Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

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Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Loves stink

Posted By on Wed, Feb 19, 2020 at 3:04 PM

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Last week somebody bitched about the lack of loves in this section. Fuck that. There shouldn't be loves in this section at all. The Coast should get that weak shit outta here and let us bitch non-stop. — Shade Thrower

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City space utilization

Posted By on Wed, Feb 19, 2020 at 10:06 AM

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The more I traverse the city, the more annoying I find it that we have two large car dealerships within our urban core (and even more farther north). Should not we be more critical of how we utilize our city’s space, and not allow glorified parking lots to set up shop, especially in the city with one of the lowest vacancy rates in the country? I’ll remind you that one of these lots demolished a gaggle of homes to have more space for its products to sit on. These businesses are better suited to areas like Burnside, Bayers Lake or Dartmouth Crossing, and not a highly populated downtown area. The sales lot model is dated and not very space-efficient. There could be dozens of homes built in these spaces, or small condos with ground-level storefronts to enliven the areas. Imagine Robie Street without car dealerships, and instead with new small businesses and more places to live! Does it not sound like an improvement? — Teethoflions

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Friday, February 14, 2020

Seriously, now you’ve stolen my garbage?

Posted By on Fri, Feb 14, 2020 at 4:20 PM

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Seriously, you've now stolen a potentially asbestos-containing bag of garbage off my doorstep?! I was going to keep adding to it, but I guess you wanted that plastic sheeting, dried ceiling popcorn goo and potential cancer-causing fibres! (I can't afford asbestos testing so I treated it like it did have asbestos). Between you and the neighbours who steal all of our plastic and paper recycling bags on a regular basis, I'm tired of it. Maybe I'll put out dog shit next time and you can steal that as well? — Careful Of The Asbestos

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Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The exception to the rule

Posted By on Wed, Feb 12, 2020 at 4:10 PM

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I saw your look of confusion as I passed by, blaring my horn at you. Look: the carshare parking spots are for carshare cars. Not for German-made luxury vehicles idling life away. So  had to park farther away and walk through even more treacherous shitice because of you. Thanks. If I seem overly enraged, it’s because this is hardly the first time I’ve had this happen.

My every day seems filled with assholes for whom rules and regulations apply to everyone, everywhere. Unless and until they apply to them because they have more urgent business. Carshare parking only? Not if I need to just pull in for a bit. No smoking? Yeah, but I really need a dart right now. Quiet study area? Yeah, but I gotta take this call. Fire lane? I’ll only be in the liquor store for a minute (I’m looking at you, everyone on Baker Street). And what are the odds of a fire, anyway?

Fuck you people and your fucking exceptionalism. If you want to live in a place where the rules only apply to other people, I suggest heading south. The Tweeter-in-Chief is all about that. “They” say the road to hell is paved in good intentions. That aphorism was invented by exceptionalists like you, who want to excuse constantly acting in bad faith. Guess what? You’re not that special. Follow the fucking rules. Improve your intentions. Please. — Slip ’N’ Slide

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Sunday, February 9, 2020

Bus buddies begone!

Posted By on Sun, Feb 9, 2020 at 9:20 AM

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Dear Bus Buddies: you know who you are. You stand up front near the driver ("your buddy") chewing the fat and blocking the entrance to passengers. Sure, there may be plenty of seats available to choose from, and gasp, sit in, but you prefer to stand and gab, gab and stand, narrowing the aisle, creating bottlenecks with total disregard for others. Could you be distracting the driver? Heck no! They blew past that frigid soul at the last stop because your stories are just sooo interesting. Please Bus Buddy, sit down. Get the fuck out of the way. Leave the drivers alone. Stop for the love of all that is safe and sound. I doubt the drivers will miss you. — Busing Bitcher

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Saturday, February 8, 2020

Bad dog bag man

Posted By on Sat, Feb 8, 2020 at 10:58 AM

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To the dog walker along Almon Street who carries yellow or green plastic doggy bags for the poop pick-up: yes, you're doing the earth-friendly thing by bending over to bag your dog’s poop, but only to deposit the bag on the sidewalk by the telephone pole near the Rona on Almon. Please do mother earth a favour and take your poop home with you for proper disposal. Mother earth will love you, as will all of us who walk on Almon and have to observe your poop bags piling up. — Pooped-Out Doggy-Bag Observer

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Friday, February 7, 2020

Outside hire, boss a liar, makes me want to start a fire

Posted By on Fri, Feb 7, 2020 at 3:35 PM

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When a job promotion opened up at my workplace and I filled in as acting-whatever for that same position—for the same pay with more work—and my boss took their sweet time with the hiring process, the job was given to a replica of its previous incompetent occupant. The irony is I'll end up training this person with my same benefits-less hourly wage, while they stumble through the learning process with their cozy salary in tow. Happy new year to me. — Filled In For What?

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Thursday, February 6, 2020

Why'd you have to make things so complicated?

Posted By on Thu, Feb 6, 2020 at 10:46 AM

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Just lead with, "This is a robbery." That I had to ask, "Is this a robbery?" only served to cost you precious time and make the whole business needlessly frustrating for me. Clear, direct communication is key. — Smokeshop Cashier

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Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Get your own space!

Posted By on Wed, Feb 5, 2020 at 3:02 PM

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To the gaggle of entitled middle-aged women who took over my table at Humani-T Cafe while I was trying to read my Toni Morrison novel: At first it was just one of you who asked if she could sit at my table, since the cafe was busy. You hovered over me, and I felt too intimidated to say no. Then you brought your whole cohort and y'all sat so close to me that I felt literally pushed out. It's been a tough week and I just wanted a little joy with my book. Screw you. — Angry Reader

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Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Goodbye forever/I need a dentist

Posted By on Tue, Feb 4, 2020 at 1:46 PM

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I really hope that after you chipped my tooth you realized how terrible of a kisser you are, and also why this relationship is over. — Mistake From The Start

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Saturday, February 1, 2020

Another car bitch

Posted By on Sat, Feb 1, 2020 at 9:20 AM

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Once again, walking to work I was cut off in an intersection by someone speeding through in front of me. Had I not stopped walking through they would have hit me. I looked at their faces to see if they might have just missed my presence there, but there were staring right at me, laughing and giving me the finger. I guess people think it's a joke to put people's life at risk with reckless and dangerous driving. No wonder we have so many fatal pedestrian collisions. — Dead By Drive-By
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Friday, January 31, 2020

Shitholes, slumlords and sickos, oh my!

Posted By on Fri, Jan 31, 2020 at 9:23 AM

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Apartment hunting in this city is a mess! Reading ads on Kijiji, you can't even rent a room in this city for under 600 bucks. Now these landlords are getting real choosy. Ads say, "students only," "girls only," etc.  Sounds like a bunch of perverts. Why does it have to be a student? Students can't even afford the rent. How about renting to the first paying customer? Why does it have to be a girl? One ad said "No overnight guests allowed." Who the fuck do these landlords think they are?  If someone hands you over the better part of a thousand dollars every month for rent, what makes you think you can tell them what to do in the home they pay to rent?  No overnight guests? So the female, student tenant must also be single and available for you too, eh? — Reading Between The Lines
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Thursday, January 30, 2020

Bathtub bitch

Posted By on Thu, Jan 30, 2020 at 3:20 PM

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I'd like to know what clinical moron invented the standard bathtub, which is a completely subpar invention for anyone above four feet tall who wasn't born with a super-bendy gooseneck. Poured myself a hot bath to nurse my raging PMS cramps, but my knees, tits and most importantly my gut sticks out a foot above the surface of the water. Nothing soothing about pretzelling your limbs into a porcelain coffin built for a child, your head jerked at an uncomfortable right angle, throat folded nearly in half, like a kink in a garden hose to cut off your breath. With today's technology churning out new iPhone after new iPhone, why can't someone reinvent something necessary and worthwhile for once? Like bathtubs, because they fucking SUCK! — Hell Above High Water
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Wednesday, January 29, 2020

When friendship turns to henshit

Posted By on Wed, Jan 29, 2020 at 9:15 AM

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There's a special place in hell for "friends" who date their friend's exes without a care or a second thought. Apparently you've never heard of girl code. I guess loyalty is too much to expect in friendships of today's climate, but would a little common consideration be too much to ask? There's a whole city's worth of available men you could date, but you chose someone who used me, manipulated me and then cheated on me. Sneaking around, exchanging numbers and seeing him behind my back on the downlow. How would you feel if one of your friends did that to you, and started hanging with your ex who had treated you poorly? It's quite clear he is using you too, in a narcissistic attempt to get me back or to get back at me. Quit pretending to be some empath online. You don't even know the meaning of empathy, you self-serving phony! I was going to warn you about him but I think I'll let you find out for yourself what you're in store for with him: a season of ruination. — Farewell Fairweather Foe
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Sunday, January 26, 2020

Watch out for that spider!

Posted By on Sun, Jan 26, 2020 at 4:11 PM

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New dude on the scene got you interested? Seems to always be flirting with you without really saying anything? Got a sob story about why he's here that seems too good to be true? Yeah, it is. Get the back story. His gender politics are shit, he's really hurt a lot of people and just moves on. (PS - He doesn't even wanna fuck you. He just wants to make sure his garden gets watered.) — The Last Fly

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Recent Comments

  • Re: Bridge-crossing blues

    • Moving up from the left is actually the most efficient way of doing things, for…

    • on March 25, 2020
  • Re: What's a bus schedule

    • Oh yeah, when you're late, they all stroll off with the newspaper under their arm…

    • on March 18, 2020
  • Re: Silent fireworks

    • You sound so dumb

    • on March 18, 2020
  • Re: Socks versus my family

    • Your bitch didn't support their agenda.

    • on March 18, 2020
  • Re: Bridge-crossing blues

    • It does not make sense to only utilize one lane. We have 100 cars in…

    • on March 17, 2020
  • Re: Bring it on!

    • With ya buddy.

    • on March 16, 2020
  • Re: Does it get better soon?

    • Whenever a holy roller gets in my face (and I'm not even LGBTQ) and starts…

    • on March 9, 2020

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 43
March 19, 2020

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