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Men Suck

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Pixie pantyliners piss me off

Posted By on Thu, May 2, 2019 at 12:09 PM

I just spent the better part of 10 bucks (8.99) on what I thought were maxi pads, only to get to work and realize I had bought stupid panty liners. The picture on the front of the packaging looked like a puffy maxi pad and the writing on the packaging that read "daily liners" was really small. So basically, I'm sticking 5 of them together, wondering whose vag were these stupid things were even made for? A barbie doll? A pixie dust fairy?

They don't even hold a thimble full of liquid. 10 minutes into my shift, I already feel a crime scene flowing in my pants. What a waste of time and money. Stop selling these useless fucking things! And what's with 10 fucking bucks for rags? And why are women's products still made with carcenogenic materials? 10 bucks a month to get cancer. I might as well buy a pack of cigs too and call it a day. What a bunch of bullshit! If men bled, shit would be free!
- Bloody arsed, bitchy and broke

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Monday, March 4, 2019

Have some self-respect

Posted By on Mon, Mar 4, 2019 at 5:45 PM

Piss-and-shit-stained nasty ass sweet pants? Leave them at home. Man buns and flip flops? Fuck off. You're done, losers.
—Walking with coffee
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Monday, December 3, 2018

Not my first crosswalk

Posted By on Mon, Dec 3, 2018 at 3:22 PM

I looked all four ways at the intersection, because I knew the darkness would make me hard to see. You cut around the woman in front of you, stopping centimetres from me. I raised my arms. You yelled, asking if it was my first crosswalk. It wasn't—but apparently it was yours?
—Not sorry I gave you the finger
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Monday, November 5, 2018

To the white guy who yelled at me from his BMW near Dal

Posted By on Mon, Nov 5, 2018 at 12:51 PM

Go back to Oakville.
—Tired of entitled men
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Dear home wrecker

Posted By on Mon, Nov 5, 2018 at 12:26 PM

Yes, I saw the texts you sent him. You didn't care that he is a father of three with the youngest being a month old. You just wanted my husband and you didn't care about the family you were trying to destroy for your own pleasure. You messed with the wrong girl because I'm not having any of that. You even quit your job so you wouldn't see me. Guess what? You may think it's over because you blocked me on all types of social media, but you are wrong. Your loving boyfriend WILL know what a disgusting girl you really are. I will get the last say in this, NOT you. Bye, Felicia
—AM
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Monday, October 29, 2018

Saturday night strikeout

Posted By on Mon, Oct 29, 2018 at 4:23 PM

Why is it that whenever I go out to a bar, men will ignore me all night, until I walk out the door at closing time? Then, they all pounce? They even yell after you as you walk off down the street. Hello! I was in the bar all night. If you can't put in the work, buy me a drink, invite me to dance and chat me up, then you can fuck right off! You slummy, grimy, last-chance-for-romance losers need to up your game or go home and beat it.
—Still single
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Monday, October 22, 2018

Mr Ontario French Record Geek

Posted By on Mon, Oct 22, 2018 at 3:43 PM

Please stop harassing women who don't want to date you. No means no. Please leave this city. We have to avoid the North End because of you. We will continue to tell every woman not to date you. You make us feel unsafe and scared and we don't want your obsessive stalking behavior to make any other women here afraid.
—Two women who have your number and are stronger together
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Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Male tears

Posted By on Tue, Oct 16, 2018 at 5:08 PM

Girlfriend, you seriously need to pressure wash your area. It smells as if someone left an open bottle of porter and a half-eaten donair on the sidewalk for a week. In August. That may pass muster when welcoming the vernal equinox, but since it is, as you are so fond of saying "Getting, rather than giving is a feminist issue," you need to meet the rest of the world half way.
Yes, that's Tiger Balm I'm putting on my upper lip.
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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

No good men in this town

Posted By on Tue, Oct 2, 2018 at 11:45 AM

You grown men wearing skinny jeans and big bushy beards look stupid. Ain't got two nickels to rub together. All these scuzzballs not worth a damn. I'm a beautiful woman and should have a husband to take care of me. Why do I have to work these awful jobs? Why are men such pansies in peter pan pants? Where are all the well-groomed rich men who dress like men? No men know how to treat a lady anymore. It's all tinder fuckboys. No fancy dinners. No flowers, no candy, no jewlery. Just pay your own coffee at Starbucks? Really dudes? Is this the best you can do? Man up!
Still single
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Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Street harassment sucks

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2018 at 12:12 PM

You: A disgusting man leaving a north end pub after lunch on your bicycle.
Me: Also about to leave by bicycle.
I was taking off a long sleeve top and had a tank top underneath. You said “Keep going!” I responded with ”Learn some manners. It’s 2018.” instead of throwing my bike lock at your knee cap.
You biked away and yelled “Maybe you shouldn’t dress like a slut!” I wish I threw my bike lock at your knee cap. You sure deserved it. Your mom would be really disappointed in you.
Sad cyclist
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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

At least over-compensate with some style

Posted By on Tue, Sep 4, 2018 at 3:04 PM

We get it. You have a tiny dick, or you can't get it up, or what-the-fuck-ever, and having a way too loud, modded-to-hell car helps you feel better. That's fine.
But maybe you should get an actual nice car and supe it up instead of slapping a spoiler, some rims, and a woofer onto your shitty Honda? If you're gonna over-compensate, at least make yourself look good instead of looking like the dumbass bro you probably are.
—Sick of seeing shitty suped-up Civics
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Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Dear Male Runners

Posted By on Tue, Jul 31, 2018 at 12:13 PM

Hi, hey, hello: We get it. You wanna crush that cardio. And apparently you can only do this in a group of 20, roaming the sidewalk like a pack of gazelles. But WHY in the world do you have to run around those of us trying to use the sidewalk to, you know, WALK PLACES? The other evening after dark, a group of you decided to run around me from behind (I was keeping to the right side of the sidewalk so you could've easily passed me single-file), making me think I was about to get mugged or trampled or worse. It's not good enough for you to take up all the space anymore, now apparently you need to scare the bejesus outta everyone else who might want some space, too. Thanks.
—Scared lady walking home
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Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Don't call me babe.

Posted By on Tue, Jun 26, 2018 at 10:40 AM

To the two drunk jerks outside of my apartment: No, I do not have a spare smoke. No, I am not your babe. Also, you cannot hug me. It's fine if you want to drink but don't let it ruin my night by getting all touchy-feely. I am not a vending machine and do not wanted to be treated like one. Thanks for pissing me off.
—Pissed off
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Monday, June 25, 2018

Married Scum, Beat It!

Posted By on Mon, Jun 25, 2018 at 6:13 PM

As the sexy, single vixen that I am, I get approached quite often by men. One would think these eager men are single. Nope! They never are. I will ask them straight to their face, are you married? No, they say. They claim to be single, but I am a Google detective and I always find out otherwise.

They think they're being smart, but there's always a tip off: They can't give you their cell phone numer because it's a "work phone". They won't tell you where they live or invite you over. Some guys will even give you a fake name. (Hint: Search by email address.) They want to come over and not go out on a public date. When you say, "No you can't come over, not on the first date," They try to hide you away somewhere private, like a walking trail in the woods, posing as some granola nature boy. All the while trying to get some booty in the bushes. After a little tinkering around online, I always find a wife or girlfriend and kids on a Facebook page. This has happened so many times, I cannot even count.

When I find out the secret life that these men have hidden away, I usually blast the guy and then just bow out quietly. But, I'm gettin greally sick of doing that, because who is that helping? These pigs just go out and do this shit again to their wifes and to other single women. After I called one guy out, he actually begged, "Please have mercy". (Okay there, Jessie from Full House). You did not deserve mercy for me when you lied to me and tried to use me as your own personal sperm receptacle.

Did you have mercy when you wasted my time emailing me back and forth and calling me on the phone for weeks, arranging bogus dates? Where is the mercy for the beautiful wife at home taking care of your kids while you're out running around wasting single women's time? The next motherfucker that steps to me and I find out he's married, I'm gonna have NO MERCY! I'm gonna fuck up your whole entire world.

Take this as a warning, philandering married dudes of Halifax. The next time one of you approaches me and lies to my face, I will be messaging your lovely wives directly to tell them all about your cheating and lies and forwarding them the proof.

Time's up, bitches! I will no longer stay silent, letting you scurry away unscathed. Doing that would be doing a disservice to women, to myself, and to the sisterhood. I deserve to meet a single man with integrity, not married scum. I am a woman, not your whore, and I am worthy of sincerity. So is your wife. Women shouldn't have to become Google detectives, constantly doing due diligence checks. Get control of your wayward phalluses—there are human beings attached to the vaginas you hunt.

My vagina is angry! I hope your wives divorce you, buries your ass in court and rides that alimony pony for the next 18 years. Like Zsa Zsa Gabour always said, "Ladies, don't get mad, get everything!" Hit em where it hurts: Their wallets. Pay the piper! Take heed motherfuckers and go buy some lotion.
—The Sisterhood

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Thursday, May 25, 2017

Bros must go

Posted By on Thu, May 25, 2017 at 10:14 AM

I am so tired on the bro political culture in Nova Scotia. Business jocks who proclaim they know what is best for us. The great dude that will ask you to say thank you for only kicking two teeth out. Stop it. You come from privilege. You have no clue what everyday poverty or racism looks like and you sure as hell won't address it. You went to school with doctors so you get seen quickly. A food bank in your office when you can make actual policy decisions. Your social policies are nasty hazing and your sexism is profound. —Nerd Hope





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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 4
June 20, 2019

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