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Friday, October 4, 2019

Line cutter at Vegfest

Posted By on Fri, Oct 4, 2019 at 9:13 AM

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To the young man at Vegfest with the half manbun: You thought you were the first in line to get the coffee from Just Us!—but you weren't. You actually cut right in front of me. I was in the line much longer than you. When the barista asked who was next, I went ahead and got my coffee. I heard you say "OK" annoyingly as if I had jumped the line. Nope, t'was you all along! Pay attention!
—superstar85ca
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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

The end of Point Pleasant Park????

Posted By on Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 12:01 PM

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I recently read in the news that HRM has plans to improve (??) the conditions at Point Pleasant Park. Basically, they want to eliminate 80,000 trees from a section of 100,000 trees in PPP. In the article, you'll see that they plan on leaving the 80,000 felled trees to rot and provide nourishment for the forest. I'm not an expert on wildfires, but I think I know enough that you need to keep the floor of the forest clear of debris. I can only think that these felled trees would create a tinderbox that will burst into flames from a discarded burning cigarette. Are they simply being cheap, so that the company awarded the contract won't have to deal with the cost of disposing of these trees? Or is there a condo developer that wants to acquire this prime piece of property, after it has been leveled by fire? Google "summer tree-thinning post-Juan."
—I Should Rule The World
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Sunday, July 14, 2019

If looks could kill

Posted By on Sun, Jul 14, 2019 at 8:00 AM

Really, former employer, do I intimidate you that much? I saw a former employer around town a year after they fired me. I kindly said 'Hi.' What I got in return is an eye roll and the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen someone give. —Kill them bitches with kindness
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Tuesday, April 9, 2019

WHY

Posted By on Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 10:54 AM

Use your turn indicators well before your turn and stop wearing your ball caps backwards or to the side.
—Walking with coffee
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Monday, November 19, 2018

Laws are only good if they're followed

Posted By on Mon, Nov 19, 2018 at 11:47 AM

Hey everyone at the gas stations who like to hang out and puff away near the doorway: Guess what? There's a new law about smoking. Please read and heed it. But here's something else: It's illegal to smoke less than 90m from a doorway. I don't want to inhale your disgusting smoke when I go to pay for my gas. You people have smoked away all your brains, I think.
—I like my lungs
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Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Sunscreen Shamer

Posted By on Tue, Jul 10, 2018 at 1:12 PM

To the girl who made fun of me for putting on sunscreen as I was walking down Agricola Street: Really? Sorry that some of us have to reapply frequently, because they care for their health and don't want to end up looking like a fucking Oompa Loompa like you. Have fun with your faded tattoos and wrinkles, bitch.
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Tuesday, May 29, 2018

No hobo

Posted By on Tue, May 29, 2018 at 9:30 AM

Hey dudes, Winter's over. Time to shave off those gross dirty beards.  I'm sick of seeing all these curly pube faced men walkin' around town lookin' like a bunch of hobos. Buck up! Get a haircut and get a real job. Unless you're a Samurai Warrior, you need to snip off that nasty man-bun too and scrub that greasy scalp with some Head n Shoulders.  How dare you ask me out on a date while looking as though you just crawled out of a thicket!  There's no way I'd kiss a guy with that bushel of germs on his face. Get it together, take some pride in your appearance.  Shine your shoes and change your socks or kick rocks! —You Coulda Been Comin’ Instead of Goin’

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Monday, February 26, 2018

Dear adult

Posted By on Mon, Feb 26, 2018 at 9:30 AM

Get it together. Your broke-ass, drunk as fuck self isn't charming any more. Ditch the booze, ditch the men, and start loving and respecting yourself.  Do whatever it takes so that you can be happy again. You have been sabotaging yourself for far too long. Boom. —Your Life


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Monday, October 23, 2017

I have some questions

Posted By on Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 10:31 AM

You know that mock funeral those people had to protest the Acadian Forest clear cutting?

1. Where did you get those logs?
2. You do know that caskets are made from wood right?

#irony





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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Keep driving self-righteous baldie

Posted By on Wed, Sep 27, 2017 at 1:38 PM

To the bald shit stain driving the blue car who yelled out "good for you" to the cop who pulled me over this morning at the Windsor Exchange: Mind your business, douchebag. "Good for you" what the hell is that? Did you feel like you were an honorary officer? Do you carry a little silver badge in your car with you? Maybe you should have made a citizens arrest, helped the guy since clearly you are a better person. Must be nice to be perfect—well almost —your head could have been a little shinier as you drove by.
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Thursday, September 7, 2017

To the LCD dispensary

Posted By on Thu, Sep 7, 2017 at 4:55 PM

Just found out you're in Vancouver from one of your hundred lovers...Can you stay there forever? Be fake there instead of the east coast music scene. —XOXO


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Thursday, July 13, 2017

Not your average cycling Bitch

Posted By on Thu, Jul 13, 2017 at 10:22 AM

Why do cyclers wear such ugly outfits? Like those tight golf-shirt type looking tops—the material looks so nasty and hot (I bet it really reeks in the pit area) and shiny spandex shorts up your arse.  Ew, grab a clue. You look like an idiot. —I Don't Brake for Arse Peddlers


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Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Have a nice day!

Posted By on Tue, Jun 20, 2017 at 9:24 AM

You just tried to bum change from me, and I completely ignored you so you said “Have a nice day!"

In a strange twisted way...It feels like I just went through the drive thru at McDonalds. Except I didn't buy what you are selling, so fuck off! —You don't take Interac and I don’t keep change




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Thursday, June 8, 2017

Dear Big Library

Posted By on Thu, Jun 8, 2017 at 9:59 AM

Am I just confused or did you tweet a giant rainbow display with “Happy Pride” signage this week? Last I checked Pride is celebrated during July here in Halifax. LGBTQ+ Pride (month/week) is celebrated at different times in different parts of the world. Seriously–do a quick google check. Shockingly us queers don’t walk around saying “happy pride” to each other every day, though a lot do during Pride week, which as I’ve already pointed out, is during July here in Halifax, where your library is located. You really should coordinate holidays/events with your local community, don’t you think? I find it particularly appalling with all the controversy and debate over pinkwashing, that you would attempt to ride the coattails of Pride more than a month before our Pride kicks off; for what reason? Promote your brand? More Twitter followers? We’re more than just rainbows and parades BTW. Promote diverse LGBTQ+ displays/events all year long and only celebrate Pride, during Halifax Pride. —done with you


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Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Da Meanie

Posted By on Wed, Mar 1, 2017 at 10:32 AM

Gramma you have destroyed your family. You would rather pay that lawyer to drag it on, money that should have gone to your grandkids. The hate that seethes from your pores after a night of rum dumb. Stay off the tele the neighbours hear you and you are their nightly entertainment. I feel sorry for you! —I can't wait to get away from you and your family!





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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 20
October 10, 2019

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