited horsepower at the best of times, so when the bike rider's body is getting tired (in this case from slogging in a gear that is too high) another thing happens: their attention gets divided.  As a safety issue, we have a significant portion of the cycling community who could be shifting gears, literally, and truly turn a corner...  Obviously nobody wants to be told how to ride their bike, but if interested please seek out information from a non-bitchy place like your favourite bike shop, or Sheldon Brown's website; it will make riding much more enjoyable, efficient and safe(!).  However, if riding like this is kind of 'your thing' - when there is a small passenger on your bike, you are not running your own race, sorry. –Bikey McBitchface






  • Pin It
    Favourite

Monday, February 27, 2017

Share the road DCK!

Posted By on Mon, Feb 27, 2017 at 12:00 PM

man-breathin-fire.jpg

To the Friday morning mini-van driver with the license plate starting with DCK: I did everything a road bike commuter must do—I checked behind me, and then gave the turn signal that I was turning my bike out of the Bell St bike lane into the left turning lane at Sackville. I could hear you bearing down on me even when I was fully in the left lane. Without missing a beat you swung into the other lane around me and then cut back in front of me to turn left! I have been a year round bike commuter for seven years now, and no amount of experience biking in traffic make this intersection a comfortable trip each morning. You, Mr. DCK, drove irresponsibly and left someone shaking in their boots and angry for the next hour over the idiocy that you demonstrated simply to get a car length ahead. Have some respect for everyone on the road you jerk! —Shaken and ticked off





  • Pin It
    Favourite

Recent Comments

  • Re: Point Pleasant Park and dog owners

    • I have also had dogs "nip" at me while I have been running in PPP…

    • on June 16, 2019
  • Re: Dear Fuckboys

    • More like Miss Pass

    • on June 16, 2019
  • Re: Point Pleasant Park and dog owners

    • I love dogs BUT do not enjoy the attentions of large unleashed dogs. Was attacked…

    • on June 15, 2019
  • Re: WTF

    • So dip your tootsies in Frank's Hot Sauce. That shit goes on anything.

    • on June 15, 2019
  • Re: Advice for our councellors

    • I agree! Did my time on buses with no shelters. Waste of money to repair…

    • on June 12, 2019
  • Re: Why can't I be cute?

    • You can get mouth wash tabs at lush for $9.95 and they last me about…

    • on June 12, 2019
  • Re: Give money to a panhandler, get fined?

    • Reminds me of the professional Barrington Street bum, Mikey, who, back in the early 2000s,…

    • on June 6, 2019
  • Re: Car sales run over pet health care

    • It's a rotten place for a car lot. All car lots should be banished to…

    • on June 6, 2019
  • Re: ME! ME! ME!

    • The world is riddled with those Me! Me! Me! types. All you can do is…

    • on June 6, 2019
  • Re: Why can't I be cute?

    • If you look at the vast resources online, there's lots of natural substitutes. Look into…

    • on June 6, 2019
  • More »

In Print This Week Issue Cover

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 3
June 13, 2019

Cover Gallery »


Real Time Web Analytics

© 2019 Coast Publishing Ltd.