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Flack Attack

Friday, July 3, 2015

All of June’s stupidest press releases

Dog DNA testing, Halifax parking and what the hell's a Muskoka chair?

Posted By on Fri, Jul 3, 2015 at 4:00 AM

DNA tests confirm this is a bulldog.
  • DNA tests confirm this is a bulldog.

Summer is when brands hit the beach. June is the perfect month to scare kids about outdoor safety, or barf out the latest fetishization of Canadian culture. For example, here’s a small sampling of some of our favourite weird press releases from the past four weeks. Please enjoy responsibly, as we all try to come to terms with #Bennifer2.

Operation Lifesaver urges Canadians not to be killed by a train this summer
From Operation Lifesaver—a national public-rail safety program sponsored by Transport Canada—comes summer’s hottest webcomic: “The Misadventures of Bob.” Follow along with Bob “as he embarks on warm weather adventures the wrong way—in the path of an oncoming train.”

There’s nothing funny about being hit by a train, but these comics are, well, charmingly blunt. Aside from watching Bob get repeatedly pancaked, OL will be launching “witty and engaging rail safety DOs and DON’Ts” all summer long.



Is your touch-screen making you touch-phobic?
“In a society where we spend more time touching our phone than any living being, there is a growing movement popularizing Cuddling as a social activity.”

And so comes CuddleUp, a sort of Tinder for connecting cuddles with…I’m so sorry…“cuddees.”

“Facebook will never touch you back, you need another person for that.” CuddleUp’s co-founder Francis Santos founded the app after wondering why using technology to arrange casual sexual encounters was more commonplace than cuddling with some random dude.

“North America’s hook-up culture is driven by a need for closeness, much of which may be stemming from touch deprivation in the first place,” Santos writes, grossly overthinking why people hook up. Fingers crossed potential cuddle-ups don’t devolve into the ending from The Intensive Care Unit.

“It’s easy to immediately dismiss the concept as weird, but is it really?” Touché, CuddleUp.


Training Millennials to sell to Boomers
“Bridging the generational gap is the best way a Millennial employee can succeed in an ever-changing business landscape. By understanding and acknowledging the differences between a Gen-X, Gen-Y and Baby Boomer customer, the framework is set for smoother customer interactions and increased sales.”


Bizarre job interview locations: Survey reveals strangest places job seekers have met with employers
In the bathroom; while riding elevators; at the gym; in parking lots like they’re Deep Throat; at the library; at bars or restaurants; while travelling via plane or car; and the sinister-sounding “in a field.”


Who’s your doggy?
“That’s the question that DNA My Dog, a genetic lab specializing in Canine DNA breed determination analysis, will answer.”

The mail-away, cheek-swap dog DNA test could presumably be of service for anticipating future health problems in your pet, and also is great news for dog racists. Only $60, too.


Rob Ford’s anti-cancer song hits #1 on iTunes chart
Remember how Rob Ford’s a racist, sexist, liar who refused all calls to step down after it became clear he was addicted to illegal drugs, had misused city resources and threatened to kill someone? He’s funny on Jimmy Kimmel though. That’s all that matters. Maybe he can date Minka Kelly next.


Participate in the Because I am a Girl lemon challenge
Show your support for women by sucking on a lemon, you dummy. Plan Canada’s “Because I am a Girl” initiative wants lemon challenge to be the new ice bucket challenge. Global discrimination against girls will end as a result. It’s cloying—the way of all charitable social media campaigns these days—but funds raised from donations and pink lemonade stands (yes, really) will be used on projects to provide clean water, food, scholarships and education to young girls around the world.


True patriot texting: Tim Hortons to release Canadian "EHmoji" keyboard for Canada Day
Burger King’s Canadian subsidiary has already received enough free press for its shameless pandering to nationalistic pride. But more importantly: the fuck’s a “Muskoka” chair? Adirondack’s not good enough for you, “parts of Ontario?”


Molson Canadian's latest beer fridge opens when “I am Canadian” is spoken in six different languages
"Great technology is only as powerful as the creative idea that powers it," says fridge speech developer, and creative agency lead of Google Canada, Adam Green without even a hint of irony.



Fun in the sun? Sunburns trump drowning as top parental concern this summer
“While 96 percent of Canadian parents agree that water safety is important, drowning ranks below sunburns and too much time indoors on their list of kid-related worries this summer.” RBC Insurance wants you to know they care.


Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner divorcing after 10 years of marriage—NYC matrimonial law attorney available for interviews
We get emails from this NY divorce law firm all the time (as does every other media outlet across North America, I imagine). Kinda heartwarming to see a big story finally land in their wheelhouse. Way to seize the moment.


Celebrate Halifax—Canada’s 2015 Natural Parking System capital
Halifax has been named Canada’s natural parking system capital by the “NPS Awards Committee” for our city’s “expansive support of out-of-doors parking and strong commitment to car culture.”

It’s a joke. Or, I’m pretty sure it is. A joke that lashes HRM for the planned but un-built buildings dotting the core, the lack of affordable housing options and the north end’s new roundabouts.

Other points aside, those new roundabouts are fantastic. The Cunard Street one is easier to walk, drive and bike through. I anticipate the soon-to-be-online Cogswell roundabout will be the same.

In any case, “contest coordinator” Peggy Cameron is looking for votes on your #bestparkinglotHFX. The view from Scotia Square’s lot is pretty great, for what that’s worth.

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Friday, May 8, 2015

Nova Scotia Tourism Agency chairman is now a tourist

Promises to visit.

Posted By on Fri, May 8, 2015 at 2:54 PM

Let’s be honest, we’d all move to Ontario if we could. It’s just strange to see the board chair for the province’s newly-created Tourism Agency moving with his family back to Upper Canada.

As reports Jean Laroche at the CBC, Cabot Links owner Ben Cowan-Dewar plans to attend meetings “every month or two.” Board chairs, he says, don’t oversee day-to-day operations anyhow.

Cowan-Dewar tells the Herald’s Michael Gorman that he and his family are moving to Toronto this fall to be closer to other family members, while still residing part of the year in Inverness.

The optics are bad, of course. But crazy as this sounds, what if it works out in our favour? Instead of booking dozens of interest-building trips and billing the province, Cowan-Dewar can just tell all his rich Ontario drinking buddies to come down for a weekend. Maybe that's the key to our tourism future—undercover ex-pats dragging dollars towards our shores one middle-age bachelor party at a time. After all, it's the sort of informal approach that originally got Cowan-Dewar interested in his Inverness lands.

Golf Tripper: Exactly how did you originally find the site for Cabot Links and what were the early steps you took to get started on the project?

BCD: I heard about the land while having dinner with the Minister of Tourism, who later went on to become the Premier, for the province of Nova Scotia in 2004.

It's all who you know. Besides, it’s not like Cowan-Dewar is in charge of operations for the province’s biggest municipality or anything.

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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

All of April’s stupidest press releases

Cat-chella festival, e-cigs and FOMO

Posted By on Wed, May 6, 2015 at 3:13 PM


We get a lot of press releases during our day. Some of them are useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, this past month’s weirdest releases.

Cat-chella Festival: Meow Mix's Kitty Girl Group
Releases Hit Song!

“The new song combines three of the world's most powerful artistic forces: Girl Power, Beyonce-style cat-titude, and viral Internet cats.”

Smokers who also use E-Cigarettes still smoke on average 13 cigarettes per day
“Almost half (45%) of smokers surveyed said nothing can replace the feeling of real tobacco. Furthermore, 4 in 10 said they only use e-cigarettes in places where they can't smoke, but need to.”

Hottest selling ecigarette
“Hello My dear friend. How's your ecig business? Did you get all the hottest products in stock?”

Is Your Company Secretly Failing at Employee Recognition?
“Three in 10 Workers Think Their Employer Is Ineffective at Showing Appreciation to Staff”

It Takes Veggie Balls to Try Something New
“On April 27th IKEA Canada will start selling a vegan friendly veggie ball in all its restaurants…The new veggie ball, GRÖNSAKSBULLAR, is a good alternative to the loved meatball, which was re-launched in 2014 with a new hormone and antibiotic free recipe.”

"IKEA’s new veggie balls with tomato and spinach sauce, bulgur and steamed broccoli." - CNW GROUP/IKEA CANADA
  • "IKEA’s new veggie balls with tomato and spinach sauce, bulgur and steamed broccoli."
  • CNW Group/IKEA Canada

Confirm your email subscription
“Hi, just a reminder that you're receiving this email because you have expressed an interest in Livestock Marketers of Saskatchewan.”

You risk experiencing FOMO by not reading this email
“While many think FOMO is a problem confined specifically to social-media obsessed millennials, BDO Canada Ltd’s debt help experts are seeing this issue also impact boomers, who are being called on to finance the FOMO of their adult children, and increasingly seniors, who experience their own FOMO desires by seeking to fulfill their bucket lists despite living longer and facing higher cost of living demands.”

Tech Leaders See Wearables Working in the Workplace
"It will be interesting to see the impact that wearable technologies have on the workplace, if and when they do make it into the fold." —Deborah Bottineau, senior regional manager of Robert Half Technology.

New stamps aim to promote awareness of responsible pet ownership
“The animals in the bright, lighthearted artwork all show warmth and express personality in scenes where they are cared for responsibly.”

  • Canada Post

Saying 'I do' to Being a Bridesmaid or Groomsman? Wedding Budgeting Isn't Just For the Bride and Groom
“A recent TD survey found that almost 40 per cent of Millennial and Gen X Canadians who have been in a wedding party say they felt pressured to spend more than they could afford.”

Help Us Find Canada's Top Bacon Lover!
“The successful candidate will become Canada's foremost bacon ambassador. As the Marketing Manager, Bacon, he or she will provide expert knowledge of brand, consumer interactions, product innovation, channel development and communications campaigns for a diverse and innovative bacon pipeline”

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Flack attack: The first USB-powered cat bed

Plus, egg safety this Easter and "the OkCupid of student loans."

Posted By on Wed, Apr 1, 2015 at 1:36 PM

click image screen_shot_2015-04-01_at_1.30.37_pm.png

We get a lot of press releases during our day. Some of them are useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, March's weirdest releases.

Meow Mix Launches World's First USB-Powered Cat Bed
“A product that prevents your cat from sitting on your actual keyboard by instead providing an alternate keyboard that plugs into your computer and gets warmer the more you type.”

click image screen_shot_2015-04-01_at_1.30.16_pm.png

#Jealous? New report shows Canadian millennials are living large due to FOMO
“Nearly two-thirds (64 percent) of Canadians admit to experiencing FOMO, with people between ages 18 and 30 in particular feeling the desire to 'live large.'”

(no subject)
“I left the subject line blank deliberately. It's a bold move, I know, but at Achieve Lending we don't believe in following convention. I also wanted to get your attention to tell you about our site, which hosts the first ever search engine for education loans. Fusion recently called us the “OkCupid of Student Loans.”

Doors Open to Canadian Beef Centre of Excellence
“This state-of-the-art facility will provide space and resources to help the industry promote new beef products...while creating an emotional affinity for the product and the Canadian beef industry.”

Canadian Cheese Grand Prix 2015 finalists revealed
“The jury members had the envious challenge of tasting 268 cheeses and naming three finalists in each category...Each cheese was carefully observed, touched, smelled and tasted by jury members.”

Construction guru Mike Holmes joins SigmaDek to unveil its revolutionary patio deck system
“It's nothing less than a paradigm shift in patio deck construction and materials."


Don Cherry Announces the Launch of Don Cherry's Pet Rescue Foundation
“Photos and Interviews during the event.”

The Healing Harp:  From Ancient Myth to Modern Science
“Renowned harp therapist presents workshops/talk.”

Joe Fresh Establishes the Joe Fresh Centre for Fashion Innovation
“The goal of the Joe Fresh Centre for Fashion Innovation is to foster a 360-degree approach to mentorship that will best position young entrepreneurs for real world success.”

The World's 1st & Only Gay Object: The Gay Sweater
"Knit from the hair of hundreds of LGBT donors, #TheGaySweater is an icon that will remind people how ridiculous it is to call something 'gay', and that we shouldn't be calling things 'gay' unless they truly are."

click image screen_shot_2015-04-01_at_1.33.47_pm.png

A Refreshing New Look for Seagram Wildberry, Canada's Original Cooler
“The unwavering taste of Seagram Wildberry remains as true as the pure spring water and 100% all-natural flavours used to craft this premium cooler. Summer wouldn't be summer without it.”

Five Money Mistakes That Could Wreck Your Second Marriage
“For clients who actively manage their investment accounts, Newman has one piece of advice for when they remarry: stop trading, immediately.”

Reminding Canadians of Egg Safety this Easter
“If you're having an Easter egg hunt, carefully consider where you hide your eggs. Avoid areas where the eggs might come into contact with pets, wild animals, birds, insects or chemicals.”

Haunted Attraction Owners Must Adopt Year-Round Social Media Strategy  
“Easter is here, but Halloween's coming shadow looms large for thousands of haunted houses, hayrides and other Halloween-related businesses. One expert says that amidst building props, devising new scares and fretting fire codes, haunted attraction owners are neglecting a powerful tool for success: social media.”

April Fools' Day Guidelines
“Please let our News Centre team know in advance if you are planning to issue a joke release on April Fools' Day.”

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Friday, February 27, 2015

Flack attack: Rod Stewart is Coming to Cavendish!

Plus, everyone is looking for UFOs in the wrong place.

Posted By on Fri, Feb 27, 2015 at 3:34 PM

  • Whitecap Entertainment

We get a lot of press releases during our day. Some of them are useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, February's weirdest releases.

Action heats up in Canadian bedrooms as the temperature drops
“Hockey isn't the only activity that keeps Canadians busy in the winter.  More than half of Canadians (56 percent) say they have more sex in the winter months, because it is a great way to stay warm. This is according to the Schick® Hydro Silk TrimStyle® Report, the definitive look at Canadians' sexual habits.”


Everyone is Looking for UFOs in the Wrong Place
“Starrgram 39 of The Revelatorium reveals that true UFOS are fifth dimensional Radionnic ships of light sitting in Earth’s fifth dimension. A vast fleet of the Radionnic ships sit in the Kuiper Belt outside the orbit of Pluto. At any given time thousands of the ships will teleport into Earth’s lower ionic atmosphere at the fifth dimensional level.”

Reasons Why You Want to Be Divorcing a Happier Spouse

IBC Top 10: Tips to avoid slips, trips and falls
“Avoid walking with your hands in your pockets. Keeping your hands free helps with balance.”

Heh, East Coast, Western Canadians want their winters back
“Our ski hills are going through the worst winter in at least a decade.”

Weber Q Line Changes The Way You See Grilling
“According to the recent Weber Canadian GrillWatch™ Survey, 75 percent of grillers agree that barbecuing is fun so they will be happy to know that the Weber Q 1200 gas grill now comes in six fun colours! Available in Orange, Fuchsia, Green, Purple, Blue, and Black”


German prosecutor punished Norwegian for selling whale meat
“ Norwegian tourist company Fjord Norge”

Chilly Gonzales premieres "Freudian Slippers"
“He contemplates part one asking ‘How does one attempt to convey the unknown workings of the brain? With surrealist techniques like the violin "doppelgängers"’? With stumbling, mumbling rhythms? With chorale-like interruptions that try to impose order? It's all in vain, hope slips away.’ For part two he invites listeners to ‘rap on it, you'll see, it works.’”

America’s most prominent Muslim says The Atlantic is doing PR for ISIS

School Is Back in Session Thanks To Dr Pepper
“Five ‘One-of-a-Kind’ Canadians recently received the surprise of their lives when Dr Pepper Canada presented them with a $20,000 cheque to help make their educational dreams come true.”

Media Advisory—Young Canadian farmers to be in Ottawa for annual conference

Rod Stewart is Coming to Cavendish!
“The two times Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee and Grammy Living Legend Rod Stewart, is rare, a full and uniquely talented performer”

Diabetes: Let colour come in!
“montméd launches the first range of colored pen needles, specifically designed for young people with diabetes.”


The Lobster Council of Canada continues to build momentum for Canadian lobster by creating a Generic Marketing Strategy
“Export data shows that sales to China have grown over 400 percent in the past five years.”

Unique collaboration to combat deadly disease found in pigs
“Porcine Epidemic Diarrhea first appeared in the United States in April 2013 and by January of 2014 it has appeared in Canada. Since it was first discovered in the U.S., at least eight million pigs have died. So far more than 70 cases have been reported in Canada.”

6 Ways to Cover Your SaaS in 2015
“Start the year off right by making sure your SaaS applications are negotiated, deployed and being used correctly.”

Rare Pearl Found in Seafood Stew to Feature at Kaminski Auctions Spring Estate Auction


Corporate Knights seeks nominations for Canada's Greenest Chief Executive Award
“Do you know a chief executive officer of a major Canadian corporation who excels at earning profits while preserving the planet?”

May I call you on this story idea?
"The National Community Pharmacist Association estimates that 200 million pounds of medicines are thrown away a year.  But where is this unused medicine going?  How do people properly dispose of their medications?  Do they just keep them in their cabinets?  Do they flush them down the toilet or toss them in the trash?  The answer to all of this is NO because there is a great danger to doing any of the above, medicine left in cabinets can lead to overdose or misuse and meds tossed in trash or toilet can lead to disruptions in our environment.  Pill Terminator IS the answer.  The Pill Terminator is a new product that is available and is protecting teenagers, children, pets and the environment from the harsh effects of consuming medications, expired pills or improperly disposing prescription medicines. The Pill Terminator is easily available online and only costs $12.95 each and can eliminate up to 300 pills at a time. The Pill Terminator serves to reduce this risk by rendering the prescription drugs unpalatable and the pills, syrup, capsules or suspension can be safely discarded in the household trash. By simply depositing the unwanted medicine, adding water and shaking, you will safely and effectively destroy the medication."

Rubio alert: You better believe it—he said this
“Floridians are sick of Marco Rubio's double talk!”

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Friday, January 30, 2015

Flack Attack: What a messy desk says about you

Plus, are your pets suffering in silence?

Posted By on Fri, Jan 30, 2015 at 4:00 PM

  • CNW Group/OfficeTeam

We get a lot of press releases during our day. Some of them are useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, this past month’s weirdest releases.

Bending Over Backwards Is For Gymnasts—PsychTests’ Study Reveals Why Being Too Nice Is A Disadvantage
“What would Mr. Rogers do if the people who lived next door were partying into the wee hours of the morning? Or left their dog outside, barking endlessly?  Chances are that he would be a nice person and accommodate them. There is also a good chance, according to researchers at PsychTests, that his continuously acquiescing nature will exacerbate the issue and, in fact, potentially make him unhappy.”

For Immediate Release: Snowshoe hikes popular winter activity
“‘There’s just something about snowshoeing that brings people out,’ says Janet Barlow, Communications Coordinator with Hike Nova Scotia.”

The self-titled second album from that zany Al Grantham
“Jimmy from the block, former porn stars, videogame addiction, identity confusion, yard sales, middle-class suburban delusion, box-stores, blind love, bravery, drunk romance, drunk injustice, the ruling elite, right, wrong, wrong rights and right wrongs. Al Grantham has some stories to tell.”

“The general public's understanding of ancient America is a battle of paradigms. Paradigms are the concepts carried in everybody's mind. One trait of paradigms is that once they are placed in a head they cannot be easily removed! The general public knows in their head the paradigm that Columbus was the first European to discover a pristine wilderness in America…The educators tell the school kids that the "Vikings came to L'anse Aux Meadows, but they only stayed a few years and left without making an impact on America." Because they teach over 3 million school kids per year, the educators are winning the paradigm battle.”

Here come the household robots!
“With health care costs rising and the seniors population increasing, efforts are being made all over the world to develop safe, efficient robot companions to help seniors live independantly”

Afraid To Admit That You Don’t Understand Social Media?
‘Imagine walking into a networking party at a hotel. People are roaming around, engaging with folks they know and being introduced to those they don’t know. They’re talking about the economy, the weather, the price of milk. You get into a nice chat with someone and he asks what you do for a living. If it were me, I’d say, “I’ve got a national PR company that specializes in publicity.” The person might say, “Wow, I’ve got a friend interested in that. Let me introduce you!”’

Turkish Airlines Asks Canadians "Who's Your VIP?”
“This will be Turkish Airlines' first Canadian contest since beginning service into Canada in 2009.”

What a Messy Desk Says About You
“Overaccessorizing. It's generally fine to show some personality with your workspace decorations, but leave your teddy bear collection and gigantic cat posters at home.”

buy green banana peeling patent techology
“We glad to get your information posted on google website , we would like to take this opportunity to introduce our company and products with the hope that we may work together in future.”

Middle to Millionaire
“Winning at the game of life and achieving financial freedom is not as easy as winning at the board game version. We’re talking about real life. And guess what? There are no time-outs or shortcuts.”

Canadian Energy Drink Company's Growth On Fire, No Dragons Required
“In 2013, Bomb Energy Drink received Government approval to sell the drink in cans, a highly requested format”

Celebrate Valentine’s Day with a Heart-Shaped Pizza at Boston Pizza
“This Valentine’s Day, all you need is love – and pizza”

Why Bad Mouthing Your Spouse On Twitter & Facebook During Divorce Is A Bad Idea - Divorce Attorney Available
“Divorce attorney Jacqueline Newman, a partner at Berkman, Bottger, Newman & Rodd in New York City, advises clients not to post anything on Facebook that they would not want the other side to read or see.”

ICA and Ipsos Reid Announce Top 10 Most Influential Brands in Canada
[Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Apple, YouTube, Walmart, Visa, Tim Hortons, Samsung, President’s Choice]
"What is a brand?" asked Mr. Levy. "Brands have influence and in many cases, that influence has changed our world.”’

European Cities Charming Canadian Travellers
"European cities have always had a strong appeal among Canadians who appreciate how easy it is to travel between countries.”

Is your pet suffering in silence?
‘”Just as in people, dental disease can be very painful," says Dr. Huffman. "However, pets may not show obvious signs of discomfort because these are gradual changes and most cats and dogs are also very good at hiding their pain.”’

Remember Jeb Bush? Remember how he failed us for 8 years as Governor of Florida?
“Now, he wants to run for president. Don’t worry, we’re groaning too.”

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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Telus also offers support for mental health

Cellular provider gives back, not just for attention.

Posted By on Wed, Jan 28, 2015 at 11:13 AM


Many companies talk about mental health, but did you know Telus puts its money where its global telecommunications leader of a mouth is?

Last year, Telus—home of Canada’s most reliable 4G mobile network—donated (in part) $450,000 of funding to mental health initiative The Sandbox Project.

“TELUS is committed to supporting the health and wellbeing of children and youth and fully supports the acceleration of healthcare transformation through the important work and research of partners like The Sandbox Project,” said Paul Lepage, president, TELUS Health in a press release. “Over the past 13 years, TELUS has contributed more than $100 million in funding to organizations focused on improving the health and well-being of the communities where we live, work and serve.”

Canada’s fastest-growing national telecommunications company, Telus looks after its nearly 30,000 employees through company “wellness” teams and supportive managers.

Telus has $11.8 billion of annual revenue and 13.5 million customer connections, including 8.0 million wireless subscribers, 3.2 million wireline network access lines, 1.45 million Internet subscribers and 888,000 TELUS TV customers.

Often invisible, mental illness is one of the most pervasive health issues in the country with far-reaching consequences for Canadians. One in five people will experience a form of mental illness at some point in their lives, and most will be reluctant to talk to a co-worker, friend or family member about their struggle. Eliminating the stigma around mental illness, is an important step we can all take regardless of who’s funding it.

Other companies are also raising awareness.

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Thursday, January 1, 2015

Flack attack: Is Russia The Next Up-and-Coming EDM Scene?

All of December’s strangest press releases.

Posted By on Thu, Jan 1, 2015 at 4:00 AM

Actor Vincent D'Onofrio sings over manic compositions comprised from the long rambling text messages he would send to fellow cast members of an off-Broadway play.
  • Actor Vincent D'Onofrio sings over manic compositions comprised from the long rambling text messages he would send to fellow cast members of an off-Broadway play.

We get a lot of press releases during our day. Some of them are useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, this past month’s weirdest releases.

3 gifts that help #SaveTheBees

TSN’s James Duthie sports chicken suit for charity
“Not everyone has the pluck to step into a chicken suit and make a charitable pitch.”

Coverage for Actor Vincent D'Onofrio's "I'm A Hamster" Single
”I have the first single from actor Vincent D'Onofrio's debut punk spoken word project for you.”

Kardashians' stars Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner finalize divorce terms —Interviews Available with NYC Divorce Attorney

Turtles vs. Turbines case reaches Court of Appeal Monday

Enough with the public art displays already by Allan Bonner
“We have other, more serious, needs in our cities”

Canadian fitness professionals predict Top 10 Most Effective Fitness Trends for 2014
“4. Working out with certified and experienced fitness professionals.”

Tour a Burlington home retrofitted to reduce the risk of basement flooding

Ottawa Press Conference: “A Helpful Hand to Families of 9/11 Victims”
“Green Party Leader Elizabeth May presented a petition calling for a Parliamentary review of new forensic evidence regarding the events of September 11, 2001.”

The Sea School Sail'ebrating 20 years!

Canadians Pumped for CORNER GAS: THE MOVIE as 1.84 Million Viewers Fill Up on CTV and CTV Two
“#CornerGasMovie trended worldwide on Twitter during the broadcast and in Canada into the morning”

Scary Santa Photobooth now open for fearless participants

"Open Media Policy” at Future Shop stores across Canada for Boxing Day
”Media are welcome to visit their local Future Shop store without prior approval from head office, making capturing content and footage for Boxing Day stories quick and easy.

“‘Twas the night of the holiday special, when all through the galley,
All the home cooks were preparing, there was no time to dally.
The timer was set, the competition start growing near,
As media waited patiently to screen the premiere.”

Winter has nothing on this 62-year-old Canadian Man

The holiday office party is back

Is Russia The Next Up-and-Coming EDM Scene?

Winner Winner Lobstah Dinner: Why we gave away an iPhone 6 for Christmas 2014
“Imagine every Lobster industry participant (+35,000) on top of their family members, with an iPhone in hand.”

“The Story Behind the Accelerating Life” illuminates free men.
“The contents of this illuminating read were taken from a strange dream the author had.”


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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Halifax Public Libraries forgiving all outstanding fines

Damn the Library for being nice.

Posted By on Tue, Dec 9, 2014 at 8:57 PM

Look at this magnificent bastard.
  • Look at this magnificent bastard.

As if everyone wasn’t already sickeningly in love with the new Halifax Central Library, they’ve gone and announced that for the rest of December any outstanding fines from overdue items will be cleared.

Starting this Saturday, December 13, anyone with a library card can visit any public library and erase their debt. It’s part of what Halifax Public Libraries is calling “Welcome Back to the Library Days.”

“As we increase our collection for Halifax Central Library, we want to make sure that all citizens have access to it,” CEO and chief librarian Åsa Kachan says in a release. “It is a festive time with the opening of Central Library and the holidays, and we want everyone from Sheet Harbour to Hubbards to feel a part of the excitement.”

Aside from forgiving all old and new fines, there will be no new fines issued during the campaign. Anyone who’s held onto a library item can also return it free of charge and finally clear their guilty conscience.  

The $57.6-million Halifax Central Library will finally open its doors this Saturday. It will feature books, movies, a gaming centre, a performance theatre, soundproof recording and editing studios and a cafe. All for the price of a library card, which is also free for the next 19 days. 

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Councillor spends $25,000 on robot tree

Brad Johns gets a Woody

Posted By on Tue, Dec 9, 2014 at 12:33 PM

You're welcome, Sackville.
  • You're welcome, Sackville.

A Halifax councillor has spent $25,000 of the municipality’s money on a talking Christmas tree.

Brad Johns, councillor for Middle/Upper Sackville-Beaver Bank-Lucasville, is eagerly awaiting his new tree as it’s shipped from the States. He says it will help Sackville compete with neighbouring districts.

“Spryfield’s got the Santa parade, downtown has their tree lighting. What can we do in Sackville that’s a little unique?” Johns says, about his inspiration for buying an 18-foot tall silicone tree.

It’s meant to evoke memories of Woody, the beloved Mic Mac Mall monstrosity that shoppers sacrificed their money to every year.

Johns’ Californian tree will cost $25,000 ($18,000 US, plus shipping and handling), and comes from a designer who also produces work for Universal Studios.

“We shopped around to get the best quality tree at the best price.”

The tree “says whatever you want it to,” and is programmable by computer. Johns envisions schoolchildren will watch it perform a 15-minute “skit,” for free, and then afterwards donations will be collected for the local food bank. This year, it will be set up in Acadia Hall on Sackville Drive. The facility is letting Johns erect his puppet for free, which means forgoing revenue they would have collected from Christmas party rentals. Johns says to compensate, in future years the tree will look for corporate sponsorship.

The $25,000 cost comes from Johns’ discretionary fund. Every councillor gets $94,000 a year in district capital funds to put towards large-scale capital developments and infrastructure. Normally, that includes parks, playgrounds, maintenance for common areas. Johns doesn’t find spending nearly a quarter his district’s money on a Christmas tree to be excessive.

“It’s not a Christmas tree,” he says. “It’s an animatronic, talking Christmas tree.”

The councillor estimates any food bank donations the tree helps gather will be double its $2,500 per year cost (given its estimated ten-year “lifespan”).

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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Bitcoin sets up at Dalhousie

Crypto-currency hits Canadian campus.

Posted By on Wed, Dec 3, 2014 at 9:44 AM

  • Source:

Eastern Canada’s first on-campus Bitcoin ATM will power-on this evening in Dalhousie’s Student Union buiilding.

The student union is partnering with Canadian virtual currency exchange CAVIRTEX to present the new machine in a ribbon-cutting event and documentary screening. It will be the first two-way Bitcoin ATM on a Canadian campus.

Bitcoin is the crypto-currency that works peer-to-peer with no central bank, using digital “coins.” Transactions are accountable and almost no cost for users, but the currency can be volatile.

This past spring, Durty Nelly’s pub installed its own Bitcoin ATM, the first of its kind in the Atlantic provinces.

This evening’s event at Dalhousie features speakers like vice president of business development for CAVIRTEX and “Dalhousie Alumni-turned Bitcoin thought leader” Kyle Kemper. After there’ll be a screening of The Rise and Rise of Bitcoin, which the Village Voice calls “a circle-jerk for bitcoin zealots who speak primarily in self-deluded Silicon Valley PR drivel.”

The event kicks off tonight in The Grawood, starting at 5pm. “Expect a large showing of Bitcoin enthusiasts, including the Dalhousie Crypto Club in attendance to learn more about the future of money and the Bitcoin phenomena.”

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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The James Bond of cats

All of November’s strangest press releases.

Posted By on Wed, Nov 26, 2014 at 12:44 PM

We get a lot of press releases during our day. Some of them are useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, this past month’s weirdest releases.

Santa’s post office getting busier and busier!
Canada Post wants children to believe in a festive arctic wizard, but not that he’d have access to email.

Changing the world…one treat at a time!
“JR wanted to do something to help the children of Haiti so he started selling his allergen-friendly, gluten-free frozen treats.”

Fusion Halifax announces 2014-14 Board of Directors

Tweed Marijuana Inc. finalizes mortgage funding for Tweed Farms
“Actual results and developments are likely to differ, and may differ materially, from those expressed or implied by the forward-looking statements contained in this news release.”

Appointments to the International Authority and the Windsor-Detroit Bridge Authority

There’s GOLD in that there new Moncton Museum!

Correction from source—Tweed Marijuana Inc.
”The second paragraph, second sentence, should read ‘7-year amortization’ rather than ‘25-year amortization.’”

James Bond of Cats? “Morris” becomes Hollywood-like franchise
“Morris comments on trending topics like Taylor Swift's new album release”

A King among men: Ice-T is a legend and he ain’t slowing’ down yet!

Is Holiday Shopping online ok at work? Survey shows less companies are “buying it.”
“More than half (51 percent) of chief information officers (CIOs) interviewed said their companies block access to online shopping.”

Etiquette for work holiday parties
“For twice as much fun this holiday party, drink half as much alcohol as you did last year”

Top researchers challenge common views on saturated fat, sodium and sugar.

Heart attack risk spikes during holiday season: how to avoid a holiday heart attack
“The number of cardiac deaths is higher on December 25 than on any other day of the year, second highest on December 26 and third highest on January 1.”

Barbie to make wishes come true this holiday

The redefined bacon, in a supermarket near you
“VIVO veal bacon offers a healthy and tasty alternative to regular bacon.”

Ten facts that will make you change your mind on reverse mortgages

Why the new year often rings in with a surge in divorce
“Many couples are together during the Christmas and New Years vacation and simply decide they don't like each other's company.”

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Monday, November 3, 2014

“Mike Weir Takes a Swing for Arthritis”

All of October’s strangest press releases.

Posted By on Mon, Nov 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM


We get a lot of communications during our day. Some of them useful, others not so much. Presented without judgment or context, this past month’s weirdest releases...

“Just in Time for Hockey Season, SUBWAY Restaurants Steps Up its Sandwich Game With its New Prime Rib Melt Sandwich!”

“Media Advisory—Dare to Tell the Truth About Vaginal Atrophy”

“Broccoli and Vitamin D top Canadian picks for curing winter blues”

“Mike Holmes Hammers Home the Message on Radon”

“Life Cycle Study Confirms It! Give Wheat a Chance”

“The Archdiocese of Montreal is Now at Your Fingertips!”

“Fall Into Coupons This Fall”

"Florida Gov. Rick Scott to pay for his own campaign." (“Friend, Talk about a headline”)

“2015 Hamilton Consumer Choice Award Winners”

“Over 80 years of information on Canadian grain elevators now online”

“Minnie Mouse Spotted at World MasterCard® Fashion Week”

“Mike Weir Takes a Swing for Arthritis”

“The Royal Canadian Mint launches an abundant selection of collector coins in time for the fall season”

“New brand of veal soon to be on supermarket shelves”

“Starbucks Unwraps a Reimagined Holiday Experience”

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

Everything now renamed Scotiabank

Last remnants of Empire Theatres to be replaced.

Posted By on Thu, Oct 16, 2014 at 10:54 AM

Not this anymore
  • Not this anymore

Cineplex Entertainment and Scotiabank, one of the top eight or 12 banks in Canada, today announced that Cineplex’s Bayers Lake location will be christened the new Scotiabank Theatre Halifax.

"We are proud that our long-standing partnership with Scotiabank now extends to Halifax," said Cineplex president and CEO Ellis Jacob in a release.

"We look forward to adding the Scotiabank name to our flagship theatre in Halifax, a decision made all the more appropriate by the bank's historic origins in the city."

As those who can still afford to attend the cinema will tell you, Cineplex’s takeover of former Empire theatres several months ago resulted in a surprisingly small amount of signage switching over. Now that a corporate partner is in place, “guests” can expect those cosmetic changes to begin shortly.

Scotiabank, where you’re richer than you think, also recently bought the naming rights for the Halifax Metro Centre, now known as Earn Travel Rewards Faster Arena.

“This city is home to some dedicated movie-lovers,” offers Scotiabank chief marketing officer John Doig, who invites all of us to take part in Scotiabank’s SCENE program (Canada’s first-ever entertainment loyalty program).

Scotiabank, a highly diversified and well-balanced business operating within a clearly defined global footprint, is also renaming Cineplex locations in Saskatoon and St. John’s. There are already Scotiabank Theatres in world-class cities like Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto.

Scotiabank still retains provincial naming rights, which it purchased in 1987.

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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Local food movement under attack

Draconian turkey laws cause for protest at legislature.

Posted By on Tue, Oct 14, 2014 at 9:15 AM

Thanksgiving is over, but turkey is still on the menu at Province House. Tomorrow a group of “concerned Nova Scotians dedicated to ensuring Food Sovereignty” will present a petition of over 3,000 signatures to the legislature.

The move comes from what some are calling “questionable actions” by Minister of Agriculture Keith Colwell and the actual-thing-that-exists Nova Scotia Turkey Producers Marketing Board. In the last couple months, the NSTPMB has been cracking down on small-scale abattoirs that aren’t registered with the board. Colwell has claimed it’s a health and safety issue.

That’s probably true. Certainly, bigger, federally-inspected facilities like Maple Leaf don’t have health problems. But at least one of these turkey processors was operating for 36 years, seemingly without too many deaths.

The Food Sovereignty for All Nova Scotians (FSANS) group also takes issue with the Natural Products Act, which they say needs to be amended or discarded completely.

“It is draconian in nature and allows for excessive bureaucratic control,” the group’s press release reads. “There is no tolerance for this kind of archaic document in a free and democratic country such as Canada.”

Concerned citizens can join in with the presentation of the petition tomorrow at 2 pm, or check out @FSNovaScotia for more details.

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