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For your health

Friday, December 13, 2019

Cigarette fuckery

Posted By on Fri, Dec 13, 2019 at 9:43 AM

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These new plain cigarette packs are fine and dandy, but why can't there be a stripe on the cigarette to differentiate the tobacco part from the filter? The whole thing is just plain white. I'm smoking filter over here and never know when my cigarette is done. Also, those nasty pictures on the packs need to go. Words are enough of a warning. I don't want to see a bowl of bloody piss or a picture of a dude with a hole in his neck. There are pictures of people dying that are exploitative. I don't think these people want to be remembered through a picture on their deathbeds.

Just stop with the pictures already. Or else put picture warnings on everything bad. Liquor should have pictures of cirrhosis livers and beer guts. Junk food should have labels with pictures of fat asses on them. The government needs to focus on something they can actually fix, like homelessness or more food banks or housing or an issue where you can make a positive change with your time and energy.
—Puff The Magic Dragon
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Thursday, December 12, 2019

Phone Zombie!

Posted By on Thu, Dec 12, 2019 at 12:33 PM

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Phone Zombie! Yes, you there, walking down the street staring at your phone! You are a hazard to navigation! Perhaps you are even performing wreckless endangerment by dashing into the street without looking? Yes, it's true Phone Zombie, humans cannot walk past a mirror, window or TV screen without looking, even if it's CNN. But it is also true that each of us is part of nature.

Phone Zombie, somehow billions of cells are working within us and somehow working together—and hopefully for the long haul—if you are lucky. But Phone Zombie, in life there are no receipts, no guarantees, warranties or user manuals. Why? Because we simply do not know how to build a human. And we have no idea how it or the universe works. Some call it a miracle.

Phone Zombie, a disconnect from nature is a disconnect with reality. And you, like it or not, are nature. Phone Zombie, staring at a phone or any screen is unnatural behavior, especially in public. Some might consider it rude.

So Phone Zombie, I'm afraid you not only look like a fool but you are promoting a disconnect with nature. Please Phone Zombie, put the phone down, look around and enjoy the natural world. After all, this is Halifax where the water may be cold but the people are warm. You are free here. Free to say hi to old friends and make new ones—even when walking down the street.

You are missing out, Phone Zombie. And at the same time you are diminishing how essential the natural world is.
—The Illinois Enema Bandit
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Thursday, November 21, 2019

To all inconsiderate and stupid asshole pedestrians and bicyclists

Posted By on Thu, Nov 21, 2019 at 2:38 PM

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Fuck you all inconsiderate asshole pedestrians who take their time traipsing the crosswalks. Your lazy asses may not be in any hurry to get to anywhere, but the people in the 10-deep lineup of cars waiting for you to cross the road certainly have somewhere to go. Also fuck you all inconsiderate and stupid bicyclists who occupy the road at crawling speed and hold up traffic behind you for miles. Get on the sidewalk and walk, you incompetent morons. Also fuck you all stupid pedestrians with their stupid noses in their stupid phones who jump on the road without checking the traffic. Also fuck you all bicyclists who are on the roads at night wearing dark clothes and no light or reflectors. Clearly you are all stupid assholes who are incapable of recognizing the danger you put yourselves in. Too bad for the motherfuckers who hit you because of your stupidity.
—All Those Who've Had Enough
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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Jay walker

Posted By on Wed, Nov 20, 2019 at 9:19 AM

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To the guy jay-walking in Spryfield with his dog on a cold and rainy night: That's how you get hit, bro. I didn't see you until the last second. Count your lucky stars that I did. And here's a fun fact—you're the one who'll get the ticket, not me. A nice little added bit of insult to injury for your stupidity.
—I'll Get Ya Next Time :)
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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Do not keep on licking if you care about your partner's health and are mature enough to talk about it

Posted By on Wed, Nov 13, 2019 at 9:12 AM

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As a healthcare professional, I felt compelled to respond to the recent "Tastes like chicken" Bitch concerning the smell of a woman's vagina. The facts given were not only inaccurate, but potentially harmful. A "fishy" odour is indicative of not only a bacterial infection but also STIs that may render the carrier infertile. If you or your partner notice a change in your feminine scent do not "keep on licking" but rather be mature enough to talk about it, just like you would if you discovered a lump in your partner's breast or scrotum.
—Please Go To The Doctor
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Saturday, October 19, 2019

And you thought phone zombies were bad

Posted By on Sat, Oct 19, 2019 at 9:21 AM

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I saw a girl walking down the street the other day while reading a paperback novel. Ignoring the world around her, just walking along the sidewalk with a book held in front of her face. Zombies: Quit living in fantasyland and join the life abundant, before you go splat.
—Go To The Library And Read, Dummy
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Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Shitty mental health system

Posted By on Wed, Sep 18, 2019 at 9:02 AM

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Most of the medications they've given me don’t work, and most of their other treatments like CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) don’t work either, and I think that's mostly because I was misdiagnosed. All that most of the medications do to me is make me stupid or sedate me—other than that, no benefits. The doctors even agree with me, but then continue giving me the meds that don’t do anything. It makes no sense. They refuse to reassess my diagnosis. To make matters worse, pretty much all of them refuse to taper me off the medications I don’t want to take, so I get horrible withdrawals. Any kind of problems with my mental health that I ask for help for, they refuse to deal with. Their OTs or whatever they're called mostly fixate on my diagnosis and anything about anxiety/social skills problems go in one ear and out the other it seems.
—Stuck In The System That Doesn’t Help
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Thursday, September 5, 2019

Killing us softly with sodium

Posted By on Thu, Sep 5, 2019 at 10:32 AM

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I just had a cheat day from my diet and boy, was it a mistake. After clean eating for a few weeks, I bought a bag of potato chips. OMG what a sodium bomb! I feel my blood pressure rising with every bite. Why is there so much sodium in everything these days? I bought cheesies and sour cream & bacon chippies, but I can barely stomach them! They taste toxic. Food companies need to lower the salt in their products—it's getting ridiculous. It's not even palatable!
—Could Only Eat 10 Chips!
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Thursday, August 15, 2019

The dumpster fire that is Facebook grievance peddling

Posted By on Thu, Aug 15, 2019 at 10:06 AM

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Wow. Just wow! What a clinical narcissist you are, princess! So you make a 3D ass out of yourself and we're supposed to care why? I watched your insipid video, but sorry, Hon, the driver was right! I'm a parent, and a responsible one. Your daughter's head was at seat level in that ridiculous toy! What the hell is wrong with you? Seems the driver cared more about your child than you did.

Get on a commercial flight and pull this shit! There's no difference. Seems you have a problem with a simple request to properly seat a child for safety's sake. Shame on you!!!
—Let's Hear It For Parent Of The Year: The Oscar Goes To…
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Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Stop the cigarette butt littering!!!!!

Posted By on Wed, Jul 24, 2019 at 9:08 AM

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I was very disturbed to hear that a report by NBC News named cigarette butts as the single greatest source of ocean pollution—surpassing plastic straws. PLEASE, SMOKERS, DISPOSE OF THESE DISGUSTING THINGS PROPERLY!!!!!
—Butt Hater
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Monday, July 15, 2019

Slower traffic keep to the right

Posted By on Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 7:26 PM

Just because you are doing 120 and the right hand lane is doing 105 does not entitle you to stay in the left lane.
I flew up to your bumper at 160! You need to get the hell over. I am faster so therefore you are slower. —Pissed off and late
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Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Pick at home and cover your mouth

Posted By on Tue, Jul 9, 2019 at 8:17 AM

Seriously? You believe the best place to pick at your fly bites and scabs is at the bus stop and on the bus? Not only were you picking—not scratching, but full on picking—your fly bites and scabs, but then you were wiping the blood onto your legs, arms and the bus seat. Come the hell on! How were you raised? No one wants to see that shit. It's disgusting. Then to top it all off you start sneezing with your yap wide open spreading your snot and spit all over the place for all to enjoy. Thanks so much for that. The topper to all of this was the huge wad of spit you graciously left on the side of the street before getting on the bus. Grow up and get some manners. I feel bad for whomever had to sit next to you on the bus.
—Wishing for some hand sanitizer
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Monday, May 27, 2019

Keep your kids out of the street

Posted By on Mon, May 27, 2019 at 2:26 PM

It's getting warmer—and that means soon, all the stupid parents who let their kids play in traffic will be putting out their completely ineffective little "We love our kids please slow down" signs. This, in spite of the fact that many putting out such signs have massive, fully landscaped backyards where their spawn can safely play—and the fact that motorists in this city are known nation-wide for their shitty driving. Even the few good drivers can have trouble stopping in time if little Timmy ignores the calls of "Car!" and decides to keep chasing the hockey ball into the street regardless. Kids are stupid like that. It's not their fault but they are. So, let your kids play on your own goddamned property instead of sending them out the front door into the path of some dumbass doing 70 in a school zone.
—The street is not a playground
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Monday, April 1, 2019

You STINK, Halifax

Posted By on Mon, Apr 1, 2019 at 5:18 PM

You had a grip on the cigarette smoke. Now, we can't walk downtown without inhaling weed every breath we take. Your people are the opposite of cool, here. Open up some MJ Cafes as designated spots instead.
—Pew-pew-pew
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Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Seething over scooters

Posted By on Tue, Sep 25, 2018 at 12:05 PM

To the young scooter driver leaving the mall yesterday: Where did you learn to drive that bike? You're going to get yourself injured or killed—passing the cars waiting at the light, by driving up the yellow line, almost getting squeezed into the median as you turned because you were where you shouldn't be, and then passing cars along the curb side is dangerous. There are only two lanes!
More patient driver
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Recent Comments

  • Re: Sidewalk etiquette

    • Learn downtown sidewalk etiquette. Barrel down the sidewalk like you're a Sherman tank & take…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Trash-ass mumble music

    • If she can make a living off what she does, who are you to condemn?…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Phone Zombie!

    • I'm thinking about all the repetitive stress injuries eye fucking a smartphone will do, particularly…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Cigarette fuckery

    • When those horrible pix first came out in the 1990s, I printed off a bunch…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: More Halifax driver fury

    • No human being can compete with a 4000 lb. vehicle. You're lucky to be in…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Alcholic lady

    • ugh How long are there going to be bitches posted about this? How many are…

    • on December 13, 2019
  • Re: Trash-ass mumble music

    • ok boomer

    • on December 13, 2019
  • Re: Maybe hire a copy editor too

    • LOVE this bitch by Unemployed Eidtor. Made my day!

    • on December 7, 2019
  • Re: Maybe hire a copy editor too

    • Probably because most of these job postings are a formality and they're all going to…

    • on December 4, 2019
  • Re: Alcholic lady

    • "heres a message straight to your face". Isn't posting a message here,the polar opposite of…

    • on December 4, 2019

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 29
December 12, 2019

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