In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

"Farewell, good uncle," the king's nephew says to the king's son. This would be inconsequential, except it reveals that the writer of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale doesn't know the difference between an uncle and a cousin. The latest from Uwe Boll, the director of video-game movie abominations House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, continues his streak. Internet fanboys love painting Boll as Satan, when other filmmakers' offenses surpass his incompetence. And Boll is in fact fascinating---largely because his movies assume their audiences exist in an alternate dimension of human experience. How else to account for the intense cutting and suspenseful music Boll places over a man's burial of his son? Only Boll's weird sense of putting together a movie gives In the Name of the King character. Its succession of Lord of the Rings-inspired battles in forests and fields would be rote, if Boll didn't score them with upbeat string arrangements and have his evil "Krugs" be hunched-over actors grunting in Toxic Avenger costumes. The film's miracle cast of Jason Statham (as Farmer, who teaches his son that boomerangs are for scaring birds, not killing them), Ray Liotta (as bad guy Gallian, who stands in a tornado of smoke while wearing a leather trenchcoat), Burt Reynolds (as King Konreid, who's under so much stress he resorts to summoning the ninjas) and Leelee Sobieski attests to Boll's status as a weird pop phenom.

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