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THE RULES

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Vegan Apartments for Rent?! What next!?

Posted By on Tue, Jan 14, 2020 at 1:45 PM

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I just saw an apartment listing for a vegan apartment for rent. I thought it was bad telling people to smoke and not have pets, now these landlords are trying to control what you eat! Crazy shit going on in the HRM. No wonder nobody can find a place to live with lunacy like this going on. We need to enforce laws preventing landlords from acting like tyrants. This is beyond ridiculous! —Meat Eater Apartment Seeker 
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Saturday, January 11, 2020

Let’s all learn how to do our garbage in 2020

Posted By on Sat, Jan 11, 2020 at 9:50 AM

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Dear south end students: You’ve been living in what were formerly single-family homes for what, four months now? It doesn’t matter where you came from, in Halifax, there’s a law: we compost. That’s what the big green garbage can that is assigned to your house by the city is for. It’s not for your garbage and plastic crap. If you keep filling it with crap, it will keep not getting emptied on garbage day. And it will get so heavy that no one will be able to move it off the curb, where you annoyingly leave it. So, learn to compost, get the crap out of your green bin (yes, your problem!) and learn how to “do” garbage in 2020 (hint, there’s an app!). After half a year in school here, you got this! Signed, your non-rodent-loving neighbours.
Non-rodent-loving Neighbour
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Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Maybe hire a copy editor too

Posted By on Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 9:47 AM

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Hiring managers of the HRM, please run your job titles and descriptions through a spellchecker before publishing positions to job boards. It isn't clear if the title "Escavator Operator" involves construction or maintaining automatic stairs. Your "Costumer Service" role involves no dressing up, and I am concerned if your restaurant needs a "Shit Manager" (I only saw this last one once, years ago, but the memory remains).

The attention to detail you put into your opportunity to make a first impression reflects the level of respect you have for employees, and this problem isn't limited to entry level positions. The government is hiring an advisor right now to run both "econonic" and also "ecomonic" analysis, a dark sign in itself for our econony.
—Unemployed Eidtor
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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Landlords, get your shit together

Posted By on Wed, Nov 27, 2019 at 3:58 PM

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I’ve been seriously looking for a somewhat affordable apartment (an impossible task even going way out of my budget) and wanna say a BIG FUCK YOU to every landlord who puts up a December 1st apartment ONE OR TWOS WEEKS away from that date. You know people have to put a notice in, right? If I put in my notice and can’t find a place I’ll be fucking homeless. Also $1,000 for a BACHELOR?! I’m sure being a landlord is stressful SO DON’T BE ONE if you can’t handle it. I make $17 dollars and hour and I’ll be homeless thanks to all you greedy fucks who post apartments for rent a week before you can move in.
—I Just Want A Place To Call Home
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Thursday, November 14, 2019

Illegal parkers!

Posted By on Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 10:20 AM

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To those who work in the Agricola Street area: Please don’t park on Agricola Street! You are illegally parked and you make it difficult for clients of the small businesses on Agricola! Park in residential areas and walk a little farther! Be considerate of the community you work in!
—Small Business Trying To Make A Living!
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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

You’re a music ruiner!

Posted By on Wed, Nov 13, 2019 at 3:14 PM

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Hey, Sunday night mothership radio host: Stop talking over the goddamn music!! Fucking cacophony.
—Sore Ears
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Sunday, November 3, 2019

I thought we were moving past masturbation in public places?

Posted By on Sun, Nov 3, 2019 at 10:47 AM

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To the woman in the bathroom stall at the gym: I don't think the multi-stall bathroom (that has no entry door and is open to the whole locker room!!) the best place to get off. I hope you don't cum here often because it was pretty selfish of you to do that at the gym. I don't want to hear that or smell that when I need to piss after a workout. And neither do any of the other unsuspecting gymgoers. How about we just do that business at home?
—Just Wanted To Take A Piss
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Thursday, October 10, 2019

"Public" Gardens

Posted By on Thu, Oct 10, 2019 at 2:15 PM

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This public space is beautiful and useless. There are so many rules (and employees reminding you of them) that it is impossible to enjoy being there. The buses of tourists and the odd local might find it lovely to stroll the pathways for five minutes, but not me. While watching my child experience pure joy in observing a duck and walking on a small patch of grass (yup, just some GRASS), I was told that this was not an area for play and that the family lawn was on the other side of the park (where there are no ducks and only an unshaded small field). I was also told during another visit that you're not allowed to WALK your bike through the park (just in case the busloads of tourists don't have enough path space and may have to step on a few blades of grass).

Just imagine a park in the middle of the city where you can sit on the ground and picnic, play with your family, be encouraged to use alternative transportation (bikes), experience beautiful gardens, and spend some time breathing in the fresh air and feeling better about your day, without the worry of breaking the rules by being comfortable. I bet the benefits would far outweigh any damage to pristine mow jobs. Wouldn't you use that space more?
—Just A Person Trying To Enjoy My City
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Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Our hurricane-ravaged city is NOT a Kodak moment!!!

Posted By on Wed, Sep 18, 2019 at 3:48 PM

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As I stroll through our Dorian-defiled city, streets and parks chock-full of emergency workers, city employees, volunteers and scattered debris, amongst all of the people doing anything they can to help and others trying to salvage and repair what they can from the mess that's been made, there is you, having friends take your photo while you pose in front of fallen trees in our parks, or having your children stand as close as they can to the caution tape while you try to capture the perfect Insta-pic of them with the fallen crane in the background, or the guys that had their "bro" take that "sweet pic" of them while they stood in front of the vehicles that were crushed by they roof that flew off of the nearby building! None of these things are fun or cool, these are things that have caused people trouble that they now have to take care of. It's a blessing no one was seriously injured! Maybe put your camera away and see if there's anything you can do to help, rather than using this mess for photo content!
—Yes, I Am Shaking My Head At You
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Thursday, September 12, 2019

Idle no more ya bastards!

Posted By on Thu, Sep 12, 2019 at 2:23 PM

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I'm a recording artist trying to lay down a track, but there's been a big noisy stanky diesel truck idling outside my place for the last half hour. Turn off your engine and stop idling! Not only are you ruining the environment, you're loud rumbling truck is bugging the shit out of those of us trying to werk, bitch!
—Gangsta Rapper
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Friday, August 23, 2019

CCP clowns

Posted By on Fri, Aug 23, 2019 at 12:41 PM

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This weekend I saw people peacefully showing support for the protests in Hong Kong. Opposite them, and outnumbering significantly, were international students trying to drown them out with patriotic Chinese songs/chants, distributing Chinese Communist Party propaganda, and physically blocking the HK supporters with Chinese flags and their bodies. I don’t know what the conversion rate is on their Social Credit Score back home for displaying CCP brainwashing here, but trying to suppress others is counter to everything Canada stands for.
—WinnieThePoo
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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Stunned pedestrians

Posted By on Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:04 PM

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This is for the stunned millennials at the Brunswick/Prince Street lights. When the lights turned green for traffic and you walked in front of moving traffic without a care in the world like it was your turn? I won't say you deserve to be hit by said traffic, but maybe when you reach the other side you trip on the curb and knock out your front teeth. That would be great. The no-walk hand and white person lights aren't even close to the same. Being so unaware of your surroundings is unbelievable.
—Workday Commuter
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Friday, August 2, 2019

Pride Parade bitch

Posted By on Fri, Aug 2, 2019 at 9:29 AM

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I want to thank the bitch in the pink t-shirt that ruined my Pride Parade.
I am a 66-year-old gay man and I have attended the every Pride Parade in Halifax from day one. I choose my spot in the shade and set up my chair two hours before the parade on Spring Garden Road across from the old library. You showed up just as the parade was coming and started taking pictures, blocking my view. I asked you to move, telling you I had been there for two hours before the parade started so I COULD SEE. You were very rude and didn't. Show some respect—THINK about others! Next year I hope you use your head and show respect, because I might not be around to ask you to move.
—Tom
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Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Alcholics

Posted By on Wed, Jul 31, 2019 at 10:36 AM

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to the lady who was comming out of the public washroom the other day go to the bars and drink at the bars i know it was you who was drinking in our public washroom the other day when i found your beer can in the washroom so stop hiding it i know your IMBARESTED ABOUT IT and i know you have a alchol problem so take your problem that you have stop hiding your beer can in your bookbag and take your alchol problem that you have and take it to the fucken bars! the same thing goes to the alcholic woman who keeps drinking in the mall washroom to take it to the bars you alcholic!
—Learn What A Bar Is!
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Sunday, June 16, 2019

ATTN: Door-to-door salespeople

Posted By on Sun, Jun 16, 2019 at 4:23 PM

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When someone is pointedly ignoring you while slouching home at the end of a hot day, take the hint and move on to the next rube. Whistling at me and shouting "Hey!" like I'm a fucking stray dog isn't going to convince me to buy your bullshit in the best of moods.
—No I'm not interested
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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 43
March 19, 2020

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