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Get off of my lawn!

Friday, February 14, 2020

Seriously, now you’ve stolen my garbage?

Posted By on Fri, Feb 14, 2020 at 4:20 PM


Seriously, you've now stolen a potentially asbestos-containing bag of garbage off my doorstep?! I was going to keep adding to it, but I guess you wanted that plastic sheeting, dried ceiling popcorn goo and potential cancer-causing fibres! (I can't afford asbestos testing so I treated it like it did have asbestos). Between you and the neighbours who steal all of our plastic and paper recycling bags on a regular basis, I'm tired of it. Maybe I'll put out dog shit next time and you can steal that as well? — Careful Of The Asbestos

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Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Get your own space!

Posted By on Wed, Feb 5, 2020 at 3:02 PM


To the gaggle of entitled middle-aged women who took over my table at Humani-T Cafe while I was trying to read my Toni Morrison novel: At first it was just one of you who asked if she could sit at my table, since the cafe was busy. You hovered over me, and I felt too intimidated to say no. Then you brought your whole cohort and y'all sat so close to me that I felt literally pushed out. It's been a tough week and I just wanted a little joy with my book. Screw you. — Angry Reader

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Monday, January 20, 2020

LIbrary's noisy living room

Posted By on Mon, Jan 20, 2020 at 1:22 PM


 was always under the impression the "living room" on the fifth floor of the central library was meant to be reasonably quiet, yet every time I've been there it's been just as noisy as the rest of the incredibly noisy library. People speaking loudly on their phone, constant camera shutters from teams of unoriginal wannabe instagram influencers, people having conversations everyone can hear, etc. Is there seriously nowhere in the library with comfortable seating that you can expect a reasonable noise level? Just seems more than a bit ironic that a library is so inhospitable to people who are actually trying to read. — Detective Bookman

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Saturday, January 11, 2020

Let’s all learn how to do our garbage in 2020

Posted By on Sat, Jan 11, 2020 at 9:50 AM

Dear south end students: You’ve been living in what were formerly single-family homes for what, four months now? It doesn’t matter where you came from, in Halifax, there’s a law: we compost. That’s what the big green garbage can that is assigned to your house by the city is for. It’s not for your garbage and plastic crap. If you keep filling it with crap, it will keep not getting emptied on garbage day. And it will get so heavy that no one will be able to move it off the curb, where you annoyingly leave it. So, learn to compost, get the crap out of your green bin (yes, your problem!) and learn how to “do” garbage in 2020 (hint, there’s an app!). After half a year in school here, you got this! Signed, your non-rodent-loving neighbours.
Non-rodent-loving Neighbour
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Thursday, November 28, 2019

Uncomfortably numb

Posted By on Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 2:25 PM

Hey, neighbour (or visitor): The loud and annoying alarm on your precious vehicle, parked in downtown Dartmouth somewhere near the King’s Wharf area, started blasting at various intervals shortly after 6pm on Sunday and continued at least through 6am Monday. This is a district in which shift workers, health-care staffers, students, the elderly and people managing illnesses live. They could use a good night’s sleep. Disarm your alarm, you clueless or inconsiderate twit.
—Sleepless In The Dark Side
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Thursday, October 10, 2019

"Public" Gardens

Posted By on Thu, Oct 10, 2019 at 2:15 PM

This public space is beautiful and useless. There are so many rules (and employees reminding you of them) that it is impossible to enjoy being there. The buses of tourists and the odd local might find it lovely to stroll the pathways for five minutes, but not me. While watching my child experience pure joy in observing a duck and walking on a small patch of grass (yup, just some GRASS), I was told that this was not an area for play and that the family lawn was on the other side of the park (where there are no ducks and only an unshaded small field). I was also told during another visit that you're not allowed to WALK your bike through the park (just in case the busloads of tourists don't have enough path space and may have to step on a few blades of grass).

Just imagine a park in the middle of the city where you can sit on the ground and picnic, play with your family, be encouraged to use alternative transportation (bikes), experience beautiful gardens, and spend some time breathing in the fresh air and feeling better about your day, without the worry of breaking the rules by being comfortable. I bet the benefits would far outweigh any damage to pristine mow jobs. Wouldn't you use that space more?
—Just A Person Trying To Enjoy My City
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Monday, April 15, 2019

Unpopular opinion: The south end is disgusting

Posted By on Mon, Apr 15, 2019 at 1:53 PM

Once a respected neighbourhood, Halifax's south end has turned into a slum yard of half-empty take-out containers and dog shit. The garbage disposal leaves much to be desired, as most of the bags are rejected and left to feed a family of pigeons. Populated by students and landlords, the south end is anything but historical.
—Taking a stroll in a hazmat suit
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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Speed swamps

Posted By on Tue, Mar 12, 2019 at 12:33 PM

Last year three speed humps were installed on our street.
Most of the neighbours didn’t want it. The ones who wanted it were parents with small children who play on the street unsupervised. And hey, sitting on your step glued to your cell doesn’t count as supervision.
So now, the snow is melting and the water has no place to go.
Clearly the powers that be who side with neglectful parents didn’t quite think this through? The humps are so big that even driving slowly over them scrapes the underneath of your front and back bumpers!
I wonder if the city will provide lifeguards now so the unsupervised children don’t drown in the street swamps?
—Bump bitcher
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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

To all irresponsible dog owners

Posted By on Tue, Dec 5, 2017 at 10:00 AM

Always remember this before you buy a pet: "If you can't handle the responsibility, then don't even think about owning a pet." Seriously people, I am sick and tired of everyone not picking up their animals shit. Start practicing responsible pet ownership or I will personally call animal control to take your damn animal away. —Get Off My Lawn!

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Thursday, June 1, 2017


Posted By on Thu, Jun 1, 2017 at 10:18 AM

Your children do not have the right to disturb my peace. They can screech in your house, not in our adjoining back yards. You know my feelings on noise; it was quiet before you moved here. It will remain that way, even if I must make noise complaints. And I will. Yes, and you know I will. —Take heed…

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Just long one transit bitch today

Posted By on Tue, Apr 25, 2017 at 4:00 PM

OK, here's the scenario: jumpin' on the #54 from Woodlawn area to do downtown Dartie stuff, mid-afternoon, too early for rush hour.  Firstly, Smiling Mild-Mannered Bus Driver:  you're 8 minutes behind schedule.  Do you not realize people may want or need to make that departing-on-the-hour ferry to Halifax?  Secondly, Middle School Moron strolling down the aisle to the rear exit door in slow motion, texting all the way...Uh, could you move a bit slower, please?  The Texting Generation drives me frickin' bonkers.  Thirdly, those of you (usually with bulging knapsacks on your backs) who insist on standing when there are plenty of seats available:  WILL YA SIDDOWN ALREADY!!!  You're either blocking passenger traffic along the aisle, or at the front or back doors, making loading/unloading take longer and putting the bus further behind schedule.  Smarten up, all of you. —Crotchety Transit Rider of the Pepsi Generation

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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Keep your kids on your own property

Posted on Wed, Aug 24, 2016 at 4:00 AM

I know in your country it may be common at large family gatherings to literally play/hang out on everyone's lawn, but please don't do it here. I don't know you and your kids are screaming right into my windows while you sit back and do nothing. Please get the Fuck off my lawn :) —I bought it, it's not a public park
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Friday, April 8, 2016

Don't call them millenials!!!!

Posted on Fri, Apr 8, 2016 at 4:00 AM

We had some foul weather today and I saw lots of millenials that didn't dress for the rain. Are they unable to figure out how to keep dry?¿? Stop calling them millenials, call them MINIMALs. Minimal brain power,minimal work skills, minimal people skills, minimal social skills, minimal energy levels, minimal patience, minimal independence, maximum, (they travel in herds), really codependent, (addicted to texting, never disconnect and be a separate entity) the rest of us need to prepare for an economic crash. Form a strong social network and get ready for anything. —It's the end of the world, and I feel sh1tty.
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Friday, February 12, 2016

Paper Problems

Posted on Fri, Feb 12, 2016 at 4:00 AM

this goes out to a certain free newspaper wrapped in pink plastic and cast over my front step weekly. 1) i am all for papers in general, but i think your newspaper is a waste of valuable resources (sorry, but i never read you) 2) whoever throws you on my step always throws two to three of them, i am only one person! please send around a sign up sheet or something, and see who wants your paper, i feel awful throwing out so many every garbage day. thanks and best of luck, in a crushing competitive newspaper world. —a Halifax citizen, but not a part of your readership
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Friday, October 23, 2015

Earn your pay military

Posted on Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 4:00 AM

I work shift work and do most shopping during weekdays. So at Sobeys, Costco, and Walmart you find me, other shift workers, the retired, stay-at-home mom and dads....and members of the military in uniform !! Taxpayers pay your salary not to be at Home Depot at 2pm on a Tuesday or Cdn Tire at 10am on a Thursday. Get back to work!! —Enough-at-ease-already
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