To the dog walker along Almon Street who carries yellow or green plastic doggy bags for the poop pick-up: yes, you're doing the earth-friendly thing by bending over to bag your dog’s poop, but only to deposit the bag on the sidewalk by the telephone pole near the Rona on Almon. Please do mother earth a favour and take your poop home with you for proper disposal. Mother earth will love you, as will all of us who walk on Almon and have to observe your poop bags piling up. — Pooped-Out Doggy-Bag Observer

To the gaggle of entitled middle-aged women who took over my table at Humani-T Cafe while I was trying to read my Toni Morrison novel: At first it was just one of you who asked if she could sit at my table, since the cafe was busy. You hovered over me, and I felt too intimidated to say no. Then you brought your whole cohort and y'all sat so close to me that I felt literally pushed out. It's been a tough week and I just wanted a little joy with my book. Screw you. — Angry Reader

Dear neighbour on Fuller Terrace: It's snowing and your dog would like to come in. He has been out there barking for over 30 minutes. I am a block away and I hear him begging to come in out of the cold and wet. You do this every day. Every day you ignore your poor dog. I have had enough. Be responsible or I will call the SPCA.
—The Guy Who Is Not Joking

Why are all these dirty cops in the news lately getting suspended with pay?  You got one out there raping women, and another out there committing armed robbery, but they still get to keep their paychequ that comes out of the pockets of taxpayers! The typical police salary in Nova Scotia is 12 percent above the national average—they earn almost $70,000 a year! And they're out there raping and robbing and getting paid suspensions when they get caught. Unbelievable. Meanwhile, the rest of us honest chumps have to live off a measly 30 grand. Maybe I should try a life of crime.
—I Guess Crime Pays

To the mom with the fedora at the sports store: We asked you to take your conversation with your teenager elsewhere and your reply was, "Obviously you don't have kids." Guess what? I don't need to have kids to see that you're a spoiled brat. The store was almost empty, you could have sat anywhere to whine and complain about your stupid first-world problems. We were asking you to be a decent human being. Fuck. I wish people like you didn't have kids. And for all the moms out there, that's not an appropriate thing to say to any woman, ever.
—From Another Mom

Did we really assign a man to interview one of the most important feminist writers of our time? We're better than that, Halifax. What could have been an enlightening, relevant interview was totally cringe-worthy and embarrassing.
—Under Her Eye

Attention voters: Ask yourselves this, as you try to figure out which political party deserves your support on October 21: Will your party really, truly attempt to address child poverty in this country? Health care? Climate change? Public safety? Veterans’ mental health? Electoral reform?

Will it matter if the Conservatives form the next government, or the Liberals or the NDP? The probable answer to all these questions: Fuck no.

Anarchy isn’t the answer, of course, but electors are fooling themselves if they think the next gang to hunker down in Ottawa will manage national issues any differently than previous members of parliament. I have been voting since the 1970s. REAL change hasn’t happened in Canada yet.

Perhaps my grandchildren, when they’re old enough to vote in 16 years, will have more positive results to report.
—Hoping For A Brighter Future

Phone zombie! Why do you walk around crowded busy streets staring at your phone? Phone Zombie! You are a hazard to yourself and the general public at large. And you not only look like an insecure fool, you are an embarrassment to the human race at large. Perhaps stopping and moving out of the way of others would be a better approach to communications? It's illegal to drive and operate your phone. Why not elsewhere too? Phone zombie! You got to go!
—Enema Bandit

Nice sunny day, sitting outside a cafe on Spring Garden, was relaxing until a panhandler decided to stand in front of me and tell everyone to "have a nice day." It's like listening to a parrot. He couldn't care less if you have a nice day, he just wants your change. If people would just ignore panhandlers, there would be far fewer of them. I'm sure the tourists think the whole works of us are losers.
—Haveanicedayhaveagreatdayhavanicedayhaveagreatday

I love my community library, but the school kids are using it to make out in during the school days. Staff turn their backs—thanks! Now I genuinely hate going to the library because it's like milď soft porn with teens. Yuuuuck.
—Do Your Jobs, Librarians!!