Oh, Danny Williams! He's floatin' my boat.
He's tingling my spine. He's charming the pants off me. I don't care if his head's a perfect rectangle, his hair looks like Chachi's from
Newfoundlanders and Labradorians can count themselves on the winning side of the premier charisma battle with Danny. He's jocular, he's got tarnish-proof pride in his province and he can boast for miles about his utter failure to fawn at the feet of the feds.
Our premier could take note.
Yeah, yeah...Rodney MacDonald celebrated a victory last week, as he and Stephen Harper laid out another reinterpretation of the Atlantic Acccord. They shook pinkies and agreed Nova Scotians wouldn't lose any pre-promised oil and gas revenues. But did
Rodney's worth as a premier get a boost from his Harper handshake?
In the face of Williams's ongoing tactics—not the least of which have been his nationwide newspaper ads last March dubbing Harper untrustworthy, and his routine and eloquent shout-downs of Harper and his posse for their failure to bring it, offshore-revenue-style—Rodney MacDonald looks like a mewling seal pup who's come to suckle at the great tits of Harper and the federal conservative machine.
And that's a pup Danny Williams would just as soon bash over the head, too. Can we have a seal moment? If there's an animal rights issue that's mired in more patent absurdity than the seal hunt, I'd like to know what it is. Seals are poster pups for cuteness—that's the only reason the hunting of their young gets pop culture protest credence.
Cuteness doesn't save lambs. Nor veal calves. And it didn't do a thing for Paul
McCartney either when he and former lady-love Heather Mills-McCartney tried to go head-to-head with Williams over the hunt on Larry King Live last year. Williams's performance was delightfully confrontational and beautifully ass-kicking.
Yes, Williams is a ranter and a fighter. And what's it earned him? (Besides a lost voice, I mean: Williams had to cancel
interviews with the hungry hordes right after his electoral blasting of the opposition October 9 because he was hoarse. Quiet, he is not.)
Last week, Williams scored a second
majority government with 43 of 48 seats in the Newfoundland and Labrador legislature. The man is Smallwood-esque in his popularity. And he's got the same passion for his province, too.
As a Nova Scotian, I've never understood that in my premiers.
And what of Rodney? What's he gained for his refusal to reel and roar in the good name of Nova Scotia? What have his furtive forays with Harper over offshore cash won us? A deal no one knows how to interpret and most analysts are saying we won't be able to check on the balance sheet for years to come.
Oh, and no 48 seats. His party's got 23 out of 52. He's got a neutered minority (note my optimism—really, it could only be considered validly "neutered" if Nova Scotia's other parties had the will to get together and kick Rodney to the curb. As it stands, they have only the fear of god that if they do bring Rodney's PCs down, they won't even muster enough support to beat him).
But Danny Williams? He's got his job back and he's got a fight he's ready for with Harper.
And he's got me.
And if he needs hot water and lemon for the sore throat, I can hop right over the strait and put on the kettle.
Get your Danny on. Send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.