This is it. Take a good hard look at what you've done. Upworthy is the BEST of the new media and Coffee News is the TOP OF THE HEAP of old media, according to you. This is what you like. This is what you read, and this is how you get your news and learn. You're really smart and do a great job finding out about the world around you. I would like to date you. You seem to know a lot about things.
Granted, I know I really strong-armed you into that Coffee News thing, but only because I love chaos. I didn't actually think you'd do it. What if next year's poll is about the best bridge for your friends to jump off? Would you do that too? I shudder to think.
This bracket really tells a sad tale:
I think you should cast your final vote today, make a dunce cap out of paper then go sit in a corner for the rest of the day.