The Hottie and Nottie
The Hottie and the Nottie stars Paris Hilton, Step by Step's Christine Lakin and an actor who insists on calling himself The Greg Wilson. It's the kind of movie that only an ironic hipster or a Step by Step completist could love. But just how bad is it? Well, Hilton's terribly flat line-readings aside, the film's not really worse than other lame films. Granted, its premise is both creepy and illogical. Lovelorn Nate (Joel David Moore) drops his life and travels across the country to stalk "hottie" Cristabel (Hilton), a girl he had a crush on when he was six; he's thwarted by the fact that Cristabel, while miraculously still single, has vowed not to date until her ugly, hairy friend June (Lakin, as the titular "nottie") finds that special someone. Ultimately, offensive Hottie teaches us all an age-old movie lesson---that it's what's inside that counts, sorta. But in movies like this, it's only possible to learn that lesson after uggos stop ugging the place up. June sheds her mole and gnarly teeth, thereby becoming a person of value. The film is objectively awful, and stars a bored socialite. But its biggest crime is oversimplifying the plight of the "unattractive" and championing shallowness. In doing both, it's simply honouring a sad, timeworn movie tradition.