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Get off of my lawn!

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Uncomfortably numb

Posted By on Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 2:25 PM

Hey, neighbour (or visitor): The loud and annoying alarm on your precious vehicle, parked in downtown Dartmouth somewhere near the King’s Wharf area, started blasting at various intervals shortly after 6pm on Sunday and continued at least through 6am Monday. This is a district in which shift workers, health-care staffers, students, the elderly and people managing illnesses live. They could use a good night’s sleep. Disarm your alarm, you clueless or inconsiderate twit.
—Sleepless In The Dark Side
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Thursday, October 10, 2019

"Public" Gardens

Posted By on Thu, Oct 10, 2019 at 2:15 PM

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This public space is beautiful and useless. There are so many rules (and employees reminding you of them) that it is impossible to enjoy being there. The buses of tourists and the odd local might find it lovely to stroll the pathways for five minutes, but not me. While watching my child experience pure joy in observing a duck and walking on a small patch of grass (yup, just some GRASS), I was told that this was not an area for play and that the family lawn was on the other side of the park (where there are no ducks and only an unshaded small field). I was also told during another visit that you're not allowed to WALK your bike through the park (just in case the busloads of tourists don't have enough path space and may have to step on a few blades of grass).

Just imagine a park in the middle of the city where you can sit on the ground and picnic, play with your family, be encouraged to use alternative transportation (bikes), experience beautiful gardens, and spend some time breathing in the fresh air and feeling better about your day, without the worry of breaking the rules by being comfortable. I bet the benefits would far outweigh any damage to pristine mow jobs. Wouldn't you use that space more?
—Just A Person Trying To Enjoy My City
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Monday, April 15, 2019

Unpopular opinion: The south end is disgusting

Posted By on Mon, Apr 15, 2019 at 1:53 PM

Once a respected neighbourhood, Halifax's south end has turned into a slum yard of half-empty take-out containers and dog shit. The garbage disposal leaves much to be desired, as most of the bags are rejected and left to feed a family of pigeons. Populated by students and landlords, the south end is anything but historical.
—Taking a stroll in a hazmat suit
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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Speed swamps

Posted By on Tue, Mar 12, 2019 at 12:33 PM

Last year three speed humps were installed on our street.
Most of the neighbours didn’t want it. The ones who wanted it were parents with small children who play on the street unsupervised. And hey, sitting on your step glued to your cell doesn’t count as supervision.
So now, the snow is melting and the water has no place to go.
Clearly the powers that be who side with neglectful parents didn’t quite think this through? The humps are so big that even driving slowly over them scrapes the underneath of your front and back bumpers!
I wonder if the city will provide lifeguards now so the unsupervised children don’t drown in the street swamps?
—Bump bitcher
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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

To all irresponsible dog owners

Posted By on Tue, Dec 5, 2017 at 10:00 AM

Always remember this before you buy a pet: "If you can't handle the responsibility, then don't even think about owning a pet." Seriously people, I am sick and tired of everyone not picking up their animals shit. Start practicing responsible pet ownership or I will personally call animal control to take your damn animal away. —Get Off My Lawn!


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Thursday, June 1, 2017

Quiet!

Posted By on Thu, Jun 1, 2017 at 10:18 AM

Your children do not have the right to disturb my peace. They can screech in your house, not in our adjoining back yards. You know my feelings on noise; it was quiet before you moved here. It will remain that way, even if I must make noise complaints. And I will. Yes, and you know I will. —Take heed…





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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Just long one transit bitch today

Posted By on Tue, Apr 25, 2017 at 4:00 PM

OK, here's the scenario: jumpin' on the #54 from Woodlawn area to do downtown Dartie stuff, mid-afternoon, too early for rush hour.  Firstly, Smiling Mild-Mannered Bus Driver:  you're 8 minutes behind schedule.  Do you not realize people may want or need to make that departing-on-the-hour ferry to Halifax?  Secondly, Middle School Moron strolling down the aisle to the rear exit door in slow motion, texting all the way...Uh, could you move a bit slower, please?  The Texting Generation drives me frickin' bonkers.  Thirdly, those of you (usually with bulging knapsacks on your backs) who insist on standing when there are plenty of seats available:  WILL YA SIDDOWN ALREADY!!!  You're either blocking passenger traffic along the aisle, or at the front or back doors, making loading/unloading take longer and putting the bus further behind schedule.  Smarten up, all of you. —Crotchety Transit Rider of the Pepsi Generation





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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Keep your kids on your own property

Posted on Wed, Aug 24, 2016 at 4:00 AM

I know in your country it may be common at large family gatherings to literally play/hang out on everyone's lawn, but please don't do it here. I don't know you and your kids are screaming right into my windows while you sit back and do nothing. Please get the Fuck off my lawn :) —I bought it, it's not a public park
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Friday, April 8, 2016

Don't call them millenials!!!!

Posted on Fri, Apr 8, 2016 at 4:00 AM

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We had some foul weather today and I saw lots of millenials that didn't dress for the rain. Are they unable to figure out how to keep dry?¿? Stop calling them millenials, call them MINIMALs. Minimal brain power,minimal work skills, minimal people skills, minimal social skills, minimal energy levels, minimal patience, minimal independence, maximum, (they travel in herds), really codependent, (addicted to texting, never disconnect and be a separate entity) the rest of us need to prepare for an economic crash. Form a strong social network and get ready for anything. —It's the end of the world, and I feel sh1tty.
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Friday, February 12, 2016

Paper Problems

Posted on Fri, Feb 12, 2016 at 4:00 AM

this goes out to a certain free newspaper wrapped in pink plastic and cast over my front step weekly. 1) i am all for papers in general, but i think your newspaper is a waste of valuable resources (sorry, but i never read you) 2) whoever throws you on my step always throws two to three of them, i am only one person! please send around a sign up sheet or something, and see who wants your paper, i feel awful throwing out so many every garbage day. thanks and best of luck, in a crushing competitive newspaper world. —a Halifax citizen, but not a part of your readership
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Friday, October 23, 2015

Earn your pay military

Posted on Fri, Oct 23, 2015 at 4:00 AM

I work shift work and do most shopping during weekdays. So at Sobeys, Costco, and Walmart you find me, other shift workers, the retired, stay-at-home mom and dads....and members of the military in uniform !! Taxpayers pay your salary not to be at Home Depot at 2pm on a Tuesday or Cdn Tire at 10am on a Thursday. Get back to work!! —Enough-at-ease-already
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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

selfies

Posted on Tue, Dec 16, 2014 at 4:00 AM

What is the big deal with selfies? Like for frig sakes every time i talk to someone new they want selfies. I'm not one to take lots of pics of myself to start with and i don't like to. I feel like screaming when asked for one. Its become a sad world when ppl need to a lot of selfies. —sick of pic requests
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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Children rise up!

Posted on Tue, Nov 25, 2014 at 4:00 AM

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I'm hoping that the next generation will rebel by rejecting their parents' generation's obsession with the so-called smartphones. There are far too many people walking, driving and just plain standing in the way while they selfishly fiddle with their devices. There are also physical issues. I used to work with a guy who was always complaint about his sore neck while he sat hunched over his phone. Duh! According to recent research: “The hours you spend on your smartphone could be putting up to 60 lbs. of pressure on your spine, a new U.S. study says. …..People spend an average of two to four hours a day with their heads tilted over reading and texting on their smart phones and devices. Cumulatively this is 700 to 1400 hours a year of excess stresses seen about the cervical spine.” —For the love of god put that phone away!
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Ornithology Studies - Saturday Evening Edition

Posted on Tue, Oct 21, 2014 at 12:00 PM

The common college bird, formally known as the Studentus Universitatis Froshus, tend to gather in large flocks, as can be seen in the backyard nearby, and in other urban settings. The males of the species can be readily identified by their backward facing caps - similar to the black-capped chickadee - but are much larger in stature. They can also be identified by their guttural mating call , "Aaaaargh, Aaaaaargh, Aaaaaaaaargh", and their displays of overt masculinity. The females of the species tend to be, but are not necessarily, smaller in stature. They typically do not display the backward cap, and have a more piercing mating cry, "Eeeeeeeeee!, Eeeeeeee!, Eeeeeeeee!" The mating ritual begins around a fountain of liquid. Both members of the species can be heard to utter the common cry, "Chug, chug, chug" as they begin to satisfy their thirst. Once the males and females are sufficiently satiated the mating dance begins. The males posture for the females. The females strut for the males. Their cries grow louder and louder, "AAAAAARGH!, "EEEEEEEE" "AAAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEEE". As the evening progresses many of the common college birds pair up for the night. The process escalates in proportion to the amount of liquid consumed. However, those who are unable to pair up eventually fly off to another watering hole sometime after night falls in the hopes of finding a mate from a different flock. This often results in competition and confrontation with other males and females competing for suitable mates. The mating calls of these hopeful birds can be heard well into the early hours of the morning: "AAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEEE", AAAAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEE". The unsuccessful birds eventually return to their nests before daybreak but they, and even some of the successful birds, will repeat the ritual the following weekend. —Full of beans
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

'Selfies', The Bane of Society

Posted on Tue, Oct 14, 2014 at 9:00 AM

To all you brainless little 'selfie' twits out there: what are you going to do with your thousands of stupid photos in 10 years? Cry relentlessly? —I Thought So.
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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 29
December 12, 2019

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