by Dan Savage
Q Come on, Dan! Your response to You Gonna Eat That? was off the mark. I’m 100 percent gay and I occasionally watch hetero cunnilingus in porn, especially if the man is attractive. Another gay friend of mine feels the same way. Assuming my buddy isn’t YGET, that’s three of us right there. So there must be more.
—Sure, I’ll Watch You Eat That
A There are, SIWYET, there are. Keep reading.
Q I had to respond to your comments on the gay guy who loves to watch str8t men eat pussy. He is not alone, Dan. I love men but am extremely turned on by watching guys munching, slurping and chomping away at a wet pussy. Yes, I have been with women, but I consider myself a true man lover. But I believe there are many gay dudes who love this act. Reconsider your position or I will curse you to watch the act 24/7.
A My position on cunnilingus—fetal, trembling, eyes screwed shut—is unchanged. Curse away.
Q You Gonna Eat That? is not the only 100 percent gay guy out there who gets off watching straight guys eat pussy. I’m 100 percent homosexual and I sometimes get off watching hot str8 guys eat pussy. It’s not the act itself that’s the turn-on for me. It’s the idea that the str8 guy is in what is, for heterosexual males, a submissive role. I find that to be a turn-on.
As you’ve always said, Dan, different people are turned on by different things. The only thing that makes guys like me and YGET unique is that we’ve admitted our weird turn-ons.
—Guys Eating Pussy Are Hot
A I’ll concede that your weird turn-on is more common than I thought, GEPAH, but only if you’ll admit that copping to your weird turn-on is hardly that unique these days.
Q In reference to the gay guy who likes watching guys eat pussy: Isn’t “gays hate pussy” a tired misogynist cliché? Maybe I’m being oversensitive, because YGET’s fetish didn’t seem bizarre to me at all. I wouldn’t even consider it unusual. I’m gay and I love watching straight guys eat pussy. I love watching them be oral, enthusiastic and submissive. I love to watch them slobber and grind their faces in, turn red with effort, etc.
It’s not the sole focus of my porn diet, but I definitely find it hot. It doesn’t bother me in the least that there is a vagina in the picture, just like it doesn’t usually bother straight men when they see huge engorged cocks in straight porn. The eye focuses on what it wants.
There are few things more annoying than a gay guy who talks at length about “tuna” and how grossed out he is by women. That’s a deal-breaker as far as I’m concerned. It’s childish and it reinforces a sad and untrue stereotype about gays hating women. I also don’t accept straight male friends in my life who constantly need to talk about how gross gay sex is (and I have lots of straight male friends). Attractive human bodies might not arouse you depending on what you’re after, but they shouldn’t inspire revulsion based solely on gender, either, no matter what your orientation.
—Pussy Isn’t Gross
A I didn’t say pussy was gross, PIG, I said, “Most gay men are too grossed out by pussy—let’s be honest, guys—to linger over images of hetero cunnilingus.” Saying “gay men are grossed out by pussy” is not the same thing as saying “pussy is gross.” Please make a note of it.
But for the record: When it comes to gay men and pussy—the problem isn’t pussy. It’s us. Straight men are not grossed out by pussy, nor are straight women, nor are lesbians. That’s because they love, have, and love, have, and love to have pussy, respectively. But gay men don’t have pussy and we aren’t wired to appreciate its charms, aromas, mouth feel, etc. So we never quite get over our prepubescent male squeamishness about the body of the “other.” So a gay man with a lifelong, low-level, lingering discomfort with pussy does not have a problem with women; he has a disability. And a gay man who admits to this is not being misogynistic. Just honest.
But finding pussy gross is a consequence of homosexuality, not its cause. That’s what those gay boys we both hate—the ones who go on about “tuna”—fail to grasp. Every time they open their mouths and slag off on women’s genitalia—“tuna” equals “pussy is gross”—they’re saying, “I’m gay because women repulse me, not because men attract me.” It’s deeply neurotic and, yes, misogynistic. It’s as if they’re saying women, by failing to attract them, are somehow responsible for their homosexuality.
Still, PIG, not all gay men turned on by images of cunnilingus think pussy is beautiful. Some of your fellow pervs enjoy looking at images of straight men performing cunnilingus precisely because they think pussy is gross. Read on.
Q I don’t know whether to be proud or slightly embarrassed to tell you this, but YGET isn’t the only gay man out here who gets turned on by watching a straight guy eat pussy. I’ve been aware since I was a kid that that’s a major turn-on for me. Part of it, of course, is just watching any hot guy do anything sexual. (And the guy has to be hot—Pat Robertson sucking vulva wouldn’t do it for me.) But another part of it, quite honestly, has to do with what you said: As a card-carrying queer, I find pussy gross. So watching a straight guy lap it is in the realm of kink for me, like watching a guy lick the soles of a woman’s high heels or get a mouthful of piss. I almost invariably find myself thinking, “They do THAT, and they feel superior to us?!”
So rest assured, YGET is not alone.
—Enjoys Pussy Sucking Men
A I want to kiss you for comparing eating pussy to taking a mouth full of piss, EPSM. Not because I agree with you—I most certainly do not—but because your outrageously gynophobic comments make my slightly gynophobic admission seem trifling in comparison.
Oh, and you’re a bad, bad man, EPSM. For shame.
Q Regarding the gay guy turned on by pics of straight guys eating pussy: I was at an orgy recently, feeling pretty hot making it with this other hot guy and watching other horny goings-on, when suddenly this gay couple started having sex with this girl. One of the boys ate her out before starting to fuck her while she sucked the other guy’s dick. I have no idea why, but I was incredibly turned on. It didn’t throw me into turmoil—I’ve never claimed to be “100 percent gay,” just in the high 90s—but it did come as a memorable surprise. I thought that your correspondent might like to know that someone out there had a similar erotic switch flipped.
—I Get Invited to Awesome Parties
Q I am a thoroughly gay man who has never actually seen a vagina in real life (and might scream and run away were that to occur), but like YGET, I’m turned on by photos of guys eating out girls. So YGET is not alone on this planet.
Specifically, I like self-posted photos of amateur couples where the guy is eating out the girl, who usually has a hairless pussy. This isn’t as icky as it sounds because the guy’s lower face is blocking all view of the pussy, or else the angle shows that the girl is taking the photo of her guy licking her pussy, which can’t be seen from her vantage point. These photos reveal about as much as a photo of a guy licking his girl’s underarm. In fact, I prefer these images to ones of girls getting fucked, because you frequently see a lot of pussy in those.
These photos are adorable, and the turn-on for me is the puppy-dog earnestness and lost-and-dreamy look on these guys’ faces—you can tell each one has buried his face in his own personal Happiest Place on Earth.
—Look At Him Merrily Licking Away
A Thanks for sharing, IGITAP and LAHMLA.