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Hell in a Handbasket

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Phone Zombie!

Posted By on Thu, Dec 12, 2019 at 12:33 PM

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Phone Zombie! Yes, you there, walking down the street staring at your phone! You are a hazard to navigation! Perhaps you are even performing wreckless endangerment by dashing into the street without looking? Yes, it's true Phone Zombie, humans cannot walk past a mirror, window or TV screen without looking, even if it's CNN. But it is also true that each of us is part of nature.

Phone Zombie, somehow billions of cells are working within us and somehow working together—and hopefully for the long haul—if you are lucky. But Phone Zombie, in life there are no receipts, no guarantees, warranties or user manuals. Why? Because we simply do not know how to build a human. And we have no idea how it or the universe works. Some call it a miracle.

Phone Zombie, a disconnect from nature is a disconnect with reality. And you, like it or not, are nature. Phone Zombie, staring at a phone or any screen is unnatural behavior, especially in public. Some might consider it rude.

So Phone Zombie, I'm afraid you not only look like a fool but you are promoting a disconnect with nature. Please Phone Zombie, put the phone down, look around and enjoy the natural world. After all, this is Halifax where the water may be cold but the people are warm. You are free here. Free to say hi to old friends and make new ones—even when walking down the street.

You are missing out, Phone Zombie. And at the same time you are diminishing how essential the natural world is.
—The Illinois Enema Bandit
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Thursday, September 19, 2019

Phone zombies, no bag limit

Posted By on Thu, Sep 19, 2019 at 10:55 AM

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Phone zombie! Why do you walk around crowded busy streets staring at your phone? Phone Zombie! You are a hazard to yourself and the general public at large. And you not only look like an insecure fool, you are an embarrassment to the human race at large. Perhaps stopping and moving out of the way of others would be a better approach to communications? It's illegal to drive and operate your phone. Why not elsewhere too? Phone zombie! You got to go!
—Enema Bandit
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Wednesday, August 28, 2019

And a new generation gets addicted to smart phones

Posted By on Wed, Aug 28, 2019 at 3:46 PM

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I was on the #10 going home late afternoon, and you boarded the bus with your one-year-old, who immediately began screaming bloody murder. Your immediate response was to quickly dial something up on your smart (?!) phone and hold it in front of his face for the entire duration of the trip. He sat slack-jawed and glazed-eyed, slumped in his stroller for the rest of the journey. From Barrington to the Bridge Terminal in Dartmouth, he literally did not blink once. Do you realise that you're messing with the delicate neuro-circuitry of your baby's developing brain? It's appalling that Gen Z kids are drugging their babies with smart phones like a narcotic, propped against their eyeballs, to comfort or silence them: trying to fill their gaping lack of parenting skills.
—Crabby Commuter
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Thursday, August 1, 2019

Broken hairbrush and SOL

Posted By on Thu, Aug 1, 2019 at 2:23 PM

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Tried to buy a hairbrush today at the grocery store. Not one under $15. For a HAIR BRUSH!!! Seriously??? What is the world coming to???
—Unbrushed Hair, Don't Care
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Monday, April 17, 2017

?EGG?

Posted By on Mon, Apr 17, 2017 at 9:39 AM

You had an Easter Egg hunt on "GOOD FRIDAY"? at a Bedford Christian church? dan-da-man





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Saturday, October 11, 2014

Fuck Positive Thinking

Posted on Sat, Oct 11, 2014 at 3:00 PM

I was thinking last night; and maybe it was the pot, maybe it was him, maybe it was that 4 a.m. is not when you should be thinking, but should be sleeping; but the following occurred with acute visuals to boot... Everyone, almost everyone, has gone so insane and the world has gotten so fucked up, it's imperceptible; because so many have gone this insane... The last few years, during all the crazy shit happening people keep saying: "Think positive." then smiling, a smile that after I think about it enough, kind of looks crooked, and insane; eyes that are not smiling so much as barely hiding the bat shit crazy being suppressed by the positive thinking... The most keen moment of this happened during the start of the summer and perfectly describes and encapsulates the rediculousness that has become the "Think Positive" train... I stood in the old crazy German man's house, screaming about how fucked up everything was at that moment; the moment after my kitten got grabbed by his dog and shaken about till his rear leg dislocated; and he was dropped in a foot deep of swamp water; the moment now, which he curled into me; his leg hanging loose, my trying to keep it still; but not hurt it further at the same time; losing my fucking shit... He and his lady just keep saying to "Think positive" and giving me the smile... "Think positive, think positive, you have to think positive that it isn't so bad!" This, my friends; is why "Think Positive" is bullshit and why everyone needs to cut that shit out... While they kept insisting I think positive, I had to literally scream and shout them down, in order to get people moving, to get the cat to the emergency room to get his leg put back on, since I have no idea how to do that (Note to self: Learn to competently fix broken limbs.)... AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT GOT US INTO THAT SITUATION TO START WITH? THINKING POSITIVE THAT THE CRAZY OLD MAN INSISTING I COME TO HIS DEATH TRAP INDUSTRIAL WASTE LAND WOULD LEAD TO GREAT AND WONDERFUL THINGS LIKE HE PROMISED SUCH AS OWNING A BIT OF LAND... Cost me: 2 cats, 1 boat, 1 painting worked on for three years, everything that is background noise 'dreams and goals' in life, led to the shittiest summer ever; and 3000+ dollars in vet bills. THANKS POSITIVE THINKING, I OWE YOU ONE. —Disequilibriumized
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Monday, August 17, 2009

Why is this city like one large dump?

Posted on Mon, Aug 17, 2009 at 1:29 PM

Why is this city like one large dump? From the harbour to the sidewalks, to the sides of the roads....this city has become a BIG festering sore on the face of Nova Scotia. No one seems to give a shit save for what goes unfiltered into the harbour. Every where you look there are plastic containers, or TH's coffee cups, bits and pieces of plactic, plastic bags (that clog the trees), metal, everything that should be recycled, could be reclycled, BUT is not being recycled. Mother nature is not a giant vacuum cleaner that magically takes our waste away. But hey I rant....everyone is on this sinking, stinking ship together.....so why give a fuck????

---wgaf
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