To the editor:

There is no way in hell I'm setting foot in that harbour water...ever. I don't care if the mayor and city councillors, Ellen Page and Sidney Crosby jump in! There are two-and-a-half centuries of shit sediment lining the bottom of the Harbour. What if a big ship stirs that all up? We should have a shit meter on a website for swimmers to check:

Safe to Swim: clean water, so give 'er!

Moderate Shit Levels: rain the night before, treatment plant got overwhelmed, watch for a few dookies and some TP.

High Shit Levels: sorry, it rained and a big container/cruise ship stirred up two-and-a-half centuries of shit. Extreme health warning!

This way the city of Halifax would look prepared for the huge number of lawsuits coming soon from swimmers who've been duped by the mayor into going in for a dip and getting sick. I don't appreciate you rushing to say the Harbour is OK because you wanna look good in the upcoming municipal election, Mr. Kelly.

By ---Stoo Metz

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