As Sweeney Todd's Mrs. Lovett Sondheim-sighs in her first solo, "aye sir, times is hard." While I'm not making human pies to make ends MEAT right now, I have had to become savvy with my pot allowance.
To get double dosages out of my stash, I've been vaping more often and then using the leftovers to smoke (or as we discussed previously in this space, make cinnamon buns with). Besides smoking "already been vaped" joints, I've been rolling short fat spliffs with new papers you size yourself, parchment-paper style, and sprinkling some saved-up crystal on to get more buzzed for my buck. Finally, I hit Coastal Cannapy up for their "bottom shelf" budget bud.
Here are the highlights of three strains you can score for less than 10 bucks a gram.
At $6.50 a gram after tax, indica hybrid Venom OG blends Kush-variety Poison OG and Rare Dankness #1, a signature Colorado indica. Venom's long curly leaves reek of gasoline and lemon, but the trichomes are barely visible. While this OG gets touted as a heavy nighttime medicator, I can toke it happily throughout the day without getting knocked out. Just remember, dosage is everything. Coastal's Venom is a bit dusty and the joints produce harsh smoke and coughing fits. The high is worth it though: Its piney Poison parent administrates grounded vibes while the Rare Dankness lineage can soothe a hyperactive mind.
While Venom-stoned, past-Lucy wrote: "venom convincing my daydreamy space-brain to hone in/communicate with icorporeal form." Which I think translates to "Venom is a great strain to microdose before a yoga session, easing the ability to connect mind, breath and body."
This mythical lizard is a favourite of Coastal's friendliest budtender, who suggested it to myself and any customer requesting recommendations. Red Dragon is a $7.50 strain taxes in, a Hot Lips-hued flower checkered with teeny orange patches. A cross between West Himalayan Indica Kush and Utopia Haze (a Brazilian sativa), Dragon lacks a pungent smell but has a Swedish Berry taste (and apparently is making me crave like-coloured gummy candies). Its Haze parentage strikes up a classic sativa energy spike, while the indica Kush provides a slow stoned comedown. Red Dragon is like a cannabis espresso shot that can keep you buzzed throughout the day.
I rolled it up immediately after buying, and before I knew it I was running late to a meeting, whizzing north on the godforsaken #80, chatting with a long-distance pal in my earbuds. I was too buzzed and boisterous to care about being THAT passenger (the one who has full-on personal phone conversations on the bus) and perhaps everyone hated me, but it made my labourious journey enjoyable, and I was high enough to believe I was actually entertaining everyone!
I soon realized I put the wrong fucking address into Google Maps, and all that fire-breathing energy transformed into paranoia. I had to hang up, do a lot of nostril breathing, pacing and muttering "goddamnit" before I could reorient myself.
Crossing the pure sativas Strawberry Fields and Haze, Strawberry Cough produces a mild high, making it possible to medicate and still get work done, stay focused and socialize. Two grams for $15 at Coastal, it smells of strawberry wafers in the dimebag with a richer, woodsy bottom note that comes through when smoking. Its high is light, refreshing and melts stress away. Spending 4:20 with Strawberry Cough is a great peacemaking companion if, like me, you experience sunset anxiety. Seriously, why do I get so blue between the hours of 3 and 6pm?
Strawberry Cough is gentle painkiller, perfect to relieve body tension and cramps as well. It easily became my fave budget strain to roll when hosting friends or ducking out from a party with fellow tokers. Next GoTime I have to head somewhere distant in the HRM on transit, I will probably choose the Cough to accompany me (and set my Google Maps before sparking up).