Halifax Weddings » Wedding & Reception Planning

Navigating the Perils of Vow Writing


Writing your own wedding vows can be a bigger and more headache-ridden activity than most soon-to-be newlyweds anticipate. Here are a few tips to help you get started. Before you start writing your vows get the “all-clear” from your officiate. Depending on your officiate, church or synagogue there may be stipulations on how much you can deviate from traditional vows. Also, you should have your officiate read through and approve your vows prior to the ceremony. Decide whether you and your fiancé would like to write separate vows or write them together. You can even choose to recite the same vows. Before sitting down to write, decide on the length of your vows and the overall structure. You will probably want to cover a few basics: how much you love your fiancé; how you think you work as a couple; and the promises (vows) you are making to one another. Make sure you feel comfortable with the vows you are writing – you will be sharing them not only with your fiancé but also with all your friends, family and co-workers (yikes). Here are some brainstorming ideas to help you pen the ultimate vows:

1: Mention something funny/ unique/ touching about when or how you met each other.
2: Explain how your life has changed since you met. Mention how your mate’s love of kayaking/ rock-climbing/ bungee jumping/ WWII battle reenacting/ etc. has broadened your horizons.
3: Envision your future. When you are old and grey together do you see yourselves sailing around the world on a perpetual quest for the new and exciting or will you be bunkered down in a quaint cottage by a lake in fuzzy housecoats and bunny slippers surrounded by flowers and a herd of grandchildren?
4: Use sections of a traditional vow but add your own personal touches to it –“I promise to love, cherish, and walk the dog at least three days a week…” 5: Relate how/ when you fell in love with each other.
6: Explain how your fiancé has taught you something meaningful about life due to his/her love of charity, animals, music, etc.
7: When in doubt – “quote.” Add a little panache to your vows by taking a line from Shakespeare, Dylan, The Beastie Boys – whatever suits your personal style. Try to use a line from something that has meaning in your relationship. For example, quote Tom Petty if your first kiss happened while listening to one of his songs.
8: Share a memory of a wonderful moment you had together – something as simple as a sunset or something more humorous, such as an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction in front of the future in-laws. 9: State your shared goals and dreams. What are you most looking forward to about married life?
10: Explain what the bond of marriage means to you personally. Following these basic guidelines will help outline heartfelt wedding vows. Your partner-in-life will be joyously listening as will all the guests hanging on to your loving words

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