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THE RULES

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Stunned pedestrians

Posted By on Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:04 PM

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This is for the stunned millennials at the Brunswick/Prince Street lights. When the lights turned green for traffic and you walked in front of moving traffic without a care in the world like it was your turn? I won't say you deserve to be hit by said traffic, but maybe when you reach the other side you trip on the curb and knock out your front teeth. That would be great. The no-walk hand and white person lights aren't even close to the same. Being so unaware of your surroundings is unbelievable.
—Workday Commuter
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Friday, August 2, 2019

Pride Parade bitch

Posted By on Fri, Aug 2, 2019 at 9:29 AM

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I want to thank the bitch in the pink t-shirt that ruined my Pride Parade.
I am a 66-year-old gay man and I have attended the every Pride Parade in Halifax from day one. I choose my spot in the shade and set up my chair two hours before the parade on Spring Garden Road across from the old library. You showed up just as the parade was coming and started taking pictures, blocking my view. I asked you to move, telling you I had been there for two hours before the parade started so I COULD SEE. You were very rude and didn't. Show some respect—THINK about others! Next year I hope you use your head and show respect, because I might not be around to ask you to move.
—Tom
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Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Alcholics

Posted By on Wed, Jul 31, 2019 at 10:36 AM

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to the lady who was comming out of the public washroom the other day go to the bars and drink at the bars i know it was you who was drinking in our public washroom the other day when i found your beer can in the washroom so stop hiding it i know your IMBARESTED ABOUT IT and i know you have a alchol problem so take your problem that you have stop hiding your beer can in your bookbag and take your alchol problem that you have and take it to the fucken bars! the same thing goes to the alcholic woman who keeps drinking in the mall washroom to take it to the bars you alcholic!
—Learn What A Bar Is!
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Sunday, June 16, 2019

ATTN: Door-to-door salespeople

Posted By on Sun, Jun 16, 2019 at 4:23 PM

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When someone is pointedly ignoring you while slouching home at the end of a hot day, take the hint and move on to the next rube. Whistling at me and shouting "Hey!" like I'm a fucking stray dog isn't going to convince me to buy your bullshit in the best of moods.
—No I'm not interested
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

How to drive in traffic

Posted on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 11:34 AM

Good thing I seldom drive in this city or I might lose my mind....

Just a reminder, Haligonian commuters:

1) When the light turns green, remove your foot from the brake, and - this is the key - push the gas pedal! There is NO REASON to allow ten car lengths of empty space between you and the car in front of you in gridlock traffic. YOU and people like you make the traffic worse than it has to be.

2) When you get to the rotary, don't panic! All you need to do is wait for the first gap, and then ACCELERATE!!! See rule #1! If your style of starting is to release the brake and idle off in drive, you might struggle with the rotary! Punch it!!!!

3) Lets just stick to the rules of the road, shall we?!?! There is always some tool stopping and trying to wave me though a left turn when HE has the right of way. This just F's up the flow of traffic!! Just stick to the rules, and we'll all be better off. You aren't doing me a favour by waving me through only to be creamed by the guy in the other lane who doesn't know why the hell someone is turning left into oncoming traffic. Just stick to the rules, they exist for a reason.

---Mostly cyclist
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

An open letter to morons

Posted on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 9:05 AM

Entertainers spend a lot of time honing their craft. They perfect it until it is ready to take onstage. When they are up there, they deserve our attention and respect - even if they're not as good as we'd like. Until you spend your time putting something together (besides Lego), I'll thank you to at least be polite to the people who have the balls to get out there to make a living as an artist. Here are a few pointers.

*Just because YOU were too cheap to pay cover, and came in halfway through the show, does not mean other people don't want to hear/see what's going on. Some of us paid money, and would actually like to feel good about having spent it.

*Think about what you want BEFORE you sidle up to the bar. Make your order as quick, and as quiet as you can - this is the polite thing to do. Some of us don't want to waste the bartender's time, and we'd rather you don't waste it either.

*You have two hands. When they are held out flat, perpendicular to the floor and brought together quickly, they make a “clapping” sound. Doing this several times in succession is called “applause”. If there is an act on stage, use this particular method of showing your appreciation. (I know, I used the words “perpendicular and “succession”, so I realize this might be a stretch for some of you, but when you’re out in an audience, just watch what other people do that makes the performer happy – you’ll get the hang of it.)

*If you can't hear the act well enough to react in the right places, you're talking too loud. When the venue you are in bursts into laughter or applause, it's probably a pretty good indication that people aren’t there just for the ambience. So shut the hell up and you might see some pretty decent entertainment.

*Cell phones are not a right, they're a privilege. They can be checked like coats if you’re too stupid to figure out that your ringers can be made SILENT. Unless you're expecting a birth or a death in the family, turn the damned thing off. And while we're on the subject, if you're expecting a birth or a death in the family, maybe a live show is not where you should be.

*If you are speaking, and you hear someone say "Ssh!", don't turn around and ask "Was that directed at me?" assume it was, and shut the hell up. Don’t wait until the performers actually have to yell into the microphone and say “if those $&*#@ would shut the $%@# up, I could continue”.

Last but not least, if you can’t manage to do any of the above things to make the entertainment scene a better place, I’m going to start indiscriminately smacking assholes at an entertainment venue near you, only I will wait until a break in the enmtertainment...

---idiots should just stop going to live entertainment venues
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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 12
August 15, 2019

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