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Don't be a dick

Sunday, June 16, 2019

ATTN: Door-to-door salespeople

Posted By on Sun, Jun 16, 2019 at 4:23 PM

megaphone.jpg
When someone is pointedly ignoring you while slouching home at the end of a hot day, take the hint and move on to the next rube. Whistling at me and shouting "Hey!" like I'm a fucking stray dog isn't going to convince me to buy your bullshit in the best of moods.
—No I'm not interested
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Monday, June 3, 2019

ME! ME! ME!

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:21 PM

Dear woman waiting for the number 3 bus at the Dartmouth Terminal:
What sort of rotting soul do you have to have to cut to the front of the line, blocking a visually impaired woman from entering the bus?
Only the person grabbing her arm prevented that woman from stepping off the curb in front of the bus.
Your face was smiling as you slid into your hard-won seat, your tatted hand holding your protein shake bottle.
You are either oblivious or a shameless narcissist.
I vote for number two.
—The bitch on the bus goes 'round and 'round
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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Yo, balloon boy

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:42 PM

I saw you steal the balloon off that old lady's front porch. Your buddy kept yelling "Wrong house! Wrong house!" but was perfectly fine after you snagged that precious, partially deflated pink prize. At least the third member of your drunk little gang had the decency to look ashamed when I met his eyes. You and the other shitbag, though, have a special spot in hell waiting. I don't care how drunk you were, you and your buddy are pieces of shit.
Oh, and if that banging I heard as I walked away turns out to have been you, and I see any damage done to the park or bus stop on my walk to work, guess what? I recognized you, and I hope seeing the cops coming to take you in for vandalism scares that shittiness out of you.
—Seriously, stealing a ballon from an old lady's house? How fucked are you?
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Tuesday, April 23, 2019

It's not cool to leave a stool

Posted By on Tue, Apr 23, 2019 at 1:43 PM

To the woman walking the black lab on Cunard street:
It’s clear you don’t understand that it's your responsibility to clean up after your dog takes a dump. Let’s keep it real simple for you: if the dog poops, you scoop.
—So glad I'm not your neighbour
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Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Respect accessibility

Posted By on Tue, Feb 26, 2019 at 12:49 PM

To the couple blocking the accessible parking spots outside a local community fitness centre, who, after I honked at you to move, yelled to me that ”patience is a virtue”: The rest of our confrontation is a bit of a blur, but let me tell you, I am the example of patience. I needed the spot to pick up my daughters, one of whom is in a wheelchair. At seven year sales old, my beautiful little girl cannot walk unassisted, is non verbal, is profoundly intellectually delayed and has severe epilepsy. I work daily with my daughter in hopes she will one day walk, communicate using signs or pictures, feed herself and use the toilet independently. I hope she will outgrow her daily seizures.

I am patient because it may take years for any one of those things to happen, or perhaps they'll never happen at all.

I have been dealing with people parking in front of those accessible spots for years. I have complained in person and over the phone to management and offered solutions and although I was promised a solution was coming, I am still waiting.
So yes, I honked at you and your wife because I am tired of people being lazy and blocking parking meant for persons with disabilities and not for people who are too lazy to park in the regular spots and walk a few steps ( because they should appreciate the fact that they can).
—Tired and usually patient mother

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Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Useless bystander

Posted By on Tue, Jan 8, 2019 at 12:13 PM

I fell on a patch of ice this morning. You stopped to light your cigarette, looked at me on the ground and then quietly kept walking. You, sir, are a piece of shit. Like, would it KILL you to ask if another citizen is alright? What is wrong with people in this town?
—Bruised ass and ego
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Monday, December 3, 2018

You're not fooling anyone

Posted By on Mon, Dec 3, 2018 at 12:30 PM

Listen bud: No matter how much shit you talk or post on social medi, everyone knows you you’re a loose canon and treated your partner and daughter terribly. So stop acting like a victim! You even assaulted your ex before. Quite frankly, I’m glad she finally left you because she deserves far better. Also NOBODY cares to hear about your shitty construction job or your truck! Grow up and get some therapy or something! Bullying the mother of your child hurts your child too. You are only fooling yourself.
—Realized you are toxic
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Monday, October 29, 2018

Read the fuckin' traffic signs

Posted By on Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 4:28 PM

I was driving down Agricola Street. At the intersection of Agricola and North, the car in front of me turned on his left turn blinker and stopped to wait for his chance to turn left. Incoming traffic was pretty heavy. IT IS A NO-LEFT-TURN INTERSECTION. The sign is right below the traffic lights. I waited for a couple seconds to give him a chance to see the sign and start moving. I gave him a couple light honks when he didn't realize that he's not supposed to be turning left. I rolled down my window and shouted "no left turn" and I guess I wasn't loud enough.
I honked a couple short honks again and it triggered him. I could see that he seemed to be yelling and looking back at me and then he aggressively pulled straight ahead and stopped on the side of the street. When I passed him I was going to roll down my window and told him that I wasn't being impatient, it's just that he wasn't supposed to turn left at the intersection, anyway. I gave up the original plan as I saw his angry red face and pumped up chest. I could hear his yelling and swearing without rolling down my window so I decided not to waste any more of my time and energy.
Then he started his car and cut right off in front of the car behind me and followed me while pressing on his horn long and hard until we parted.
So, in return to your "you fuckin' bitch" comment: YOU DUMB FUCK. READ THE FUCKN TRAFFIC SIGN AND STOP BEING A JERSEY SHORE LOOKING DOUCHE!—frustrated driver
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Tuesday, October 9, 2018

What makes a good manager

Posted By on Tue, Oct 9, 2018 at 2:37 PM

It's simple: The ability to admit your mistakes instead of belittling, demeaning and chastising others.
There is a breaking point for every human being
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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Hey, snoopy

Posted By on Tue, Oct 2, 2018 at 11:21 AM

My bathroom cupboards were not open. In fact, they magnetically stay closed until you open them. There are no pills in 'em with which you can get high. Don't be a douchebag.
—Friday night
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Monday, August 20, 2018

Excuse me?????

Posted By on Mon, Aug 20, 2018 at 4:11 PM

The pressure of catching the elevator at the airport parkade must've plugged your narcissitic ears. I said excuse me, but you were so focused in controlling your wife and kids you didn't hear me. The light brush of my bag makes you bitch to me that I should have excused myself. You're lucky your kids were there.
I heard your son say "stop." Another day; your time will come sooner or later.
—No excuses
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Monday, August 13, 2018

Susie's Lake assholes

Posted By on Mon, Aug 13, 2018 at 11:37 AM

Why? Why did you hike out to this beautiful, pristine lake and leave behind all your disgusting garbage? It appears you have no appreciation or respect for nature, so why not just do your asshole partying and drinking and fucking mess-making somewhere else? Maybe at home, where your mothers don't mind picking up after you? Because when I hike all the way out there, I really look forward to the gorgeous scenery, the peace and quiet, the waves lapping at the shore, the wind in the trees. Not your gross piles of garbage, stinky leftover meat, empty beer cans and cigarette butts everywhere. You shouldn't even be allowed to leave your house until your parents succeed in house-breaking you, you disgusting pieces of human garbage.
—Nature lovin' lady
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Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Sidewalk Etiquette

Posted By on Tue, Jul 10, 2018 at 1:14 PM

To the woman who sarcastically yelled "Don't worry about me, I'll be okay!" after our arms bumped downtown on a sidewalk today: WTF is your problem? It's your fault we collided at all! Maybe try staying on the right instead of forming a wall? Take your shitty passive aggressive comment and shove it. Do you expect people to jump completely off the sidewalk to make room for you and your friends? Give me a break and learn a few social graces. People that do this are rude, self-absorbed, or oblivious and I'm over it.
—Just walking
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Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Where have the good samaritans gone?

Posted By on Wed, May 9, 2018 at 12:21 PM

Imagine my disappointment when I finally notice the scrape and dent on my beloved Stanley David Suzuki. Don’t get me wrong here, Stan is definitely a lemon. But that’s not the point. The point is that you ran into him and didn’t even leave a note. Who does that? Have we no common courtesy anymore? I’m not as mad about the damage as I am saddened my the fact that someone wouldn’t even think to leave a note at least saying sorry. I do recall seeing a super awkward hipster looking guy at the meter behind me when I got back to my car earlier today. If this was you, I’m really disappointed in you because you actually looked sort of wholesome. If not, sorry I thought you were kind of awkward. —Would Always Leave A Note

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Friday, March 2, 2018

Earplug city

Posted By on Fri, Mar 2, 2018 at 10:36 AM

Motorcyclists: Have you ever heard the axiom,"Big noise = little penis"? It's amazing how one person making a shitload of noise can turn a nice demeanour into some mental sludge that just won't purge. It's bad enough all the ambulances have to drive through the centre of the city to get to their destination, the difference being that their noise is necessary. Take me home, country roads. —Relocated Rural


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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 4
June 20, 2019

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