If 200 Cigarettes taught us anything—and it taught us everything—it's that you better know where your date is on New Year's Eve. It's the most important night of the year, and not just for Kathy Griffin. There's a predetermination of romance. That kiss at midnight will crystalize your love life for the next 365 days (no pressure).
So what if it's December 31 and you still don't have a date?
First thing first; it's not impossible. If you're still desperately trying to find a date for the biggest party of 2015/16 with only hours to go, that's still plenty of time. Two hearts only need a moment to beat in sync.
"The quickest thing I've ever done is find someone on a dance floor," says Ryan Chisholm, The Coast's art director and resident swinging bachelor. "Sometimes you turn to someone and you're like 'hey,' and next thing you know you're making out."
Chisholm is an experienced dater and has downloaded Tinder at least twice. So obviously as our in-office expert on courtship, I asked him how he'd try to find a date on New Year's Eve. One recommendation; don't act cool.
People don't like cool people, Chisholm says. People like fun people. That's legitimately good advice. I was as surprised as you are.
He continued by advising lonely souls at a NYE party to head out on the dance floor with abandon and sweat away the sadness. If you're lucky, the twerking reveler next to you might be single.
"Maybe you're dancing up, and your butts touch a little bit; maybe you see their reaction to that," Chisholm advises, underscoring the finesse involved in gauging a rump's response. "You're looking for a gentle butt touch back."
Look, 2016 is only a number. Don't put yourself out there on New Year's just to appease Garry Marshall's story structure. Do it because the next person you fall head-over-heels for may only be a butt touch away.