Sometimes, the more unlikely the raw parts, the better the mash-up (see Nirvana and Rick Astley). But that doesn't mean there's going to be a love connection. This is the case of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a literary collision between Jane Austen's beloved classic and the undead. Elizabeth Bennett and her sisters are trained ninjas who go to parties and dream of their futures, when they're not slaying the zombies who creep throughout the British countryside. A page-by-page comparison reveals that Grahame-Smith has rewritten little of the original, except for awkwardly inserted fight scenes and some language updates (according to the publisher, the book is 85 percent Austen and 15 new content). Unfortunately, this could have been a genius gothic-romance tale, if the author had studied classics like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. It's just not frightening---these zombies are dead boring, and that's a killer. There are amusing moments and it's a huge step-up from the usual beach-book fare, but do yourself a favour, grab Austen's original, or rent Clueless. Hopefully Quirk will get it together before Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, out September 15, which promises "60 percent Austen and 40 percent additional monster chaos!"