Hey neighbour! Why don't you smoke that skunky skunk in your house? What's that? Your wife doesn't want you stinking up your house?  Clearly, it comes as no surprise that my wife doesn't want you stinking my house? Anyway, I have a solution: Go ahead and smoke your pot in your yard—but have the decency to do it on the other side of your house where there are no neighbours.—Wafted wife wants me to throat-punch you

Why, oh why, does anyone in their right mind spend good money on a concert ticket only to go and talk (yell) to their dumb, Instagram-scrolling friends? You, yes you, are ruining it for everyone else who has to stand within earshot of your inconsiderate ass. Do yourself a favour and don't waste your money — and please, do everyone else a favour and go do something else. Turn up your basic bitch Spotify algo and talk over Shawn Mendes with your halfwit squad in the comfort of your own fucking home, dumbass.—Fed up with festival talkers

Really, former employer, do I intimidate you that much? I saw a former employer around town a year after they fired me. I kindly said 'Hi.' What I got in return is an eye roll and the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen someone give. —Kill them bitches with kindness

Seriously? You believe the best place to pick at your fly bites and scabs is at the bus stop and on the bus? Not only were you picking—not scratching, but full on picking—your fly bites and scabs, but then you were wiping the blood onto your legs, arms and the bus seat. Come the hell on! How were you raised? No one wants to see that shit. It's disgusting. Then to top it all off you start sneezing with your yap wide open spreading your snot and spit all over the place for all to enjoy. Thanks so much for that. The topper to all of this was the huge wad of spit you graciously left on the side of the street before getting on the bus. Grow up and get some manners. I feel bad for whomever had to sit next to you on the bus.
—Wishing for some hand sanitizer

To the lovely woman who saved us so graciously when we embarrassingly pulled into a MacPass Only lane: Your sweet customer service made our day! —Need glasses

I'm tired of being treated like shit by my customers in the retail industry (and I'm sure other industries feel this too). It is my job to talk to you when you walk into my store. I have to say hello. I have to ask you if you need any help. It's my job to tell you the price of an item. The amount of customers who won't even let me greet them is astonishing. The amount of "Hi, how are you?" responded with "Just looking" makes me exhausted. I'm being nice and I'm trying to help you. Let me do my job. If you can't handle the social interaction just stick to amazon.ca.

Also, many people have never had to work in retail and it really shows! The amount of people who get upset with the associate for a policy or sale that is out of their control is ridiculous. I've been called a cunt and a bitch for something out of my control. It does nothing to help your situation and makes the associate feel like shit.

If you're reading this, please be nice to those whose job it is to interact with you, we just want you to be nice.
—Tired of crappy customers

If ya'll losers want to get some this spring fling season, get off Tinder and join the land of the living. Bring back chivalry and etiquette, the art of courtship. Carry yourselves with class. If you want to date me, you will need to ask me out on a date 48 hours in advance. So for a Saturday night date, you will need to ask me on or before Thursday. At which time, you should have a plan for said date, ie: dinner and a time in which you will be picking me up or meeting me at the restaurant (depending on how well I know you). Do not call me after 8pm on the evening that you would like to see me, because I won't even answer your call, let alone accept your request.

If by the third date, I have not received flowers, I will be cutting you loose.

You are not to be on your cell phone at all during our dates. Be present, be interesting. Don't talk about yourself the whole time either, you narcissists. Conversations should be give and take. Pay the dinner tab and at the end of the night, don't expect a payoff. You will be getting a peck if you're lucky. If I feel you're worthy of a second date, you better bring your A game. If you get to a third date, and get lucky, take yourself off dating sites and try to seek a commitment. Otherwise, I will assume you are a fuckboy and cut you loose.
—Miss Manners

So this weekend an absolute psycho who had their dog off-leash in PPP during a marathon caused a runner to trip over it. Said psycho then got in their car, chased the runner, and then assaulted them.

A lot of people will rush to say this kind of behaviour is not indicative of the average dog owner in PPP, but that's bullshit.

As someone who walks/runs in the park often, it's amazing how absolutely inconsiderate and irresponsible most of the dog owners are by allowing their poorly trained pets to impede you constantly. While not much of an issue while walking, for those running and biking in the park it causes a serious health risk to both themselves and the dog.

PPP is for supposed to be for everyone, despite what the hordes of shitty dog owners seem to think.
—TheParkWhisperer

To the person who chucked their whole McDonald's lunch litter into the middle of Dublin Street between Young and Cork Streets on May 21st, here's the refuse you refused to recycle or even take home: large paper bag (recyclable), burger carton (recyclable), two paper napkins (compostable), a whole large bacon and cheddar angus bun (compostable.), a salad container (garbage) the container cover (recyclable), an unopened package of croutons (compostable and recyclable), a plastic fork (recyclable) the fork wrapper (recyclable), a paper and plastic bag (recyclable) and a very large piece of garbage: You! Lots of retired people live along there and some have surveillance and are hyper vigilant. One lady I spoke with saw the bag being chucked and others may have you on their cameras. The world can't afford trash like you any more. Smarten up. You're being watched more than you think.
—Tired of trash chuckers

Not to sound like a bro, but could I kindly ask that when I am doing my morning exercises at the gym that you not fart near the weights? As you may or may not know, breathing is a huge part in getting those "gains" and...yeah breathing that is not pleasant.

I would like to point out that it's a normal function of the body, but I mean to be honest, it really smelled like doo-doo. Time and place for everything.

Thank you.
—R Kray