Snow White and The Huntsman

Gold is promised, but not delivered

I am also super bored by apples.
I am also super bored by apples.

It’s an intriguing concept to re-work an old story into a new, CGI rich action movie. Ravenna (Charlize Theron), a new take on the evil queen, conquers villages, sapping the life and beauty out of everything to stay young. Since Snow White (Kristen Stewart) would serve as the ultimate antidote to age, she sends the dopey huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to capture Snow White. Director Rupert Sanders makes it his mission to close in on Stewart’s agape mouth a maximum number of times, perhaps to distract us from her minute talent, which seems extra small next to Theron's. The story is a combination of disjointed scenes with stilted dialogue. The CGI effects are good—probably this movie's biggest selling point, but not enough to merit committing more than two hours to the unintentionally laughable Stewart. As one of the dwarves says while sliding through a sewer, we’re “promised gold” but get “shit.”

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