- JESSICA HARTJES
- Comedian, musician and overworked student Cheryl Hann answers all of Halifax’s most-pressing social dilemmas.
Dear Ask Hole,
I've come to accept my downstairs neighbours' love of loud country music. Live and let live, I say. Only now it's election season, and my good neighbours are proudly displaying a campaign sign for a political candidate and party I detest. A party I'd wager the whole neighbourhood detests. What should I do? Should I take the sign down before film industry workers and schoolteachers start egging our apartment building?
Stupid Infographic Going Nowhere
I've recently learned—from reading a number of delightful novelty license plates—that Canada is a FREE COUNTRY where FREE SPEECH is more important than YOUR FEELINGS. Also, if WHEN I DIE, you could BURY ME UPSIDE DOWN SO THE WORLD CAN KISS MY ASS, that'd be great. Based on what I've gleaned from these tiny,
1 Grab a Sharpie (red is preferable) and change all of the As in the candidate's name to anarchy symbols. This way your neighbours will know that at least one person in the building is capital P Punk and capital N Not Having It! Anyone strolling past your apartment will gasp and—clutching the collar of their shirt—proclaim, "Dear me! This isn't my father's election!" This is the guaranteed effect of
2 Consider creating a haunted video, a la The Ring, and leaving it in your neighbours' mailbox. This may take some time and
3 Weird Al your neighbours with a parody cover of "The Sign" by Ace of Base!!! BOOM. Lyrics could include: "I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes to your lack of concern for arts funding." Whatever you feel! Play this song on a 24-hour loop with your speakers pressed against a shared wall. They will get the message.
In conclusion, any/all of these ideas are probably easier and more effective than knocking on your neighbours' door and having an open and honest discussion about your concerns. Treating them like human beings and trying to understand each other's uniquely formed needs and opinions would be terrifying. AHH!