Matters of the heart

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

NO, it's better than fine

Posted By on Tue, Jul 17, 2018 at 10:25 AM

I don't just mean your band, but you DO have excellent stage presence and songwriting skills. You're very funny and sweet and awkward and I think it's very cute. You were a good cuddler. Cute dates and snugs would have been plenty. I never wanted anything serious, but I think I scared you. I am not scary. I think you know that too. That's why it happened twice.
Now you barely have anything to say to me. STILL! It's been a little while now, but I'm still sad because you used to invite me to things all the time and I miss that! I miss being your friend, or at least seeing you regularly—and all the people I knew through you.
Thanks for walking me home so many times, I guess. Jam again sometime?
—I can play bass
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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Get well soon

Posted By on Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 2:38 PM

You can't show up drunk anymore. I can't take care of you all night once every few weeks. I can't love you. I can't watch you push and pull away. It leaves me feeling a sort of terrible. I don't manage very well, and I'm trying so hard to live a good life. I know you are, too, but you're right: you can't care for me in the capacity that I need.

So do as you do. Whatever happened between you and me truly doesn't matter. What does matter is that you get a little better, and a little better, and a little better still. What matters is I can allow my guts to connect to a person who is capable of caring back. Take care of yourself, and please please please: Just be safe.
—Apocalypse snacks

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Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Bearded biking botanist boy

Posted By on Tue, Jun 19, 2018 at 12:24 PM

It seems a bit foolish that I miss you so much. I’ve concluded you’ve given me emotional whiplash, and because of it I don’t know what to believe anymore. Logically I know you miss me. Emotionally it’s harder. Nevertheless, I can’t wait to come meet you across the pond for your birthday. Because I believe in love, and I believe in you. —Happy Birthday My Love

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Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Only passing through

Posted By on Wed, Jun 13, 2018 at 12:01 PM

You and I know very well how we got here. It's easy. It's simple. There’s no pretending now. I’m not one to do that well. Nothing has changed. There is no reason for any change.  I’m patient, I’m catching my breath, I’m holding down forts, I’m forgetting, I’m forced, I’m veteran-ing, I’m picking up scraps, I’m unsentimental, I’m unnecessary. Mostly, I’m exhausted. I am breathing, aren’t I? Positing the impossible?  Being out of sight. Trying. Living. Understanding. What must I keep pleading for? What kind of revelation apart from the ones that already sting? What is new? It’s taken time, but I can hear myself breathe once again. Maybe the same goes for you. I can only imagine.

I know, I feel everything right down to my bones. Lately, you make me feel as though I should do otherwise. I have a heart, and in that heart, I know this would have evolved into a thing so unbelievably lovely and rewarding had you truly arrived with yourself.  But never in a thousand years would there be a place in my heart for the things you have done and continue to do.

I can only say to you that I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you will never truly know.  I’m sorry for loss. Perhaps you are protected from that.  Perhaps you have been hardened in the best ways humans can be hardened. Perhaps there are no more revelations.  If all that I see before me is true, I will have to close my eyes, pack up, take risks and imagine elsewhere once more. —Wanderer By Trade

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Monday, May 28, 2018

Wishing

Posted By on Mon, May 28, 2018 at 12:00 PM

It has been roughly a year since our renewed contact. What a year it has been! Highs and lows...wouldn't have missed it!  I wish we could be together. I hope it's mutual. You've been the one, you are the one and always will be. Thank you. —Dancing The Skies On Laughter Silvered Wings

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Friday, May 25, 2018

Once upon a time in the east

Posted By on Fri, May 25, 2018 at 12:00 AM

I miss you. Been years now, and you were right about everything. I didn't listen and here I stand. Hardened by life’s woes, and found out who I really am. I wish you could see me now, instead of hate who I was. I'm happy you've made it so far, and that you are one step closer to traveling to Asia. Maybe we will meet there one day, and have a chat. Until then… —See Ya Later, Cowboy

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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

One year later

Posted By on Wed, May 23, 2018 at 10:23 AM

Why is it,
So hard to speak in person?
Face to face,
Or side by side?
Did we not have,
A better understanding,
Of one another through that simplicity,
And found logic,
humanity and empathy.
For the reasons,
We wear our masks?
Why do either one of us,
Have to be so savage?
Nothing has changed,
I never hold grudges,
I have feelings for you,
But that's not where my heart is.
I found myself,
Lost in the past,
Stuck in the present,
Longing,
Needing,
And Willing to break through.
Into,
Change,
Healing,
And inspiration,
And it was all because of you.
One year later...
I'm still me,
You are still you.
But now I know why,
You could relate so much,
And I understand why,
You warned me about so many things,
You were right about everything and everyone
Except for me.
But then again,
There's never any logic,
In arguing over the phone,
through texts,
or cyberly.
There's nothing to argue about.
Nothing left to resolve,
Nothing left but peace,
I paid attention,
To everything you told me,
I just needed a year to see,
But if it really hurt,
That I never believed until exactlty
One year later in 2018,
Just remember,
Until you,
Nobody ever treated me,
Like royalty,
In which I am deeply sorry.
—Your Mouthy Bitch
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Sunday, May 20, 2018

Every damn day

Posted By on Sun, May 20, 2018 at 12:00 PM

I miss you. Every day. I'm just trying to do right, act right, be right. But sometimes I miss you so much it hurts. I hope you're OK. —Fake Sean

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Friday, April 20, 2018

Lost to time

Posted By on Fri, Apr 20, 2018 at 12:00 PM

It's been nearly two years and I still think of you every day. I earn a living now. I could give you a child. We could have a home and a life together. You'd make the best mother. I miss our cats, the bed we slept in, your interior decor. I miss everything and I'm sorry for being so difficult.

You're not perfect either but I'd suffer you at your worst forever and die happy. Life is pale without you and I regret every day since. You told me you moved on. Some day I will have to relent and move on too, but until then, know that my heart still beats for you.

I don't want the rest of the girls in Halifax—I just want you. —Ambivalent Dreamer


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Friday, March 9, 2018

Swiss love

Posted By on Fri, Mar 9, 2018 at 12:00 PM

We've been on several dates and every time we spend time together I wish with all my might that you will want me to be your girl even though I know you're a lone wolf. You are the reason I am not giving up hope that there are indeed wonderful men out there. You listen to me, you ask questions and you make me feel so damn special. No matter where we end up, my heart will always be grateful to you.
—Grateful Heart In The North End


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Friday, March 2, 2018

Momentary time travel

Posted By on Fri, Mar 2, 2018 at 12:37 PM

I came across some old photos of you from your semester abroad and I was momentarily 25 years old again, missing you desperately even though you weren't technically mine to miss. —Almost 28


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Wednesday, January 3, 2018

And here's to you

Posted By on Wed, Jan 3, 2018 at 12:03 PM

One day, when the stars are all perfectly placed in the sky, a girl who gets butterflies in your presence, lost in your eyes and tongue-tied by your smile, who would be happy just to listen to you talk, and play with your hair and feed you honey and tangerines, will find you (again) and be free to love you for a thousand lifetimes. If you can be my thunderbolt...you can be someone else's. I can be at secret peace with that.  –Hey hey hey


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Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Exams suck when...

Posted By on Wed, Dec 13, 2017 at 12:08 PM

To the girl studying in the Starbucks on Saturday night. I couldn't help but overhear the long phone conversation you were having with your friend about you and your boyfriend breaking up. You mentioned that it was the weekend right before your Monday exam, and that you had talked about looking forward to seeing him at Christmas. My heart went out to you for dealing with a breakup during your exams and right before Christmas. I hope you get all the TLC you need from friends and family when you get home over the holidays. —You’ll Get Through This


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Monday, November 20, 2017

It doesn't matter

Posted By on Mon, Nov 20, 2017 at 12:00 PM

Everything is terrible and it's mostly your fault. You make everything difficult. But it doesn't matter. I want everything we talked about. I love you more than anything. —Foxy


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Thursday, October 5, 2017

Crumpled flower

Posted By on Thu, Oct 5, 2017 at 12:00 PM

I've never written into an exalted alt paper about a mere boy. I've naught felt that inspired. Actually there's quite a bit I haven't felt before that I am currently experiencing with a single human. How bizarre and lovely. To the folk trudging through drudgery: keep at it a bit longer cause I'll bet there exists out there a rainy alcove, biding to release its divine onto you too. —Plucky and Cursed Alongside Ya
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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 5
June 27, 2019

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