Where I am now

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Every day, I wake up, and I know that you're not there. And you never will be again. That you're somewhere else, with someone else, and I can't even know if you're happy or not. I'm sure you are. You have given me so many reasons to find a way to be a better person. When I need to know what I should do, I think of what you would say and the way you would react. Our time probably won't amount to much to you in the future, I know that. But to me, it has been the single most traumatic, beautiful and defining period of my life. I'm so glad you're off giving the gift of your talent to the world, it can be such a dark place, and maybe hearing you play will make it brighter for someone who needs it. I wish I could hear it again...I love you. I hope one day I can make you proud again. —Your human furnace

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