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Hipster doofus

Friday, October 4, 2019

Line cutter at Vegfest

Posted By on Fri, Oct 4, 2019 at 9:13 AM

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To the young man at Vegfest with the half manbun: You thought you were the first in line to get the coffee from Just Us!—but you weren't. You actually cut right in front of me. I was in the line much longer than you. When the barista asked who was next, I went ahead and got my coffee. I heard you say "OK" annoyingly as if I had jumped the line. Nope, t'was you all along! Pay attention!
—superstar85ca
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Monday, November 19, 2018

Ride sharing

Posted By on Mon, Nov 19, 2018 at 11:51 AM

British Columbia is introducing a ride sharing legislation in November, meaning there'll be room for Lyft and Uber to follow. The friggin' NDP government? As a forward-thinking liberal government, why are you failing behind the NDP?
—City boy
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Thursday, October 1, 2015

You. Are NOT. A CURATOR. (nice album collection though)

Posted on Thu, Oct 1, 2015 at 4:00 AM

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Ahem. Hipsters, please, please, please stop using the word CURATED in reference to your; album collection, selection of vintage clothing, lists of restaurants, band line up for your rock festival, shit you like on Pinterest. To CURATE does not mean to edit, or choose, or to collect or assemble. Curating, in the art world, has much more to do with asking an urgent intellectual question—a question that has emerged out of robust and peer reviewed research (empirical research, not, like, Googling articles on the internet, or relying on secondary sources) and exploring that question through an analysis of art works that are positioned in relation to each other and to the viewer. While I certainly think you can position any object—whether it’s an art piece or a porcelain toilette—within a gallery space ( or any kind of social space) to lead/engage a viewer through an intellectual/experiential process, it's probably NOT GONNA HAPPEN in your vintage clothing store. Or your brewery. Or your online magazine. Or listening to your iPod.

Great collection, though. Nice stuff, good taste—just stop using the word CURATED. I know the word sounds oh-so-fresh-and-so-cool and I get that you aspire to have the recognition and admiration that being a CURATOR engenders. But you’re not a curator. You just chose some cool stuff you like. You have great aesthetic taste.

A CURATOR would deconstruct the social and cultural process of how individuals collectively develop an aesthetic (within, say, a subculture like hipsters), through an exhibition of artworks that would lead you (the viewer) into some kind of internal dialogue exploring the cognitive dissonance that occurs when one is challenged to deconstruct their own identity. Like, what’s happening right now as you read this? Why don’t you go ‘curate’ that. Pretentious f*%s. —Suffering Fools. NOT.

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Thursday, June 11, 2015

MAN BUNS AND THE NEXT HAIRY THING

Posted on Thu, Jun 11, 2015 at 4:00 AM

I have nothing, in theory, against the man bun...but what is it with you guys that have to follow every trend, one after the other? Sure, when I was in high school I gave a shit about things like that, but then I became a man. You seem to need to follow every new development in the hipster universe to appease your longing for attention. We could build a trend line with your photos, starting with your racing stripes in  junior high. You don't miss a beat. Don't you feel a little bit silly looking around and seeing everyone else looking just like you? Or is it the other way around? Can somebody please give them a hug? Maybe the just need a hug. A nice soft and warm hug that says "It's ok." I wonder what next big thing will draw you in. — THE BORG
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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Vaping, E-cigs et. al

Posted on Tue, May 12, 2015 at 4:00 AM

... they look even douchier than a cigarette. This huge tacky looking thing stuck in your mouth that you're drawing so hard on your cheeks suck in. Classy. You look like idiots. —Dushe
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Friday, April 24, 2015

You're not God!

Posted on Fri, Apr 24, 2015 at 4:00 AM

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No matter what the conversation, you know everything there is or ever was to know about this particular topic. You are always right about everything you say, and you always say a lot. Your mouth never stops moving and the bizarre and unbelievable spew out like lava. Don't you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk? I've known you since the ‘80s with about two-and-a-half decades in between us meeting again about eight years ago. You haven't changed a bit. The only One who knows everything there is to know about everything and anything is God not you. Hate to break it to ya’ but you should have known. —Acquaintance and colleague
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Monday, April 6, 2015

Good Friday wasn't All That Good

Posted on Mon, Apr 6, 2015 at 4:00 AM

Okay, I understand you people and your holidays, a little time off to chill and be with your family but "Good" Friday? I was there, it wasn't all that good. I mean when I arrived in Jerusalem on Sunday things going pretty well. Rode in on my donkey, people waving palm leaves ,cheering us on. This was Passover, time to rock the Romans. Sure there were those clowns and their flea market in the temple but generally things were going pretty well. Big plans were in the making but then I get ratted out. Judas, I was always said that guy had a big mouth but, NO, let's keep him an apostle. Lousy kisser too. Then the denials, Peter completes the hat trick on that one.Which brings me to TGIF, not. How would you mofos like to get 39 lashes then have a rose bush crammed on your head? Then, on the day of the crucifixion, I have to carry my own God-damned cross. You know how much they weigh? Even more with a bad back. Sure I had a bit of help with the cross but still. Then the final indignity, being a carpenter by trade, and being put to death by nails and timber. Sheesh! That Friday, it weren't good and certainly no holiday. —Jesus H.
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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Take down the red swings already!

Posted on Wed, Dec 3, 2014 at 8:44 AM

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Ok, your art project is done, the swings are not being used anymore. Please take them down. They didn't even work all that well as swings, with the ropes being of uneven length, the swinging was all wobbly, and I did not enjoy them. —Babette
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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 21
October 17, 2019

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