Another spectacular disaster, another batch of blandly beautiful survivors, another series of bloody accidents orchestrated by Death to reclaim its escaped prey. Only the specifics change in this film series, which kicks off its fifth edition with a bridge collapse that kills all but a handful of ill-fated office workers. Much like the Saw
films, the Final Destination
s are about the elaborately-staged how
of the characters’ deaths, not the if
(we’re repeatedly told who’s going to die and in what order). This movie might make you reconsider massage therapy, gymnastics or laser eye surgery, and its admittedly inventive gore might make you retch, but it won’t make you care about its hapless victims and it certainly won’t make you scared. Same old, same old---splatter, rinse, repeat.