Tuesday, March 31, 2015

March Madness Day 10: Mountain Dew vs Root Beer and Crunchy Cheetos vs Ketchup

Dew you really want to hurt me?

Posted By on Tue, Mar 31, 2015 at 4:11 PM

One day into the Elite Eight and we're still feeling fired up by this whole March Madness thing. An epic bracket battle of Pop versus Chips? It's almost as good as a freshly-stocked vending machine. If you're new to the game, read our first post of the tournament to see how far we've come, and check out the ever-evolving bracket below.


I'm pleased as punch to report that yesterday Ginger Beer, number one seed and spicy little number, beat the heck out of Coke, the second ranked thirst quencher 30 votes to 25. Over in the snack match, chip Illuminati, and first ranked, Doritos showed its number two Barbecue that triangles are the boss, with an easy win of 42-14.

Today it's a David and Goliath battle with the 14th ranked Mountain Dew challenging number four Root Beer. Can the radioactive elixir take down A&W's ol' reliable? I will only accept unhappy endings to this wannabe Cinderella story. Don't Dew it.

It'll be a much tighter race in chip territory with third and fourth seeds, Crunchy Cheetos and Ketchup, duking it out for a spot in the Final Four. A disgusting truth—my sister had a childhood friend who, instead of buying ketchup chips, used to dip her plain chips in a bowl of ketchup for a "special treat". She'd probably tell you to vote ketchup, maybe not even the chip, but the condiment. But do you really want to trust someone with that strange taste in snacking? I'm a fan of our nation's chip, but not that kind of fan. My money's on the cheese batons for this one, and by money I mean I'm going to the corner store to by a bag of them immediately.

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Nova Scotia's Kitchen Vignettes gets a James Beard nom

Aube Giroux's popular video blog earns a spot at one of the world's most prestigious food awards

Posted By on Tue, Mar 31, 2015 at 12:00 PM

Kitchen Vignettes' Aube Giroux
  • Kitchen Vignettes' Aube Giroux

Some of the biggest names in food will congregate on New York on April 24th for the James Beard Federation Book, Broadcast & Journalism Awards. Known as the Oscars of the food world, the awards celebrate the best of food in America. And sitting amongst all of the nominees will be Nova Scotia’s own Aube Giroux.

Giroux is the creator of Kitchen Vignettes, a website she likes to call a “farm-to-table video blog” with recipes, anecdotes, and beautifully shot videos that show the making of said recipes. “I make videos in order to show that cooking is not just about what happens in the kitchen,” she says via email, “but also about what happens in the soils where our food is grown.”

This isn't her first time at the JBF Awards. She was nominated in the same category, "Video Webcast, on location", in 2014. (Full disclosure: This year I was asked to be a judge for the James Beard Awards, but in a separate category from Giroux's and only found out that Aube had been nominated when the list was made public on March 24th.) In 2012, a video from her website won Best Single Video at the Saveur Best Food Blog Awards. And in 2013, she started producing video and blog content for PBS Food, with a second iteration of Kitchen Vignettes.

Giroux was sitting in a restaurant in Mexico when she found out about her nomination. “I may have let out a fairly audible gasp,” she says. As to what she thinks may have led her to be nominated, she points to some of her more popular videos, including one where she makes a beautiful bright green pasta with stinging nettles, as well as a more recent video where she cooks up some fritters made from daylily bulbs.

Although it may seem like everyone and their dog has a food blog—or even just an Instagram feed full of food porn—Giroux says it’s important to do something well to make your blog stand apart. “A recipe really begins with a seed in the ground, and my videos are a celebration of organic farming, gardening, harvesting, as well as cooking,” she says. “We live in a time when agriculture has become one of the most environmentally destructive activities on this planet, and it doesn't have to be that way. I want my videos to inspire people to think about where their food comes from, and how it's been produced, but in a fun and positive way.”

As for the upcoming awards ceremony, Giroux is quick to reminisce about last year’s events, and hopes to perhaps relive some of her favourite moments: being in the same room as Martha Stewart and amongst numerous food writers that she admires, attending an after party at David Chang’s Momofuku and being surrounded by so much food. “The whole night was basically a non-stop eating fest,” she says. “I can't wait to do it all again!”

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Monday, March 30, 2015

Morris East scores at the International Pizza Expo

A Nova-Scotia-inspired pie wins third place for chef Tim Andresen

Posted By on Mon, Mar 30, 2015 at 5:44 PM

Morris East chef Tim Andresen
  • Morris East chef Tim Andresen

The world's most passionate pizza people were in Las Vegas last week for the International Pizza Expo 2015, a two-day event that drew 3,000 exhibitors and 7,000 eager attendees. Halifax's wood-fired pie connoisseurs, Morris East, were among those thousands, bringing a souped-up version of their Pear pizza with them.

"It's a place to learn everything about pizza, the best and most interesting people go," says chef Tim Andresen, adding that his boss—Jennie Dobbs—was instrumental in not only getting Morris East to world's largest pizza event, but landing it in the International Pizza Challenge finals as well. It was the Lumberjack pizza that earned the restaurant a spot in the Non-Traditional category (International Region), but after much consideration they swapped it for the long-time customer favourite Pear.

"When you put on a rock show, you play your standards," says Andresen, a self-proclaimed pizza worshipper, who amended the pie to be super local with ingredients like Urban Blue double cream blue cheese, Ratinaud proscuitto and Blomidon Baco Noir. "We wanted to bring Nova Scotia flavour to the international pizza competition. Things are always best when you work together."

He says the experience was intense, to say the least, from getting his food safely across the border, to rubbing elbows with pizza royalty like chef Matt Molina (of San Francisco's Capo's). "I was so nerved up. I was just a ball of energy, I hadn't been in the kitchen for a couple of days," he says. "When I got into the back where they had all the kitchen stuff, all the people in there were just on the same page. People had brought their best and everyone was there for a positive purpose. The common language was cooking."

The Pear received third place honours, a complete shock for Andresen who says the skills he took home from the conference side of the event, and some of his fellow chefs, were just as exciting as the win. "I learned some very technical things about dough, and that simplicity is the best way to go," he says. "And to be confident in what you're doing."

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March Madness Day 9: Ginger beer vs. Coke & Doritos vs. Barbecue

Sweet and savoury

Posted By on Mon, Mar 30, 2015 at 2:55 PM

Our March Madness second round starts today with some pretty heavy hitters—flavour-wise. It's been a weekend, so I'll refresh your memory on what we're doing. We've matched up chips and pop in an all out to the death fight, who will reign? Which snack will we have to eat forever and ever? We'll know whenever this finishes!

Here's our first post so you can catch up on all the action from the start, should you desire. The bracket is below!


Friday's matches were hotly contested within the Coast office and, apparently, without. Cream soda creamed Sprite (but only by a single vote!) and all dressed took their unholy "throw every flavour on there and might as well serve it in a trough" mentality and walloped dear old plain with it, 59 percent to 41 percent. That is a gross and disgusting outcome. Chips shouldn't taste like everything. You know why the French sneer at us? All dressed chips.

Today's second round starts off on the pop side with ginger beer versus Coke. Classy or classic? Spicy or sweet? A taste of the islands or a taste of literally every water fountain in every elementary school (in 2027, probably)? You decide!

The chip match ups pack a very salty punch with Doritos versus barbecue. When I was a child the most exotic flavour chip I would eat was BBQ, but then a fateful sleepover turned me on to the taste sensation of a Dorito and I haven't looked back. Fun fact: Once at a sleepover a friend with braces opted not to eat the Doritos but instead to lick the cheesy seasoning off each one and put them back in the bag. The next morning, the sleepover host's little brother came upstairs happily munching on the leftovers. I can't remember if we told him to stop. Oh, and you can also vote for barbecue. If you spell it "barbeque" then you can't vote for anything. Please leave.

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Friday, March 27, 2015

Brenton Restaurant replaces 1,001 Nights

Dig into North American and Persian Cuisine

Posted By on Fri, Mar 27, 2015 at 3:53 PM


The last few weeks have brought a lot of changes to 5677 Brenton Place. Unfortunately, both The Cellar Bar & Grill and its upstairs neighbour 1,000 Nights have both served their last meals, but the brand new Brenton Restaurant is the bright spot in this story.

The family business is the brainchild of Amin, Mahmood and Rezvean Chadeganipour, who after running a couple of Halifax's Treats cafes decided to go bigger. When the opportunity to take over the downtown space presented itself, they jumped on it, hiring chef Florentino De Aguiar to take the reins in the kitchen. "They're home-cooks, so I'm leaning the Persian side of things from them and they're learning North American from me," says De Aguiar. "For me its an eye-opener, there's a lot of bold flavours, it's been a good learning experience."

Brenton Restaurant officially opened its doors just over a week ago, serving up North American classics like maple glazed salmon, pan-fried haddock, a New York striploin and chicken linguine and Persian eats like a chicken and beef kebabs, meat and vegetable stews and various appetizers. Like 1,001 Nights, two-floor restaurant still offers hookah upstairs, as well as a room for business meetings or private lunches, and is available for catering. Check out Brenton Restaurants Facebook page here.

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March Madness Day 8: Cream Soda vs Sprite and Plain vs All Dressed

Cream Soda Rules Everything Around Me

Posted By on Fri, Mar 27, 2015 at 2:36 PM

Welcome to the final match-up of the first round of our annual March Madness tournament, in which we unleash our inner team players in the name of snacks. Which is superior, Pop or Chips? Only time, and many of these blog posts dissecting artificial flavours, will tell. Catch up on what you've missed here, or check out the bracket below.


Yesterday's snoozers saw 10th seed, 7-up, muster up enough non-caffienated strength to defeat every diet soda ever by a score of 34-14. Sorry diet lovers, only full sugar from here on in. On the chips side of the bracket we learned ain't nothing gonna break Party Mix's stride—not even pretzels—the seventh place chip medley defeated 10th seed Pringles by a score of 31-17. Maybe if Julius Pringles would have loosened up the bow tie a little we'd have a different result.

Today sees standards taking on eclectics. The beverage match-up pits eighth seed Cream Soda against ninth seed Sprite. I'm totally thinking pink on this one—firstly, because if Orange Crush can win your votes, the equally nostalgic/sickening Cream Soda should be able to easily, but also this cartoony liquid ice cream is so friggin' tasty. That said, it would be pretty great to have Sprite—Coke's answer to 7-up—win and have to take on its fellow lemon-lime liquid. It'd probably end in a tie because there is ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE TWO POPS.

The chips competition gives you a taste of both worlds—the really boring world (ninth seed Plain) and the super salty and intensely artificially flavoured world (eighth seed All Dressed). JK everyone, plain chips have their place and it's dunked in a heaping bowl of mayo-based dip. I'm breaking out my purple (the official AD colour, duh) jersey tonight to cheer for the sour cream & onion, ketchup, salt and vinegar and barbecue combo—it's All Dressed up and ready to kick some Plain ass.

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Thursday, March 26, 2015

Smoke's Weinerie opens today

Hot diggity dog, free weiners

Posted By on Thu, Mar 26, 2015 at 4:17 PM

via smokesweinerie.com
  • via smokesweinerie.com

Alright, enough about the burgers, let's move on to another meat-bun combo. How do you feel about hot dogs?

Today marks the grand opening of the country's first Smoke's Weinerie, which launched side-by-side with the newest local location of its sister restaurant, Smoke's Poutinerie, at 393 Pleasant Street. Similar to the Poutinerie's creative and wide-ranging menu of poutine, poutine and more poutine, the Weinerie serves up a hot-dog-centric selection that includes everything from PBJ to Bacon Cheeseburger, Nacho, Hawaiian or Donair-inspired gourmet dogs—it's intense, quite frankly.

In an impressive act of kindness and commitment to the weiner biz, Smoke's has been handing out complimentary steamies and premium dogs all day (from 11am-7pm) to celebrate its new digs. Free weenies for all!

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March Madness Day 7: Diet soda vs 7-up and Party Mix vs Pringles

In which pretzels ruin everything

Posted By on Thu, Mar 26, 2015 at 1:35 PM

We're back/still at it, chugging away at this Coasty-version of March Madness, a really sporty, stats-heavy bracket that has your favourite treats—pop and chips—fighting for the top spot of the tournament. If you're just tuning in now, you've missed a full week of bottles and bags and should probably catch up here.

Here's a look at how it all began, in bracket form.


Let's discuss yesterday's results. Let me break this to you gently. The almighty Ginger Ale has fallen. Hard. The pop conference revealed that the Dr. is in the house, and it's not going anywhere, with a 113-64 defeat—our largest voter turnout thus far. Really, you guys broke out the thunder sticks and face paint for Dr. Pepper? As much as I'm crushed to see 11th seed, Ginger Ale, go, I really can't argue these numbers. The southern belle reigns victorious.

The chip match-up had a better result proving that it is in fact easy being cheesy. A 56-34 win means that the fifth-ranked Cheese Puffs will be leaving a trail of neon orange fingerprints all the way to the top 16. Chester the Cheetah couldn't be reached for comment.

Day seven brings a bit of a snore on the pop side, but there always has to be a snoozer, right? The incredibly vague seventh seed "diet soda"—which could be any diet pop you desire, because it is an imaginary sports team— takes on 7-up, the 10th seed that has a cherry mascot even though it's lemon-lime flavoured. You don't always get brains and brawn, I guess. Diet anything is the worst, so I'm gunning for the uncaffienated dummy that is 7-up to school aspartame's ass.

When it comes to your daily salt fix, the seventh place Party Mix takes on the 10th seed, stackable "newfangled potato chip" Pringles, a snack created to counter the often crushed, greasy potato chips of the 60s. I see Party Mix as a clear front-runner here, but there's one weakness that might be big enough to drag it down—the pretzels. Ringolos, Fritos, crunchy Cheetos and Doritos—all awesome on their own, some even strong contenders in this competition—will have to hustle to make up for the shitty, dry, boring snack that is pretzels. Can they stop the pop that is Pringles? It'll take teamwork.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2015

March Madness Day 6: Dr. Pepper vs Ginger Ale and Cheese Puffs vs Fritos

Orange is the new chip

Posted By on Wed, Mar 25, 2015 at 1:48 PM

Things are heating up in our annual March Madness bracket, where we've got your favourite party snacks—pop and chips—battling each other daily in order to discover who is the ultimate satisfier of cravings. There are three match-ups left before the competition is whittled down to the top 16, so now is the time to try and save your faves. If you're slightly confused about the seriousness of this topic, educate yourself on the tournament here.

And feast your eyes on the entire bracket here:


Yesterday revealed tighter than usual races, with moustache-maker and fifth seed, Orange Crush, crushing its polite, conservative opponent Club Soda—its sparkle is gone, it's now just plain old water. How did this happen? A classy and highly drinkable beverage lost to the main ingredient in Swamp Water. This could have been an upset to rule them all, but it wound up totally predictable. Sports, man. So complicated.

The chips showdown was equally as tight, with a 23-18 victory for tastemaker and way-paver of the chip world, ye olde Salt & Vinegar defeating the sad, but probably vitamin D efficient, Sun Chips, whose Wikipedia bio predicted it all.


Yeah, no shit.

OK, now for today's fun. These two insane match-ups might just stump you snacksfans. On the drinkable side the sixth-ranked Dr. Pepper (don't even get me started) takes on the grossly under-seeded, 11th place Ginger Ale. I do appreciate the mystery of what the hell that "Pepper" flavour is but IMHO Ginger Ale deserves this. This tried and true athlete has seen it's share of cocktails and cures, and was actually invented by a doctor. And a pharmacist (he invented dry ginger ale). Here's what I recommend you do before casting your vote. Drink two litres of Dr. Pepper, and then see if Ginger Ale can cure the belly ache that'll ensue.

The chips side brings together the unconventional chip shapes of Cheese Puffs (a sixth seed) and Fritos (11th). If these chips were people, they'd be me (cheese puffs for liffffeee) and Stephanie Johns (a true alt chip eater, see Munchos). This is a fucking no brainer. Cheese puffs, Cheetos, Cheezies, whatever you want to call them, should easily trump these feeble, salty but pretty flavourless, corn twists. Yes, Fritos are older and wiser—invented in 1932—and Frito pie is an incredible thing, but how could the possibly compete with that fake cheese flavour. Or the glory of stale cheese puffs? The true twist is that the same dude invented both Fritos and Cheetos, so no matter what a genius wins. Vote with your heart, and your stomach!

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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

March Madness Day 5: Club Soda vs Orange Crush and Salt & Vinegar vs Sun Chips

What are you, healthy?

Posted By on Tue, Mar 24, 2015 at 1:28 PM

Top of the muffin to you! Have you figured our what we're up to yet? The Coast's annual March Madness madness has the best and worst in pop and chips battling for bragging rights. Considering there's absolutely no prize, it's a heated competition that's inspired my movie-watching snacks until the end of time. If you'd like a little bit of back story, read this.

Our team of snack lovers/newspaper editors ranked the the "top" (I use this term loosely, because where my kettle chips at?) 16 in both the sweet and salty (or liquid and solid) conferences, and for the next couple of weeks we'll watch as they duke it out at the hands of all your hungry people.

Look at this delicious bracket:


Before we move on to Day 5's glorious matches, let's talk about yesterday. It turns out I was biting my nails for nothing because the rare species known as Grape Pop Fans failed miserably, resulting in a 64-29 loss that has the fourth ranked Root Beer moving on to the next round. The only thing that could make this news any better would be topping it with a scoop of ice cream.

Moving on from bottles to bags, our strange Styrofoam friend Munchos crumbled at the mere sight of the red hot Canadian idol Ketchup, losing by another embarrassing score of 60 votes to 29 votes. Another fourth seed moves forward, another questionable snack eliminated. Condiments ftw!

Today brings two pretty great fancy vs trashy face-offs (fancy in the processed food world, that is). On the drinkable side of the bracket we have the fifth-ranked, but sugar underdog, Club Soda taking on the 12th place Orange Crush. If I put my nostalgia aside, I think our sparkling friend Club Soda is a better all-around player, a versatile veteran in the fizz game. I guess it comes down to whether you like your citrus in artificial or wedge form. Are you 40 at heart, or a pre-teen? You decide.

It's much more classic when it comes to today's chip competition. One of the first ever potato chip flavours, Salt & Vinegar, takes on 12th seed and multi-grain wimp, Sun Chips. I actually love both of these mediocre snacks and sort of think it's anybody's game. Sun Chips has its multiple flavours going for it—French Onion? Harvest Cheddar? Garden Salsa?—plus that compostable bag, but can its "healthy" ripples fuck with true OG, S&V, one of the only chip flavours that actually tastes like what it's named?

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Halifax's Ben's Bakery to close

Unfortunate news no matter how you slice it

Posted By on Tue, Mar 24, 2015 at 4:00 AM


Don't forget to stop and smell the fresh-baked bread. Yesterday afternoon brought the news that 6239 Pepperell Street's Ben's Bakery— known for its 100-plus year history in Halifax, and the sweet, sweet aromas that waft over Quinpool Road— will be winding down it's operations over the summer and closing its doors come November, leaving 105 employees out of work. This shut down comes about a year after Ben's parent company, Canada Bread Company Ltd., was bought by Mexico's Grupo Bimbo.

According to a statement sent out by Canada Bread, products made at the Halifax bakery—mostly sliced bread and English muffins under the Ben's, Dempster's and Villaggio brands—can be made at other Atlantic Canadian facilities "with improved speed and efficiency.". Most of this production will take place at bakeries in both Moncton and Woodstock, New Brunswick.

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Monday, March 23, 2015

Some of the best Halifax burgers are in Copenhagen

Denmark restaurant chain takes inspiration from Hfx.

Posted By on Mon, Mar 23, 2015 at 2:30 PM


We hope you’re making the most out of Burger Week, Halifax. There’s nothing like the flavours of your own city to satisfy your appetite. Imagine if you could enjoy the taste of home internationally. 

Peter Ahn and Ulrich Dehler have achieved just that by creating the Halifax Burger restaurant in Copenhagen, Denmark. Inspired while studying in Halifax, students Ahn and Dehler opened their first Halifax restaurant in 2007.

“We met in Halifax, the best burger experiences we've ever had have been in Halifax and the word Halifax is very catchy,” Dehler told reporter Angela Mombourquette a few years ago.

Halifax Burger tries to create a different ambiance for each restaurant while staying true to their menu. You choose a type of burger, a bun, a patty, side dish and dip (play around with choices on their flashy online menu here).

“As a foodie I can tell you the foodgasm was intense, and the burger was so tasty I didn’t add any extra sauces to it,” writes one food blogger about Halifax’s burgers. “The homemade pickles were unbelievable!”  


The business also turns out some impressive artwork—with cartoons of quirky characters. It’s the kind of throwback, at-home community vibe that indeed reminds you of many of the great local restaurants here in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Of course, no need to be stuck inside daydreaming of mouth-watering Copenhagen burgers. There’s still time to get your fill of beef, veggie patties and melted cheese! Burger Week runs locally until this Thursday.

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March Madness Day 4: Root Beer vs Grape and Ketchup vs Munchos

Stained finger tips and upper lips

Posted By on Mon, Mar 23, 2015 at 12:55 PM

What up, sports fans? Welcome back to day four of our annual March Madness showdown, where this year we're pitting the best in canker-sore-causers against each other in what will be an ultimate battle of sweet versus salty. If chips do not win this thing, I will drown myself in Big 8 diet cola.

Confused? Disgusted? Hungry? Here's a recap of the tournament thus far. And below, behold our completely unscientifically ranked bracket. (WHERE THE HECK IS DILL PICKLE???? THE HUMANITY!)


Before we get to today's match-ups, allow me to update you on the serious snacking went down this weekend. In quite possibly the upset of the century, the green machine, Mountain Dew, took down its snobby cousin Pepsi by a single vote. The Dew did it! Generation Next? More like Generation NEVER.

In contrast, it was a complete blowout on the chips side, with Crunchy Cheetos (better known as dense cheezies to we cheese stick connoisseurs) defeating the equally delicious Funyuns 91-9. Are Funyuns the same as those fluffy, highly addictive Sour Cream and Onion Rings? If not I take back that whole equally delicious thing. Anyway, my money's on Crunchy Cheetos taking this whole thing.

Now. Today. Potentially the most exciting one so far. On the drinks side we have a reenactment of your fifth birthday party, minus the gifts. Thirteenth seed Grape takes on fourth-ranked Root Beer. I'm predicting the latter on this one. Not only does it have better float capabilities, it won't leave you with a pop moustache and frankly grape soda is nasty—it's basically carbonated cough syrup. Anyway, go forth and prove me wrong.

On the chippies court, we have what I see as another blow out in the making, though my colleague Stephanie "Munchos" Johns would disagree. You're going to need your wet naps for this one. Canada's best invention, the fourth seeded Ketchup, takes on the chip impostor and 13th seed Munchos. The "original potato crisp" was designed to be a thicker potato chip and a Pringles competitor—the featherlight "crisps" are bubbly and nearly transparent and basically like eating air. Really salty, greasy air. Ketchup chips are a national treasure. The end.

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Friday, March 20, 2015

March Madness Day 3: Pepsi vs. Mountain Dew & Crunchy Cheetos vs. Funyuns

A very classy affair

Posted By on Fri, Mar 20, 2015 at 4:12 PM

TGIMM, everyone! I burrowed to work like a lil weasel just to find out the captivating results of yesterday's mesquite-heated match-ups in our yearly March Madness bracket. This year we're pitting chips against pop in some kind of unholy war.

Here's a bit of an explanation, and here is our bracket of the most loved and loathed children's party foods.


Today's pop matches are Pepsi and Mountain Dew and the chip offerings are crunchy Cheetos and Funyuns. We'll get to that later. Right now I need to share the results of yesterday's battle royale. But first I'll start by saying that unless there is some wild upset or especially close call, the first few days of March Madness can almost be a bit boring. The big guys go up against the underdogs, and while we love a good underdog story, those goddamned roast chicken chips are just too goddamned salty.

Coke actually had a battle on its hands, despite extensive marketing to children, and only took 78 percent of the vote. I'm sure if it hovered anywhere near 60 percent or less I would have gotten a knock on my door by the MIB dudes or something (don't think about it too much). As it stands, Coke lives to clean pennies another day.

Barbecue and roast chicken had one of the closest calls we've seen so far. With results so close you could barely slip a Pringle between them, barbecue took 57 percent of the vote. I guess more folks loved the comforting taste of Mom's chicken dinner in chip form than I thought. I stand corrected. It seriously smells like you're eating a package of ramen though, thought you should know.

Now onto this evening: crack open a bottle of something fizzy (Fresca?) have a few hors d'oeuvres and ponder today's choices. Beloved cola beverage Pepsi tickles the nose of the green giant, Mountain Dew. It's sort of a bad sign that I don't have anything snarky to say about either of these drinks. Sometimes they hit the spot! Caffeine! How can you mess with perfection?

Our chips bracket takes a slightly different shape today, as taut, slender Crunchy Cheetos take a stab in the direction of the rotund Funyuns. I feel like you can't even get Funyuns here. Maybe the allure of the exotic will be in Funyuns' favour? That said, Crunchy Cheetos have all the appeal of Cheetos but without dissolving into pure air as soon as you put them in your mouth. And there's a jalapeno flavour. Funyuns basically always taste like fun onions, I am assuming.

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Thursday, March 19, 2015

March Madness Day 2: Coke vs. Pepsi Clear & Barbecue vs. Roast Chicken


Posted By on Thu, Mar 19, 2015 at 12:00 PM

Welcome to day two of the Madness that is March. This ain't Wikipedia's definition of the term, that's for sure!


No breeding going on here! Unless you count breeding discontent over the gross types of chips and pop that may win out over my beloved Doritos. No, instead of getting it on like bunnies, we're making our babies fight! Chips versus pop, may the winner be hailed forever.

Here's a recap if you are confused (understandable).

And here's our bracket to show our matches:


But first, we need to celebrate the winners of day one! I should have done this yesterday but I was alternately making the cats kiss and watching my boyfriend shovel the driveway. As we all were.

As predicted, people really are inherently good and both Doritos and ginger beer won. In landslide victories, I might add. Ginger beer taking 81 percent of the votes (side-eying the 12 complete weirdos that chose Brio) and Doritos taking a whopping 93 percent. Even if some of those people were voting for Cool Ranch (or even worse, ketchup), I will still happily celebrate this win.

Today in pops culture, Coke goes against Pepsi Clear. I don't know why we thought it was Pepsi Clear instead of Crystal Pepsi, but when we made this list, that's what came to mind. Must have been that crazy limited time in Mexico.


Anyway, Crystal Pepsi is what we're talking about, and you know that stuff was weird on principle. We all had one (if you were old enough) and it was fine I guess? Van Halen talked us all into it!

Coke stayed the course and did not make anything clear (except Tab, and who cares about that). That's why I think we should reward Coke and punish Pepsi's hubris. Also, it's COKE! Are you really going to front here? Coke. Seriously.

The chip match ups have a bit of a theme, coincidentally. Cooking, I guess? Roasted meat, for sure. Barbecue chips plan to crush the competition of roast chicken flavour into tiny chip dust particles. Roast chicken plans to stick barbecue in a pan with a lemon up its butt. Who will win out? The classic smoky snacks or the sort-of-a-meal chip? You decide!

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Vol 27, No 16
September 12, 2019

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