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THE RULES

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Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Genius at work / Government waste / Grade A Bitch / THE RULES Maybe hire a copy editor too

Posted By Team Coast on Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 9:47 AM

Hiring managers of the HRM, please run your job titles and descriptions through a spellchecker before publishing positions to job boards. It isn't clear if the title "Escavator Operator" involves construction or maintaining automatic stairs. Your "Costumer Service" role involves no dressing up, and I am concerned if your restaurant needs a "Shit Manager" (I only saw this last one once, years ago, but the memory remains).

The attention to detail you put into your opportunity to make a first impression reflects the level of respect you have for employees, and this problem isn't limited to entry level positions. The government is hiring an advisor right now to run both "econonic" and also "ecomonic" analysis, a dark sign in itself for our econony.
—Unemployed Eidtor

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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Class Warfare / Don't be a dick / Garbage people / THE RULES Landlords, get your shit together

Posted By Team Coast on Wed, Nov 27, 2019 at 3:58 PM

I’ve been seriously looking for a somewhat affordable apartment (an impossible task even going way out of my budget) and wanna say a BIG FUCK YOU to every landlord who puts up a December 1st apartment ONE OR TWOS WEEKS away from that date. You know people have to put a notice in, right? If I put in my notice and can’t find a place I’ll be fucking homeless. Also $1,000 for a BACHELOR?! I’m sure being a landlord is stressful SO DON’T BE ONE if you can’t handle it. I make $17 dollars and hour and I’ll be homeless thanks to all you greedy fucks who post apartments for rent a week before you can move in.
—I Just Want A Place To Call Home

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Thursday, November 14, 2019

Benefits / Paved paradise / Streets ahead / THE RULES Illegal parkers!

Posted By Team Coast on Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 10:20 AM

To those who work in the Agricola Street area: Please don’t park on Agricola Street! You are illegally parked and you make it difficult for clients of the small businesses on Agricola! Park in residential areas and walk a little farther! Be considerate of the community you work in!
—Small Business Trying To Make A Living!

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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Media fail / Music / THE RULES You’re a music ruiner!

Posted By Team Coast on Wed, Nov 13, 2019 at 3:14 PM

Hey, Sunday night mothership radio host: Stop talking over the goddamn music!! Fucking cacophony.
—Sore Ears

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Sunday, November 3, 2019

Creepy! / Home Style / THE RULES I thought we were moving past masturbation in public places?

Posted By Team Coast on Sun, Nov 3, 2019 at 10:47 AM

To the woman in the bathroom stall at the gym: I don't think the multi-stall bathroom (that has no entry door and is open to the whole locker room!!) the best place to get off. I hope you don't cum here often because it was pretty selfish of you to do that at the gym. I don't want to hear that or smell that when I need to piss after a workout. And neither do any of the other unsuspecting gymgoers. How about we just do that business at home?
—Just Wanted To Take A Piss

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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Don't be a dick / Get off of my lawn! / Green Halifax / THE RULES "Public" Gardens

Posted By Team Coast on Thu, Oct 10, 2019 at 2:15 PM

This public space is beautiful and useless. There are so many rules (and employees reminding you of them) that it is impossible to enjoy being there. The buses of tourists and the odd local might find it lovely to stroll the pathways for five minutes, but not me. While watching my child experience pure joy in observing a duck and walking on a small patch of grass (yup, just some GRASS), I was told that this was not an area for play and that the family lawn was on the other side of the park (where there are no ducks and only an unshaded small field). I was also told during another visit that you're not allowed to WALK your bike through the park (just in case the busloads of tourists don't have enough path space and may have to step on a few blades of grass).

Just imagine a park in the middle of the city where you can sit on the ground and picnic, play with your family, be encouraged to use alternative transportation (bikes), experience beautiful gardens, and spend some time breathing in the fresh air and feeling better about your day, without the worry of breaking the rules by being comfortable. I bet the benefits would far outweigh any damage to pristine mow jobs. Wouldn't you use that space more?
—Just A Person Trying To Enjoy My City

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Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Hurrilame / Kids these days / People are the worst / THE RULES Our hurricane-ravaged city is NOT a Kodak moment!!!

Posted By Team Coast on Wed, Sep 18, 2019 at 3:48 PM

As I stroll through our Dorian-defiled city, streets and parks chock-full of emergency workers, city employees, volunteers and scattered debris, amongst all of the people doing anything they can to help and others trying to salvage and repair what they can from the mess that's been made, there is you, having friends take your photo while you pose in front of fallen trees in our parks, or having your children stand as close as they can to the caution tape while you try to capture the perfect Insta-pic of them with the fallen crane in the background, or the guys that had their "bro" take that "sweet pic" of them while they stood in front of the vehicles that were crushed by they roof that flew off of the nearby building! None of these things are fun or cool, these are things that have caused people trouble that they now have to take care of. It's a blessing no one was seriously injured! Maybe put your camera away and see if there's anything you can do to help, rather than using this mess for photo content!
—Yes, I Am Shaking My Head At You

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Thursday, September 12, 2019

Labour pains / Music / THE RULES Idle no more ya bastards!

Posted By Team Coast on Thu, Sep 12, 2019 at 2:23 PM

I'm a recording artist trying to lay down a track, but there's been a big noisy stanky diesel truck idling outside my place for the last half hour. Turn off your engine and stop idling! Not only are you ruining the environment, you're loud rumbling truck is bugging the shit out of those of us trying to werk, bitch!
—Gangsta Rapper

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Friday, August 23, 2019

Canadiana / Point - Counterpoint / THE RULES CCP clowns

Posted By Team Coast on Fri, Aug 23, 2019 at 12:41 PM

This weekend I saw people peacefully showing support for the protests in Hong Kong. Opposite them, and outnumbering significantly, were international students trying to drown them out with patriotic Chinese songs/chants, distributing Chinese Communist Party propaganda, and physically blocking the HK supporters with Chinese flags and their bodies. I don’t know what the conversion rate is on their Social Credit Score back home for displaying CCP brainwashing here, but trying to suppress others is counter to everything Canada stands for.
—WinnieThePoo

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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Kids these days / THE RULES Stunned pedestrians

Posted By Team Coast on Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:04 PM

This is for the stunned millennials at the Brunswick/Prince Street lights. When the lights turned green for traffic and you walked in front of moving traffic without a care in the world like it was your turn? I won't say you deserve to be hit by said traffic, but maybe when you reach the other side you trip on the curb and knock out your front teeth. That would be great. The no-walk hand and white person lights aren't even close to the same. Being so unaware of your surroundings is unbelievable.
—Workday Commuter

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Friday, August 2, 2019

Enjoy the show! / Irritated Bystander / THE RULES Pride Parade bitch

Posted By Team Coast on Fri, Aug 2, 2019 at 9:29 AM

I want to thank the bitch in the pink t-shirt that ruined my Pride Parade.
I am a 66-year-old gay man and I have attended the every Pride Parade in Halifax from day one. I choose my spot in the shade and set up my chair two hours before the parade on Spring Garden Road across from the old library. You showed up just as the parade was coming and started taking pictures, blocking my view. I asked you to move, telling you I had been there for two hours before the parade started so I COULD SEE. You were very rude and didn't. Show some respect—THINK about others! Next year I hope you use your head and show respect, because I might not be around to ask you to move.
—Tom

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Wednesday, July 31, 2019

F.U. / THE RULES Alcholics

Posted By Team Coast on Wed, Jul 31, 2019 at 10:36 AM

to the lady who was comming out of the public washroom the other day go to the bars and drink at the bars i know it was you who was drinking in our public washroom the other day when i found your beer can in the washroom so stop hiding it i know your IMBARESTED ABOUT IT and i know you have a alchol problem so take your problem that you have stop hiding your beer can in your bookbag and take your alchol problem that you have and take it to the fucken bars! the same thing goes to the alcholic woman who keeps drinking in the mall washroom to take it to the bars you alcholic!
—Learn What A Bar Is!

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Sunday, June 16, 2019

Customer service / Don't be a dick / THE RULES ATTN: Door-to-door salespeople

Posted By Team Coast on Sun, Jun 16, 2019 at 4:23 PM

When someone is pointedly ignoring you while slouching home at the end of a hot day, take the hint and move on to the next rube. Whistling at me and shouting "Hey!" like I'm a fucking stray dog isn't going to convince me to buy your bullshit in the best of moods.
—No I'm not interested

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

THE RULES How to drive in traffic

Posted on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 11:34 AM

Good thing I seldom drive in this city or I might lose my mind....

Just a reminder, Haligonian commuters:

1) When the light turns green, remove your foot from the brake, and - this is the key - push the gas pedal! There is NO REASON to allow ten car lengths of empty space between you and the car in front of you in gridlock traffic. YOU and people like you make the traffic worse than it has to be.

2) When you get to the rotary, don't panic! All you need to do is wait for the first gap, and then ACCELERATE!!! See rule #1! If your style of starting is to release the brake and idle off in drive, you might struggle with the rotary! Punch it!!!!

3) Lets just stick to the rules of the road, shall we?!?! There is always some tool stopping and trying to wave me though a left turn when HE has the right of way. This just F's up the flow of traffic!! Just stick to the rules, and we'll all be better off. You aren't doing me a favour by waving me through only to be creamed by the guy in the other lane who doesn't know why the hell someone is turning left into oncoming traffic. Just stick to the rules, they exist for a reason.

---Mostly cyclist

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

THE RULES An open letter to morons

Posted on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 9:05 AM

Entertainers spend a lot of time honing their craft. They perfect it until it is ready to take onstage. When they are up there, they deserve our attention and respect - even if they're not as good as we'd like. Until you spend your time putting something together (besides Lego), I'll thank you to at least be polite to the people who have the balls to get out there to make a living as an artist. Here are a few pointers.

*Just because YOU were too cheap to pay cover, and came in halfway through the show, does not mean other people don't want to hear/see what's going on. Some of us paid money, and would actually like to feel good about having spent it.

*Think about what you want BEFORE you sidle up to the bar. Make your order as quick, and as quiet as you can - this is the polite thing to do. Some of us don't want to waste the bartender's time, and we'd rather you don't waste it either.

*You have two hands. When they are held out flat, perpendicular to the floor and brought together quickly, they make a “clapping” sound. Doing this several times in succession is called “applause”. If there is an act on stage, use this particular method of showing your appreciation. (I know, I used the words “perpendicular and “succession”, so I realize this might be a stretch for some of you, but when you’re out in an audience, just watch what other people do that makes the performer happy – you’ll get the hang of it.)

*If you can't hear the act well enough to react in the right places, you're talking too loud. When the venue you are in bursts into laughter or applause, it's probably a pretty good indication that people aren’t there just for the ambience. So shut the hell up and you might see some pretty decent entertainment.

*Cell phones are not a right, they're a privilege. They can be checked like coats if you’re too stupid to figure out that your ringers can be made SILENT. Unless you're expecting a birth or a death in the family, turn the damned thing off. And while we're on the subject, if you're expecting a birth or a death in the family, maybe a live show is not where you should be.

*If you are speaking, and you hear someone say "Ssh!", don't turn around and ask "Was that directed at me?" assume it was, and shut the hell up. Don’t wait until the performers actually have to yell into the microphone and say “if those $&*#@ would shut the $%@# up, I could continue”.

Last but not least, if you can’t manage to do any of the above things to make the entertainment scene a better place, I’m going to start indiscriminately smacking assholes at an entertainment venue near you, only I will wait until a break in the enmtertainment...

---idiots should just stop going to live entertainment venues