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Monday, June 3, 2019

Car sales run over pet health care

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:16 PM

Sighhhhh. When does a big auto-dealership baron on peninsular Halifax have enough space for his cars? Not yet—not until his little neighbour, a veterinary clinic that's been on the corner of North and Robie streets for decades, vacates at the end of June. The car dealer's company owns the vet hospital property, and the impending loss of that site is the latest development in the dealer's contentious parking-lot expansion. If city hall truly wants to create and maintain walkable communities, and it does, then bulldozing a place many locals and their furry friends could always access on foot seems to conflict with that planning philosophy. More lot space, more cars, more drivers on the road. This shit's fucked up.
—Pongo McCritter
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Give money to a panhandler, get fined?

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:13 PM

Yeah, I know there's a recent Bitch about panhandlers, but it's such a major issue that continues to worsen I think it's warranted.

Giving panhandlers money just encourages the practice further, which leads to the continued harassment of pedestrians, motorists, and businesses. Clearly trying to penalize these people has had no impact, so why not start handing out fines to people who give panhandlers money?

Make it a bylaw with something like a $50 fine. As the odd person is fined in this way, word of mouth will spread and (hopefully) less people will continue to fund this shit. Honestly, just do SOMETHING. It's unreal how much worse it is here than every other major Canadian city I've visited.
—Poohandler

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IF YOU WANT A FUCKING METER GIVE IT TO ME

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:07 PM

I will give the required meter of space to all bicycles. it is the law and a safety issue .Only one fucking request when I stop my car at a light and the idiots on their bicycles come up beside me between the curb and my car: GIVE ME THE SAME METER. My car can not slide sideways.
—You can share the road as well
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Waste of time

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:05 PM

Why would you cheat on your girlfriend? Why would you do it for years? Did you seriously think she wouldn't find out? Did you think I wouldn't find out you were in a relationship? WTF. You got the best of both worlds: Nice girlfriend to go home to, cuddle with, cry to. And when she didn't provide, there I was. No more, you dirty dog. No wonder you didn't want to be in a relationship with me: You were already in one, you fuck nut. I'm sorry I didn't figure this out sooner and in turn, hope you're alone for the rest of your life.
Your ex side bitch
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Monday, May 27, 2019

Keep your kids out of the street

Posted By on Mon, May 27, 2019 at 2:26 PM

It's getting warmer—and that means soon, all the stupid parents who let their kids play in traffic will be putting out their completely ineffective little "We love our kids please slow down" signs. This, in spite of the fact that many putting out such signs have massive, fully landscaped backyards where their spawn can safely play—and the fact that motorists in this city are known nation-wide for their shitty driving. Even the few good drivers can have trouble stopping in time if little Timmy ignores the calls of "Car!" and decides to keep chasing the hockey ball into the street regardless. Kids are stupid like that. It's not their fault but they are. So, let your kids play on your own goddamned property instead of sending them out the front door into the path of some dumbass doing 70 in a school zone.
—The street is not a playground
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Advice for our councellors

Posted By on Mon, May 27, 2019 at 2:24 PM

foot-stepping-on-city.jpg
Today on the way to work there were three bus shelters in a row with the glass broken. As a tax payer in this city, I am tired of paying for this shit over and over. I'm sure the tempered glass that size is at least $2K per pane installed and cleaned up. My advice is for the city council to remove all the shelters as they get broken. Most bus stops don't have them. If it's raining bring a fucking umbrella. If it's cold, dress for the fucking weather. It is obvious that people in this city can't teach their fucking kids to respect property. Spend the money on useful things like maybe another brand new bus or metal benches at every bus stop.
—Spend the money better
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Cuddle parties? Get a grip!

Posted By on Mon, May 27, 2019 at 2:20 PM

A bunch of strangers cuddling together in a room is about as appealing as a boiled egg fart. What is wrong with you people? Get a dog or a stuffed animal.
—What next?
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Speak like a woman

Posted By on Mon, May 27, 2019 at 2:17 PM

I'm noticing a trend among young women these days: A lot of ya'll are now talking with that annoying Kim Kardashian fake baby voice/vocal fry. It's extremely irksome and it makes you sound like a complete moron. Grow up and speak like the woman of age that you clearly are. You're aren't a teeny bopper or a valley girl or a baby, so stop talking like one. It ain't cute and it ain't cool. Same goes for the upspeak—aka ending every statement on a high-note. How can you expect anyone to respect your opinion or what you have to say if you sound like a total ditz? Back in my day, women prided themselves on being assertive, shrewd business women. These days millenials are all a bunch of cutesy insta-wannabe bubbleheads who can't even talk properly. You may think you sound hip, but people are actually laughing at how stupid you sound. Open your mouth and let the sound come out. You're a big girl now
—Vocal Fry fries your vocal chords and my ear drums.
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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Streets as garbage bins

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:47 PM

To the person who chucked their whole McDonald's lunch litter into the middle of Dublin Street between Young and Cork Streets on May 21st, here's the refuse you refused to recycle or even take home: large paper bag (recyclable), burger carton (recyclable), two paper napkins (compostable), a whole large bacon and cheddar angus bun (compostable.), a salad container (garbage) the container cover (recyclable), an unopened package of croutons (compostable and recyclable), a plastic fork (recyclable) the fork wrapper (recyclable), a paper and plastic bag (recyclable) and a very large piece of garbage: You! Lots of retired people live along there and some have surveillance and are hyper vigilant. One lady I spoke with saw the bag being chucked and others may have you on their cameras. The world can't afford trash like you any more. Smarten up. You're being watched more than you think.
—Tired of trash chuckers
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Yo, balloon boy

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:42 PM

I saw you steal the balloon off that old lady's front porch. Your buddy kept yelling "Wrong house! Wrong house!" but was perfectly fine after you snagged that precious, partially deflated pink prize. At least the third member of your drunk little gang had the decency to look ashamed when I met his eyes. You and the other shitbag, though, have a special spot in hell waiting. I don't care how drunk you were, you and your buddy are pieces of shit.
Oh, and if that banging I heard as I walked away turns out to have been you, and I see any damage done to the park or bus stop on my walk to work, guess what? I recognized you, and I hope seeing the cops coming to take you in for vandalism scares that shittiness out of you.
—Seriously, stealing a ballon from an old lady's house? How fucked are you?
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Climate denial doesn't look good on you

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:38 PM

To the local alt-weekly newspaper publishing climate denial in the form of a letter to the editor that's full of lies fabricated by oil companies, risking the future of the planet to make a buck: Don’t.
—Not brainwashed, just worried about the future of humanity
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Bitch poetry slam

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:34 PM

Bring Back Bald Britney
She a boss ass bitch
with an umbrella ella ella
Bustin up car windows
No more dancing Vegas puppet
Handlers at the kitty cat ranch

Fat Palimony bitchboy
Federline fed enough
He eatin like a king,
Bling bling bling,
Cut him off judge!
Leave Britney alone!
Illuminati queen, next to Bey
But I like Sahsa Fierce better.

Bring back bald Britney
and bald Bynes too.
Yas yas yas queens
Yous the real shits
Stay Woke
—Read between the lines

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Stop giving to street-walking panhandlers

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:23 PM

Today at the Windsor exchange, there were four panhandlers working all medians and walking into traffic. Stop giving them money! They are a nuisance and a distraction. Last Sunday, going straight on the MacDonald Bridge at the corner of Nantucket Avenue and Wyse Road, a truck in front of me was giving money to a beggar (on the passenger's side) who was walking the middle of the road, just as the light turned green. As the truck took off, this asshole stood in front of me with a big grin, holding me up. Knock it off!
—Mad Max
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Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Pizza delivery scam

Posted By on Tue, May 14, 2019 at 3:56 PM

Called to order a donair from the pizza place, which was listed for $9.50. They wanted to charge me an extra three dollars for delivery because my order is under $10. Why not just add the extra 50 cents, then, to bump it up to 10 bucks? Why do you need three dollars more for nothing? Fuck you, you charletons! I don't like being nickelled and dimed and charged extra for nothing. Why not make the price of large donair 10 bucks, not 9.50? Then they want an extra dollar to use interac. It's 2019, everywhere has interac for free, dipwads. Welcome to the 21 century. I cancelled my order because I want a donair, not a head fuck! Also, I didn't like the tone of the asshole on the phone. Won't be calling you damn rip off artists again! Also your donair causes uncontrollable diarrhoea the next morning, so I'm doing myself a favor, actually.
—Shove it up your ass
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Introducing children to your sickness

Posted By on Tue, May 14, 2019 at 3:46 PM

This magazine is full of revolting articles not suitable for folks with a sane mind—and you leave it all over the place for free! Any child could come along and take one, thinking it is something kind of congruous to family values in the public news form, but it is just disgusting! I don't want to hear about your sex lives you sickos—and neither do the children! Every time I have tried to flip through this thing I forget the only reason I empty the Coast paper machine every time I see one is to put the papers under where the birds sleep. Free crap catchers.
—Mary Contrary
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In Print This Week Issue Cover

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 3
June 13, 2019

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