to the self check-out master

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What's the best part about doing your groceries late at night at the North Street grocery store (besides generally avoiding most other humans)? THE SELF-CHECKOUT MASTER. Everyone rants about the self-checkout machines eliminating jobs, but these machines have clearly allowed the guy that often works the night shift overseeing the machines to RISE TO THE PEAK OF HIS ART. Having trouble scanning something? Before you even look up and around, he's at your side MANUALLY ENTERING THE CODE FROM MEMORY. Are you trying to scan one of the 5 items in all of the store that doesn't have a bar code? Don't worry, he's already rung it through for you—once again, with the code memorized. Coupon not working? Discount not being applied? Can't find the code for an obscure type of produce? Lights flashing and the machine beeping? He materializes out of thin air, artfully scans his pass and with a flurry of activity on the keypad, takes care of it and then disappears with a wink back to his podium. WE SALUTE YOU, OH SELF-CHECKOUT MASTER.
—Late-night grocery buyer

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