Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

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Good neighbours

Monday, October 29, 2018

This Stompin' Tom MoFo

Posted By on Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 4:17 PM

Hey neighbour, do you wear cement shoes on your feet as you stomp up and down the stairwell and hallway at all hours of the night? There is no need to stomp your feet so loud everywhere you walk inside the building—no need for it at all! Walk softly, asshole! The pounding wakes me up out of a dead sleep!
—Your pissed off neighbour
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Hey, Batman

Posted By on Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 4:16 PM

Why is it every time I turn on my vibrator, this one nosy neighbour comes out of his apartment and starts walking up and down the hallway? Mind your business, asshole. Could you give a bitch some privacy? No, I'm not going to open the door someday and invite you in. Get back inside your batcave and fuck off already.
—A bitch trying to cum, here
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Tuesday, September 18, 2018

To the curb

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2018 at 12:04 PM

Did you check Kijiji before writing the eviction notice? Thank you for waiting until all the students snatched up every livable unit in our price range. We were long-term tenants who paid your mortgage. Thanks for everything.
Crusty in Cole Harbour
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Tuesday, September 11, 2018

People live downtown

Posted By on Tue, Sep 11, 2018 at 12:12 PM

Why must you sing at the top of your lungs at 3:30am? I know the acoustics are great on an empty downtown street, but your signing is not. It’s a school night. Go to bed.
—Old man shaking fist at the clouds
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Monday, August 20, 2018

Get your goddam animals under control

Posted By on Mon, Aug 20, 2018 at 4:17 PM

Your damn dog escaped and ran amok through my backyard where I was weeding this morning, scaring the hell out of me, and I yelled at you to remove him 'cos you were breaking the law. Yet again animal owners need to be reminded that your animal is NOT entitled to do what it wants and your animal running loose is illegal (by-law A-700). To you, he's an adorable "member of the family." To me, he's an animal with teeth and claws that can inflict injury and property damage.
And teach your cats to crap in an effing litter box and NOT in my garden beds that I have slaved over! I'm sick of the shit, stink, and flies. It shows such disrespect and contempt for neighbours who live quietly and don't bother anyone. There needs to be a public awareness campaign by HRM so animal owners can't claim ignorance of by-law A-700. Moreover, the onus of law enforcement should not be on ordinary citizens. "Complaint-driven," my arse! What are we paying you salaried by-law officers and cops for?
—Peaceable gardener
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Thursday, August 16, 2018

Pear Shaped Pisser

Posted By on Thu, Aug 16, 2018 at 11:26 AM

You need to count yourself lucky I was hitting the bong for bed when you sauntered up to my yard and took a piss, even with me yelling at you, be it you had headphones on or were ignorant and drunk enough to simply ignore me.

Given there are public washrooms all around this area, you can go fuck yourself, and next time I'm not going to be so passive.
—Eat Shit You Fuck

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Monday, August 13, 2018

Get Ready! Students are returning!

Posted By on Mon, Aug 13, 2018 at 11:34 AM

University students are returning to town! Most have no life skills, so taking the bus can be complicated. You'll find them stuck in the aisle, stuck by the exit door, only concerned with the next text on their smartphone, oblivious to everyone else. Don't talk at them too loudly—they are easily dumbfounded. I remember those days.
And, transit is going to change the bus routes—but they have already changed the signs, removing routes there are going to be discontinued, and added the new route numbers for Aug 20th changes! Good luck finding you route number to contact departure times: You need that number to get the next bus time. Avoid routes 42, 18 and 17 as these are the university routes. What kind intelligence do these students possess? Get your shit together before you inflict yourself on the rest of us.
—Your education should include a class in life skills!
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Deliver to the right place!

Posted By on Mon, Aug 13, 2018 at 11:28 AM

Twice in the last two weeks, I had mail delivered to me that was for someone else on my street. Please double check the address. I'm a decent neighbour and I delivered them myself but not everyone is. Last year I didn't receive my package because you took it up the street. Now I am doing what should be your job. Get yourself a little pocket magnifying glass if needed and please double check the street number.
—Freelance probono courier
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Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Party neighbours

Posted By on Tue, Aug 7, 2018 at 1:18 PM

It's humid as fuck lately and I just want to have whatever fresh air from outside come in from my windows late at night while relaxing but I can't do that these days. Your loud cackles and screams along with your shitty playlist make it impossible. How about you have a little consideration for your neighbours? It's after 11pm so calm the fuck down with all the noise or go inside.
—Not old just hot and tired
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Garbage fuck

Posted By on Tue, Aug 7, 2018 at 1:15 PM

Next time you assholes want to complain about my garbage being out a few hours early on garbage night, consider the giant machine you had smashing concrete at 7am this morning. And then go fuck yourself.—Fuck you
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Monday, July 16, 2018

Monday Morning After

Posted By on Mon, Jul 16, 2018 at 11:59 AM

This isn't so much of a Bitch but more of a friendly, tired shout-out: If it's past midnight, you should probably turn your bass down. I love your friendly, local nature, but it was two in the morning before the band closed up—which the whole block could hear from their beds, the music amplification shaking their eyeballs. I know, 'cause that's where I was, dreading that I had to be up soon with only three hours of sleep. If we want to keep up this Sesame Street vibe our neighbourhood has, then please TURN DOWN THE BASS!
—I guess that makes me Oscar the Grouch, huh?
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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Let's make crows extinct!

Posted By on Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 2:59 PM

There is a fucking sqauking crow that has literally been screeching outside my window all fucking morning. One squak every microsecond. If I had a BB gun, I would decapitate that bastard bird and have it for dinner.
—I'm up, you son of a bitch!!!
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Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Nuisance By-Law Complaints

Posted By on Wed, Mar 29, 2017 at 4:34 PM

I never submit bitches but I am so hurt by yet another meddling property complaint we just received. We are the Griswold's of our neighbourhood and have storage lockers to hold all of our Christmas lights which I agree have become slightly rusted due to the continued winter weather. Hard to paint this time of year. Apparently someone from our evolving snobby neighbourhood takes exception. These complaints ruin people's lives and makes our neighbourhood a toxic place where you now do not trust your neighbours. We live our lives without bothering anyone and wish other people could learn to mind their own business.I am hurt by this and an anonymous call is cowardly. I would never do this to anyone myself. Mind your own business and let people live their lives. —Disillusioned HRM Resident





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Friday, October 28, 2016

It must be nice...

Posted on Fri, Oct 28, 2016 at 4:00 AM

To be dumb enough to put your dumb-ass, passive-aggressive, anonymous note on the wrong door. You meant to send this to my neighbor who has “three cars and a bike.” I don't know why you're too much of a coward to talk to these people face-to-face and have to use unsigned notes to show how angry you are, but have you even considered contacting the agency you mentioned in your dumbass note to report the activity you're soooo upset about? —Wrong Address
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Friday, September 16, 2016

To the charming girl in Dartmouth last night...

Posted on Fri, Sep 16, 2016 at 4:00 AM

with-a-purpose.jpg
I had been flying all day. Sick. Jet lagged. Finally got to sleep until your lovely screams to your friend Dylan woke up me and my whole neighbourhood up. I should have called the cops and let them sort out your irrational ass, but something about growing up in the ‘90s keeps me from being a narc. Your tantrum, screaming at the dogs on our street to shut up and going on and on are all proof that you are a garbage person and can't handle your alcohol. I hope you woke up with a huge hangover and feeling like the shit little girl you are. —Tired, Sick and Pissy
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In Print This Week

Vol 26, No 47
April 18, 2019

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